bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №83723
 04.07.2013
What do you know about zero?
YYY: There was no such thing in Rome.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №83722
 04.07.2013
Recently in a spare parts store. I am standing with my father, a girl who is buying a towel for a car for the first time. I pick up a bottle, and Daddy walks behind his wallet. The further dialogue:

No need, I will pay myself. My own car!
Seller-woman, indulgence: Never prevent a man from taking care of you.
I, on the machine: It’s not a man, it’s a daddy!

She found nothing to object to.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №83721
 04.07.2013
Comments under the video of the Proton-m disaster in English:

In fact, everything went as planned. A year ago we launched 3 underwater Glonass satellites, now we launched 3 underground Glonass satellites. You, stupid Americans, just don’t understand all the genius of our future navigation system!

Have you found a short route to the other side of the planet?

Well yes. The rocket should jump out at you in Nashville on Independence Day.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №83720
 04.07.2013
I listen to all the industryals in the car. I am periodically scared. Something seems to have gone off :)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №83719
 04.07.2013
IT department of a large international company, meeting with a summary.
Chief: "We have achieved a lot in these six months. For example, Alexander has reached enlightenment" xD

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №83718
 04.07.2013
Don’t expect a bright future, please be happy with a bright tomorrow. Nick Blue

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №83717
 04.07.2013
Nizhnevartovsk, on the street +5, it rains, the sky is tightly stretched by clouds. The phrase heard in the store:
A third of the summer has already been overwintered.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №83716
 04.07.2013
After the adoption of the law on the protection of the feelings of believers in Russia, the earth has become flat, and rockets are now hitting the sky.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №83715
 04.07.2013
Sponsor of the military coup in Egypt - Krasnodar Territory Resorts?

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83714
 04.07.2013
to this:
I thought about discrimination against disabled people. Why don’t we see any disabled among the TV hosts? Are they being oppressed? Don’t let them work like everyone else?
I want to see single-handed, strangle-eyed and downs among the leading state channels!

All the Dauphins went to members.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №83713
 04.07.2013
This is the foolish man and his like.

I counted here, I have a cat, I fell, a month at 3000 p viscas eats. Nobody wants a cat? =) is

So when will you all finally realize that the whiskey-fries-kitchette is not only harmful to the cat, but also expensive? There are horns, horns and tails, they are not full at all, so cats eat a lot. Check out the cat for normal food, the so-called "premium class" - and the cat will be healthier, and you will save - both on food and on urethritis medications. Normal foods are full and their cat needs only 60-80 grams per day. I have two cats eating a pack of 3 kg for 800 rubles a month, or even more. Ask in the animal shops of the city, bleat.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №83712
 04.07.2013
Morning News: On the island of Java, cannibals ate a.Net programmer
O_0

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №83711
 04.07.2013
Tatty: So, did you order my pass?
Anna: No, I did not give it.
Tatty: And why?
Anna: It turns out that we only get permission from 18!
What are you doing so badly at your job?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №83710
 04.07.2013
(Discussions about the unsuccessful launch of a missile in Baikonur)
He recalled the case when Ukrainian "rocketers" accidentally shot down a Israeli aircraft with passengers on board "...
WOW: then the Mascals swore up the full aircraft and shot down our peacefully flying missile!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №83709
 04.07.2013
The cause of the fall of the rocket "proton": poorly provided services for education provided by the RPC

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №83708
 04.07.2013
At work, I talk on the phone: he loves soft and gentle, and I love hard! This is what I should do?
I see the boss’s face. How did he explain that it was about processing photos? And, most importantly, how to remove this strange smile from his face? The cock is scary! O_O

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №83707
 04.07.2013
There are four main versions of the "Proton M" crash:
and gay;
U.S. adopted children
The blasphemers;
by Alexei Navalny.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №83706
 04.07.2013
to Reflections
>> xxx: How bad the feeling that the understanding with Yulia was better than with Lena...
YYY: That is normal.
Yyy: Julia was a colleague!! to
YYY: Lena, at best, is just the mother of your children.

__________
mutual understanding is always better with the woman with whom you do not have a commodity-money relationship :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №83705
 04.07.2013
I hear the edge of the ear at work: "Imagine yesterday, the Omonians took out the door in the refrigerator, looked for drugs, and broke the nose of the owner."
Eating for a long time. It turned out that "The Refrigerator" is a restaurant.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №83704
 04.07.2013
This is the news on Mail Pro4el...
Law on the privacy of citizens adopted in Russia
Amendments to the Civil Code, in particular, restrict the dissemination of information about the private life of a citizen and prohibit the dissemination of false information about a citizen, even if it is not defamatory.
But I was not caught by the law itself, but as it happens, a commentary on the article)

Now all the old-grandmothers who sit near the entrance can be put in jail.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna