bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99093
 11.06.2014
and Dix:
But while I am sick, I don’t want to fuck.
The current in the code I start looking, and immediately the tears run.
I’m not sure if it will happen when I’m healed.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №99092
 11.06.2014
At night I beat my husband’s elbow into his chest, and to his indignation I answer:
I dreamed you were deceiving me.
After a while in the morning I go out to the kitchen, my husband rushed to embrace me, kiss:
I am confused:
What are you?
I also dreamed you were cheating on me.
“I’m the shit, and I hit you for that, and you...
I am glad you are really alive.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №99091
 11.06.2014
She says: Hi! How to draw a curve in a coral?
He says hello. Take your brush and try to draw straight!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №99090
 11.06.2014
With RSDN:

Why does OS X Yosemite look like shit?
[8086] This is because your screen reflects.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №99089
 11.06.2014
The article "Residents of the region were offered to transfer the daily salary to the Crimean support fund", comments:

And there in Crimea what exactly happened – flooding or earthquake?
YYY: There happened Russia

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99088
 11.06.2014
Attention to
The story of the sofa in hotels
----------------------
I am trying to guess where the country is in the elite.
The hotel has not appeared for 10 days.
The cleaner.
----------------------
The author describes a remake of the story with a Soviet rock band in a Soviet hotel. The sofa was a closet.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №99087
 11.06.2014
A harsh sanction
We all did not wait.
Return the dogs! You are on whom
Was she cleaned?
Who will give us joy
The stupid doctors?
Marusia Harp is not at all in charge:
She is not a dog.
I am writing a petition to the Senate:
Enemies and dogs.
Bring the clown back.
Return the dogs!
She was a star,
Light in the dark.
It has become our homeland.
Get back the dogs!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №99086
 11.06.2014
Discuss the prospects of the emergence of battery charging stations for Tesla cars.
xxx: “Our” will most likely dilute the constant current with the variable.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №99085
 11.06.2014
I don't know if you quit smoking, and in our Angarsk, the calyans have already been renamed into fruit inhalers...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99084
 11.06.2014
Why does sleep take away only the best of us?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №99083
 11.06.2014
Quote from a legal forum:

The expert's report was brief and concise - it is impossible to determine the fact of the violation by the video recording presented, due to the absence of the video recording on the disc presented.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99082
 11.06.2014
Why is the daughter of the native Indian Ravi Shankara called Anushka?
We don’t know what the name is. Suddenly it is a traditional Indian name, which in translation from Sanskrit means... Well, for example, “throwing oil.”

[ + 47 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99081
 11.06.2014
here here :

There is a country called Belarus.
==== is

B E L A R U S! The country is called Belarus. by Be-la-Russie
We do not call you Russia. and rrr
(And not about the Soviet habit - there are few people under the USSR who were so conscious)

____

How much about the same thing? In Russian, your country is called Belarus. And there are also Kyrgyzstan, England, Germany, Finland, etc. and so on, and not Kyrgyzstan, England, Doha and Soomi. We are at home, on our resource we will name different countries as it is accepted in our language, not as you want!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №99080
 11.06.2014
by Natasha :
How do people cook in the multivarka, praise her, it is apparently my hands from my ass

and Ivan :
They have hands out of their ass. They don’t know how to cook themselves, the multivarka makes them.
Because they get more delicious in multivarka than they cook themselves. And you cook better than multivarka, so you cook better than them!
This is a pedestal:
1st place: Natasha
2nd place: Multivarka
Third place: Those who praise the cartoon

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №99079
 11.06.2014
The line to the beach toilet is a place where decent people gather.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №99078
 11.06.2014
About the Bonnie.

It is made of corners and corners. Small brown living eyes, a sharp nose, picturesque pimples, veins in the nodes. And always ready to flash on the face of the child's blossoming smile. Bonnie is about fifty. She’s up to us to take tests twice a week, shakes her eyes, turns her head, and the lab immediately becomes noisy. She sprinkled compliments. She cries and makes me laugh. On the verge of decency is interested in the details why this girl did not sleep at the reception. He notices a new tattoo on the wrist of the other and cheers joyfully “ego-gay!” the third.

Bonnie is fashionable. She has beautiful rings and chains. She still has no leg.
Sometimes, a little sluggish, she comes on a prosthetic, but something he does not quite satisfy her. Usually she cleverly jumps from the driver's seat of a small Toyota into a wheelchair. And then cleverly and quickly rushes through the hospital corridors, involuntarily forcing the encounters to jump away and scream after her "Sorry!" for being in her way.

She wraps the needle shirt in my hand. “Do you like the library?” she asked. I love the city library. This is the best place on earth!" she dreamingly tells how great it is there to meditate, stretch in a chair, listen to audio books, watch movies, talk to people. Flirt with a guard on the parking lot - well, a very interesting man, a retired firefighter! I mean, to ride there.

She strips a piece of wool from her sleeve. She has three dogs. I already know their names and works.

I pull the needle out of the vein, press a tampon. It needs to be kept for a long time, otherwise her blood, drunk with drugs, will flow and flow.

I worked in another department for a while. And I don’t even notice that she hasn’t appeared for a few weeks.

The next day, Bonnie enters the office with the wind. “How are you, Bonnie?I smile, I am really happy to see her. And I stop in shock confusion, trying not to betray myself.

Bonnie has no legs.

She slightly rotates her lean naked body on the seat with strong hands. She notices my gaze, and her lips scratch for a second. And then with a fun annoyance she says, "Well, you understand, fuck you understand these strange doctors, something didn't like my foot! They pulled! No, I am jealous of everyone! And the weight has become less, now I weigh like a supermodel!” and radiantly smiles to me.

Then cleverly flashes, pressing the elbow with a tampon, says - "look!" - and strongly scrolls the wheel of the wheel, driving through the cabinet. In both wheels the kaleidoscope flashes colorful bulbs. Bonnie sincerely sneered, seeing my surprise. Just like a child, she cuddly goes on to say goodbye.

May God protect you, Bonnie. For us all.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №99077
 11.06.2014
He joined the Club of Anonymous Alcoholics. It’s been my third day and I don’t even know with whom.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99076
 11.06.2014
For the first time in the history of a computer managed to pass the famous Turing test.

Contik32: The main thing is to recruit the right people in the jury. There is somewhere in South Butovo a good judge contingent for such a test.
I’m afraid they won’t be able to convince the computer that they’re humans.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99075
 11.06.2014
Summary (original text, no corrections have been made):
I wish to be in charge of your work as a warehouse manager.
I have experience of management at XXX.
I worked for five years in the factory as a stapler. After that, he worked for three years as deputy chief of the warehouse of the warehouse. Experience with Oracle Applications.
Higher secondary education. He began his work path with graduate of the courses of PTU No. X with the corks of a stone worker. Working in the factory, he entered the UKTU-UPI named after EBN Yeltsin. I did not have time to finish the university because a son was born.I have experience dealing with the resource (Kamaz, UAZ, GAZ and lighthouse) I worked in the resource shop on the assembly in a business trip when my workshop was closed. I have a great desire to work in the warehouse as a manager.
Life commitment is career aspirations.
Sports commitment - tourism and river and alloy hiking.
Family Commitment – A Strong Family
Commitment to work is salary.
Year of Birth: 19XX XXXXX X
Married
I have a son and will soon have a daughter.
I am currently unemployed and I am working on Euroremont.
I like to look forward to the future and stand on my feet.
Not to subdue.
The order can give XXX.

[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99074
 11.06.2014
Yesterday, with the mother-in-law of the poor young mint in paint, he smoked on the street, the mother-in-law shouted:"there you can definitely smoke!" drove to his side :))))

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