Remember how in childhood made "cocktails" from burned sugar:
You didn’t have a grandfather like me.
xxxh: he poured on a plate and made cookies with a fat hand from the barley)))))
The neighbors were cooking the cakes 😉
HHH: And they were all set

qweshka: confiscated databases, computer... mja, someone tell the opposition about cloud technologies...

Kalvado: They were told. And in the MVD did not understand, sent to the hydrometeorological center.

I talk to my wife during PMS.

Wife: I am a bit of a shabby! A stupid whole thing!and Noet
I: What a nonsense! You are the most beautiful of me! I love you!
Wife: Because you’re dumb too!It is :)))

The curtain.)

It is said that with age comes wisdom.
A woman under the window said:
"I noticed something here. It turns out which day of the week falls on June 1, the same will be the 15".

So where do you get it, you claim you don’t know?

I have it, why should I know where to get it?

Talk of brother and mother.
Mom, I bought the slices.
Mother: What kind of stuff? to run?
n.p

We miss the rain. There is Internet.
Mom: You can read something useful and necessary on the Internet... Well, for example, how to kill everyone... (a long thoughtful silence). After the break: ants

Police conducted a search in the case of riots in the apartment of Navalny, Nemtsov, Yashin and Sobchak. During the search, a mess was found.

Yesterday I found out that our steward is a believer. Everywhere changed the color "#666" to the same, but in the format "rgb(102, 102, 102)".

The English played against the French.
I understand, of course, that the French footballer is native to Algeria and it is not his fault that his name is Samir Nasri.
But the commentator, imho, should take into account the language of his native country and not make the sentences:
and Nasri!
Stay on the right flank!
Go on forward!
Drop it yourself!
Go to Ribery!
And my favorite:
Nasri... Nasri! and Nasri! Go to the near corner! The count is 1:1!

[22:58:30] Sasaki Kojirou: Skype just offered me, I quote: "subscribe to a plan and call on regular phones without restrictions"
[22:58:53] Sasaki Kojirou: Yes, by subscribing to the plan, I will be able to zone without restrictions not only on phones, but also on the microwave.

from youtube commentary

Happy future with MMM

Everyone will work exclusively for their own pleasure and do what they want. Here are, for example, dog owners - breeding dogs, deer owners - deer, and Sergey Panteleich - loch.

Captcha 4 days. back to

I was looking for a junior a while ago.
I found it here in the community, but unfortunately, my superiors preferred knowledge of Hebrew to professional qualities and took the oborigen with GREAT MOTIVATION (promised to work day and night and justify the trust shown).
Today I gave him a task: to write a script that counts how many hours have passed since the beginning of the year.
Five hours have passed, no script.
I begin to lay down the algorithm on the shelves (in this case, even the word is too loud).
I say, first we check the year and ask - how the year affects the time in the year.
Comrade does not understand.
I give another chance. I ask how many days in the year.
Clearly answered 365 (only answer)
Question: What happens once every four years?
Now be prepared:
After thinking for a few seconds, he replies - "Euro".
You are funny, and my boss wants to give him a chance.

* For women (Euro - European Football Championship)

Yesterday I was in the pharmacy, in front of me the girl bought a large package of condoms, a lubricant and... a wide bandage.
Somebody’s going to be an...an until death.

You’re going to go with me on a date, right? standing on his knees
WOW: Oh what is it? You’ll be there and I’ll hold the candle? No – No...
Bro... I’m afraid of her.

A dispute with my wife.
I called your mother and congratulated her. I forgot about my mom’s doctor last time.
M: Dear, there is a fundamental reason why you remember such things, and I don’t remember. (I point out the gesture in the direction of primary sexual characteristics). Hence the main differences!
For a moment, I thought... Are you a fucker?

You need something or you don’t – you’ll know when you throw it away

“Tell me and I will forget. Show me and I will remember. Let me teach someone and it will be mine. Go aside and then maybe I’ll finally be able to do better than you taught me.”

The phrase seems to be familiar, but in this form you will not find it either in Franklin or in the ancient Chinese to whom it is attributed. It was abandoned to me a few years ago by a brilliant lawyer of the older generation. He was forever busy, forgot the exact quote, and he had to reinvent it himself. What’s called, Franklin turned aside. I think our lawyer did better.

This aphorism inspired him by a youthful memory. Despite the academic degree of a doctor of legal sciences and a lot of overly calculated regalias, he hardly remembered the lectures of the jurfak of forty years ago and the Talmud of the then textbooks. But his coursework, "On motivation of crimes", he had to do himself in real criminal cases - he remembered it to the details. Then, at the end of the sixties, a resolution came out that the accused should carefully find out the motives of the crime and take them into account when issuing a sentence. Before this ruling was easier - for how many years you rushed, so much and sit. Here a student and assigned a hot topic for the course. Investigating her, he found a bunch of amazing cases of those years, one of which I will tell.

The man was accused of having arranged a gun armor in the middle of the day in the Vladivostok supermarket "Golden Horn". First he shot the roof, then the people. There were no casualties, but the bullets were pulled out of the door. A mass murder attempt, a terrorist attack. The criminal has almost been convicted, and this is your decision. I had to ask him about the motives. He calmly replied that it was a foolish drunken joke - he only gathered to shoot into the ceiling. It seemed to him, do you see that from a long time of peace the people became quite cowardly. If anything happens, no one will protect the country, not even they can stand for themselves. Here he checked the people for seamlessness - a man stands in the center of the hall, does not throw on anyone, burns strictly into the ceiling, in the rest behaves normally. And nobody tried to stop him, everybody drove away.

“Why did you start shooting at people?” The investigator asked him.
“You understand, when I opened the ceiling shooting, women panicked and the healthiest cockroaches were the first to jump to the door! I was very sorry for the men, so I stumbled on them! From the soul!”

Psychiatrists found no defects in the man. Except for a strong sense of justice. And for this, we are not in a psychic, only in jail. The appeal went to the court: "A mitigating circumstance - was extremely outraged by the non-Soviet behavior of individual citizens"

And my grandmother still has a new Sony video magnet, which she promised to give me for my wedding.

How poor and naive you are, boys 15-25 years old. You believe that with your miserable life experience you know life. Having gathered in the back of life, and in the “Kiss123” you measure all women by their standards. Sitting on your mother’s neck and having worked for a couple of months as a promoter or consultant, you scream out loud that there are more than 10,000 in this country. Honestly not earning. Having listened to a couple of nurtured friends who in turn created worthless disadvantaged families, you believe that men are polygamous and must betray. You build your understanding of life from fragments of sites where the same losers share their experiences. You often don’t even suspect that there is another social layer where people do their favorite business and create happy families. But you don’t cross with them, they don’t drink beer at the entrances and don’t give “smart” advice on the forums, they don’t. And even if you meet them somewhere, then proceed through your teeth something jealous, not even realizing that you missed your chance to learn about another life again. Some of you will find out later, going through the robberies. Someone will never understand. Sadly...