Try to tell the truth one day, and by the evening you will be unemployed, homeless, lonely, damned by all and abandoned disabled, lying in the traumatology resuscitation.

Even people with a developed sense of humor do not want a ridiculous salary.

Monologues about fishing.

Fishermen know when fishing is considered successful.
The first rule is when you have caught a lot of fish.
As a child, I lived in Guriev, in the mouth of the Ural river, there were no problems with clay and catch there. But you can catch in different ways: on wheels, wheels, wheels. The most interesting was fishing on spinning. For some reason, they were not caught for glitters, but for homemade fish made of foam. You take a piece of dense foam, cut out a fish, insert a triangle with red wool threads, tie the cargo in a half-meter - and all, the cloth is ready. The most difficult thing was to get the coil and learn to throw it away, there were simply no non-ziner coils then, and on coils like “Kyiv” or “Nevskaya” at first everyone got a beard, like Chernomor. Therefore, the spinningists were few, mostly caught on the cloth easier.
I was 15 years old, it was late autumn. Quite quickly I caught a passing piece of vessels, small, weighing a kilogram, I already pulled out three pieces and continued to throw further. A company of fishermen passed by, who went fishing down the stream and returned. They were already adult men-friends, people four or five. They were not so lucky, only a couple of judges talked about them all in their bags.
I looked around, evaluated the catch – I already have more. “The key. Kosyak approached.”They stood up nearby and also began to throw spinning. The clown continued, in turn one, the other was pulled out by the court. Within half an hour, each had two or three fish. Everyone except one. It was an obvious newcomer, to throw, though crude and inaccurate, but without a "beard", he has already learned, but there was a problem with the beard. Probably, he was told how the fish was made, but forgot to show. The fish was crude, unshallowed, so it quickly filled with dirt, but most importantly – it was huge. The usual fist was the size of a finger, and he was the size of a palm. Most likely, he was given a float from the grid as a piece of work, told how to cut, but forgot to warn that the piece should be cut into several pieces and make several copies, he cut only one fish. And the dwarf is not a squid, he does not like large fish even in the form of a dwarf.
His friends were already joking about him on the full program.
“Vasya, the Belugus come to the Urals only in the winter.”
“Wait, don’t throw it away, let the trailer pass, or else you’ll hit, you’ll sink unintentionally.”
“Are you going to catch the judge on the judge?” and so on in the same spirit.
It was seen from him that he had already accepted the failure, he was even ridiculed somehow doomed, and continued to throw more inertia, already without any hope for a result. I felt sorry for him, I looked around my catch – six were already lying on the shore, the rest were noticeably less.
It’s time to remember the second rule of successful fishing – no matter how much you catch this time, the main thing is to catch all the others. Even if you catch five sandstorms and the rest are three, it will be more fun than when you pull out three sandstorms and the rest are five.
So we could show sympathy. I approached him and suggested, “I still have a couple of spare fish, take one until the clay is over.”But he sadly refused – even a couple of fish caught from jokes would not save him. We continued to catch and then suddenly someone struck him.
As for the team, everyone stopped rotating the coils and began to look at Vasa and his head. The leash tightened, the veil bended with a bow. His face was unmoving, as if crumbling, but somehow a bunch of emotions were reflected on him. And confusion – what is it? And confusion, and the fear of believing that somebody has knocked out. He concentrated on turning the coil, the others could not withstand and began to give him advice. “Don’t pull so hard, you’ll break the leash or you’ll break the leash! Above, higher up, there is a jar in the water, now in the ground will crumble. Don’t pull you so hard!” but Vasya could no longer hear anyone. In some hurry, he continued to turn the coil with effort, evenly, like a robot.
He pulled out the judge. It was no longer a judge like ours, it was a judge. It’s a pity that you can’t put your hands aside and show how big it was! Healthy, dark and thin. Everyone came and stood silently around him. Vasya, shaking from excitement, raised his hands on his hands. And here, in completion, from the fist of the judge fell the usual size of the wreath. Before he caught the snare, he caught the snare, but had not yet had time to swallow it. This was the last drop. Everyone quietly walked away on their backs. The joke was no longer allowed.
Because the third unofficial rule of successful fishing is that even if everyone else around caught a bag of fish, and you are only one trophies, then you caught them according to the full program. This time the undisputed winner was Vasa.

Mother of Siberia (c)

The fucking! I have the feeling that if I die, my wife will come to the grave and say, "Specially died, only to do nothing!"

Obama called the United States a "ray of hope" for the world

The > commentary:
Rather, the rays of diarrhea!

In the morning, at work. passed by an artificial ice. Local hockey teams are in play. Right in front of me, through a high glass fence, a shayba flies out. On the ice cries and mates, almost a fight. He picked up the shadow and threw it back through the fence. Mothers are...
In the evening, I played with a child who is learning to walk in a child’s maneuver (a small carpet with a fence to hold). The child fell out of the cage and cried. I picked up the bag, put it back. The child stopped crying.
I remembered the morning case. I thought a lot...

W W W W! Alone in ah... ah!! to
- fucking, the writer is interesting, in the word "in ah...we" you what you wanted for points
to hide it? ?
It is outrageous! )

Gloria: Today I went to the Goldfish - Leha! The chain and the hood are so cool! It is a problem with money...
Q: Did you even look at it?
Gloria: I didn’t photograph the chain, so you’ll see it at home tonight. Cloak with icon. They look good!

The quote:
When I was a child, I used to warm up a computer when a toy wasn’t a pearl. Now, for a long time I don't think, I think I would have to heat up the computer or the phones are getting more powerful)

The most funny thing about this quote is "heat"...
And then "heat" of course...

During a search in the apartment of Anatoly Wasserman, operatives found the meaning of life.

xxx: Babulency from the class of "Kim over 60" yesterday in the bus in front of me sat, listed contacts in the mobile. So cute: she has contact number 1 "Love" ))
WOW: This is the sky with her favorite numbers. My daddy doesn’t get sick too.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh The whole romance is broken.)
It is CHO! I was in my daddy’s house when I first saw Favorite No. 1, No. 2, No. 3 (and most importantly male!) Nihil was preached. Especially given that he has a call "cocareca..."
I mean ?

- We come to this alkasha home, and it's like in the advertisement:
"Mr. has drunk everything for a long time, the house is clean and light."

Lapushka: I have windows from work out to the bakery) in the morning here so smells delicious I want to eat

Damzzilla: I have a window in the leather processing shop. In the morning there is a smell of matches and fresh p#%duels. I want to drink

[link to a website with highly dubious content]
2: My cursor will not be on this site!

IL4: The Pro Poker 500 chips set is sold. used one time. offer the price)
F14 to 1500
IL4: There is an offer for 2500 from the kwsm user
Chapter 14: Blowing

A familiar electricist told me.

Calls the grandmother, says - in the room nothing in the socket is turned on, come, mother, look. I come. I cut off the plinth to see the wires. The smell of the cat will sweat everything. The grandmother says, "And I have a cat still in this place all the time writing and whispering strongly. "When the plinth is removed - my god! Everything has already rotted up there, and when the cat writes there, it must be striking quite strongly. That’s why he’s heartbreaking. But sucking there does not stop, constantly updating the label. A persistent animal.

From a pharmacist’s story. A drunken buyer comes to the pharmacy, takes something and after the purchase begins to stick: "Girl, what is your name?" "The pharmacist jokes: "I'm not called, I come here myself." The buyer rounded his eyes: "Only not a whiteboat!"

I went to the shop for kefir. Time – without three or two minutes, eleven. A drinking-looking man sits in front of the shelf with alcohol, looking for the vodka he needs. He catches the demanded half-liter, rushes to a row of bottles with collie, convulsively pulls out of it a pepsi 0.33 and makes the last rush to the box office. I don't know if there was anyone in front of him or the box was free, but after taking the kefir and coming to pay for it, I see a happy man, who in his whole voice, dispersing in the kindness of the cashier, hides behind the door, waving a bottle of pepsi. We and the cashier simultaneously look at the part of the shelf where the already broken goods are placed - there alone a bottle of vodka flashes. A friendly whistle is spread and the cashier cries in the aftermath of the departing: "Comrade! And vodka, maybe you will still take it?" A pleasant drinking out of the door: "What?" "Wodka you will take?" The face is stretched out, for a second on it interchange the misunderstanding, fear, awareness of the situation and the joy of being found again. “I’ll take it!” a man cries, sneezes to the box, takes a bottle and gently looks at it. It seemed now he would say to her: "My beauty"))

[10:51] <xxx> I took my own hamster to bleat
[10:52] <xxx> rated
[10:52] <xxx> named by
[10:52] <xxx> we have talked to him
[10:52] <xxx> well with her
[10:52] <xxx> that is
[10:52] <xxx> y
[10:53] <xxx> I am going to teach her
[10:53] <xxx> life
...
[11:00] <xxx> fuck
[11:00] <xxx> I lost the hamster

I guess the scan. Question: In two words in the column is written babahalk, 5 letters. The day thought, tried everything, already came to a friend with a scanword, thought with her, thought, also didn't come up with anything. Well, no, Hulk has a 5 letter babe and it's all here!And a friend's nephew was just in the guests, ten years old, well, we show him the question in the scanword, and he immediately answers us: SALUT. We, in two voices: "And what is here a greeting". To what the child replied: “Well, here is the book of Babahalka!”