I really liked the tattoo in the form of a barcode, and I decided to put it on my neck, I am happy to walk, pleased, and I work as a cashier) so here, it was quite boring somehow, I decided to try to break the barcode, it turned out that I am a pack of diapers 70 pieces for 660 rubles. and unexpectedly.

The Minister of Education 10 times failed to surrender the EGE, the Minister of Health lost consciousness in the line to the clinic, the deputy died of hunger, having lived one month on a child benefit.
Only then did the retiree release the goldfish!

The owner of the Ferrari was chasing in Moscow for the evacuator that took his car.

Ferrari, even put on the evacuator, can’t catch up.

The little boy is sick. I write to my husband:
Do not forget to give your child a pill.
The husband:
How to take this pill?
It can be chewed.
To chew and spit in his mouth.

Comment on the news that at the festival "Invasion" will be present launcher MBR "Topol-M" with calculation, for popularization and familiarization.
and.
The Queen 15 minutes ago
The rocket is good, the name of the festival is also appropriate. We use incorrectly.

Nash: The office router :)
Nash: From the polping everything went well
Nash: Pinnacle
Nash: Although it is the norm :)

at work. Program of 1C. See the user authority:
1st Minimum of powers;
2nd the standard powers;
Three full of powers;
4 is Anatoly

O_O

This
I go to the club by metro. I have lenses that shine red in the dark.
I walk quietly, I can’t see them in the light. Suddenly the lights in the car turned off for 5 minutes.
The light is turned on, the babaca is baptized, part of the passengers slowly flows off. My girlfriend hiccups.
At the next station all (!) People have gone out.
— — —
Find out where to buy, company, name. We have six months of constant night. I’d like to look at the salon 😉

When we sit on the bridge and you say to me for the first time that you don’t intend to sleep with me, I’ll hit you in the water!
XXX: With the words - "So do not get you to anyone!!and "
XXX is all.
XXX is sunset. The bridge. The titles.

I heard the ears in the bar. A drunk girl with a half-empty glass of beer tells two guys:
I get very easily drunk. I need a tablespoon of alcohol (showing a distance between the fingers of 2 cm), and I will be such a drunk (showing a distance of 15 cm).
You are what! Have you been driven so far from the circle?
No, you are the fourth.

From what, from what, from what, are these girls made.

As a flower girl, I need a shocker. For any case. Suddenly it will be useful.
- Buy Tazer, he shoots several meters with needles under tension.
And after the shot?
5 of charges. Then put in a new store.
It’s always buying ammunition.

from ZH:

You look at this kind of strange video, and you understand: yes, it was taken by the operator from God.
These hands are curved, shaking, this eye, apparently, is one, and also shallow, and blurred; this mind is scarce, which does not allow the frame to be precisely constructed - it is in him, the poor, all from God. God has punished.

has earned.
I go from work, I don’t touch anyone, I listen to Rammstein. Here are my headphones:
"Let Me See Your Script!!and "

xxx: today made a brain blast another fifa I don't know where such take! In the park came to the sandbox, my sitting like a blind man on his ears in the sand, still buried himself in the sand, his hands are dirty on the elbow, with anxiety lipping the cushion (by the way, I recently learned! I look at it philosophically from the border. Near the curly year-old angel looks sadly at it, the clothes are clean and clean, clearly branded. Mother with full makeup, manicure, fashionable glasses, a lay-out on her head, scornfully looks at Valera and tries to take her away from the sandbox, and he looks like hypnotized. It all ended up with him sitting straight on the sand (which horror!!) and his mother persuaded him not to touch the sand with a pen, but only with a scapula)))) and, in my opinion, cursed me in the shower

XXX: Sasha Popov calls for invasion
YYYYYWho is he calling? xd
XXX: in particular me
YYYYYAre you pop?
XXX: Sasha Popov

The prohibition of mate.

I remembered the old story of the mother-in-law.
The case occurred in Soviet times, so the commissioner took over his re-education.
Botzman penetrated the commissary’s pathetic speech and pledged to recover.

But in a way!
He wrote out all the mother words on paper, and... the ship's doctor translated them into Latin!

The commissary had nothing to do. But there were ordinary sailors. Earlier, the bosman will cover the mother - everything is clear, you will shake and do everything as it should.

I don’t even know what the boss wants from you.

SMS: 200 rubles are included in your account. After an hour comes the second one :"I accidentally credited you 200 rubles, please return them to this number! Thanks to you!"
Well, I think someone is running... I send a response SMS:"Oh, look for the bad guys!"
Immediately incoming message "Thank you for using our service".
I checked the account and took 200 rubles. After five minutes again comes the SMS :" Ah, one found ))"

We wake up with my husband at half ten in the morning and I am so sleepy:"I need to insert earlier!" My husband voted "Yes!"

His 5 kopecks about fairy reservations: worked in a large company and one time wandered to work in a small town of N-sk 100 km.from our city. And not far away, but there began the major repair of the main road and 90% of the road was by dusty, ground congresses. And here again returned from there, dirty, tired, swallowed dust because of the unworking air conditioner in the 40-degree heat and went to report to the General with a slump. Sitting so pink and hairy, interested in traveling. Here I say with some expression in the voice: you know, everything is fine, but the road is just unbearable, dust, heat and everywhere, the nightmare is shorter! And immediately she shut up, with horror digesting what was said. To their honor, they didn’t even lead their eyebrows... Ufff, I thought, leaving the office with burning ears, did not notice. But the second time the ears burned on the next planner, when the boss at all noticed: "and Julia to N-sk we will not send anymore, did not like her last time.

That’s why vampire movies don’t reflect their clothes in mirrors. Did they bite her too? O_O