bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99908
 01.07.2014
Salary is enough to lead a woman only by looking.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №99907
 01.07.2014
In one district school, the teacher of the junior classes had to be certified for the category. She prepared for this for a whole month, composed not a lesson, but a whole fairy tale.
So the day “D” came, the hour “C”. Two daughters come from the slope, sitting behind one of the back pairs.
The teacher gives the installation for the lesson:
Children, we will have a very interesting lesson today. To be really interesting to you, I invited two monkeys to a lesson.
And with these words, she sits under the table to get two plush toys.
And the children, as a team, turn to the back of the party, look at the monkey.
However, the teacher has successfully...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №99906
 01.07.2014
After his wife's phrase "So I want a fried salty strawberry," the father of seven children lost consciousness.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99905
 01.07.2014
On the prohibition of smoking, I will throw it into the fan.

And did you know that a person over the age of 30 who abruptly quit smoking (in less than one year) has a risk of developing ischemic heart disease? And those who abruptly quit after 45 years have a 40% chance of getting a heart attack within a year?

People start smoking “for pleasure” or “for pleasure” and then smoke all their lives because it becomes a necessity. So don’t take laws to fight smokers, no matter how bad you do them, they’ll still smoke. Anti-smoking laws should protect from smoking those who are not still smoking, not those for whom it is a necessity. For now, I see only a four-fold increase in the price of cigarettes and various mocking, increasing the degree of anger of the population.

Z is. 24 years old, medical student, I do not smoke.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №99904
 01.07.2014
[17:26:08] <Neo`> fuck
[17:26:11] <Neo`> tanks are burning
[17:26:21] <Neo`> for the boat farming fun for a month - well, shit, I sit waiting
[17:26:49] <Neo`> until the end of the punishment there is a week, a letter comes from the day: "Dear Neo`, try the game there is a surprise waiting for you!"
[17:27:02] <Neo`> I try to enter - and there is a messaging message: "Tadayaam, ban you extended for another month!"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №99903
 01.07.2014
How good to be alone. You can talk to yourself, without feeling on yourself dull eyes, like a fool. You can listen to your favorite music without headsets. You can watch porn when you want. You can walk naked around the apartment and curl when you want. You can play Counter-Strike and scream "Bla da as a Taak!" In the whole throat. You can boil and smoke calyan under your favourite old good movies, and roast at least all night. When you are alone, you are free. When you are alone, you are you. How nice it is to be alone!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №99902
 01.07.2014
I want to add
About a man who bought an electric tool for 9000p to assemble a desk for his first-class daughter with his own hands.
>XXXX: Of course, it is not worth the money for the sheep. But it is not a means for me.
> and earnings. I bought the tool gradually. I have a friend hunter. I have him one day.
> calculated the cost of a kilogram of mined straw. The wild number. But how
> count his enjoyment of hunting?

If you increase the number of furniture, the return increases sharply. Looking for where they can make a kitchen setup on order (the kitchen is small, you need to turn around). The cheapest (honestly doubtful) offer is 18000r. The company has 28,000 r. Of these, 4000R is design. I refused to take my work). I decided to do it myself.
The result: I collected a kitchen for 20 thousand, but (!) In this price included oven and plate for 7000r. It took about 5000r for the material, 7000r for the tool. Approximately 1000 for transportation.
At the same time, I spent 2 hours in the evening for two weeks and two Saturdays completely on assembly. At my p/p of about 150 p. per hour it is 4000 p "time". The result is that the project has been fully paid. There is also an instrument in hand.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №99901
 01.07.2014
After analyzing the behavior of more than 50 species, Lorenz concluded that in heavily armed species, evolutionary selection also developed a strong innate morality — an instinctive ban on using all weapons in intra-species clashes, especially if the defeated demonstrates submission. On the contrary, weakly armed species have a weak innate morality, since the strong innate morality of such species is evolutionarily useless. Man is by nature a weakly armed species (the attacker could only scratch, not dangerously hit, bite or stifle, and the victim had enough opportunities to escape). With the invention of artificial weapons, man became the most armed species on Earth, and morality remained at the same level. (from the wiki about Conrad Lorenz)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №99900
 01.07.2014
The Ural. Tomorrow on July 1. Buying a potato:
I am: My dear! A fresh harvest?
P is yes. of Uzbekistan.
I (smelling more tightly in a thick autumn jacket): And our local isn’t?
When the seller roasted, he said that the fresh harvest of local potatoes in this weather will be next year, but he does not give a 100% guarantee.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99899
 01.07.2014
The larger the chest, the more tense the nerve endings.

A woman, nerve endings are not rubber to stretch) And their size does not depend on the size of the chest)))
Just women are not made under the copper, erogenous zones and sensitivity are different. Someone likes to bite and twist, someone gentle touches, someone is generally uncomfortable when the chest is touched.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №99898
 01.07.2014
How do you end up with such an end to the end?
– – – – – – – –
In ancient Rome, slaves were given enough for food and housing.
It is said that over two millennia, the principles of wage formation have virtually not changed.

But now the salary is not enough for that.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99897
 01.07.2014
Dialogue with friends about ammunition:
and.30-06? Not that they are not in the city. They are not in the shops, but one reserve companion - there is :)
I have little, very little.
(Remembering how many different ammunition you have in principle) I think a lot is for you how many tens of thousands? and :)
- I don't know) enough - it's for a couple of years, taking into account shooting once a month. You can do more of it, but there is nowhere to put it.)
and w. The men’s option "shoes are filled, but nothing to wear" :)

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №99896
 01.07.2014
xxxx: strange, but sometimes sleep and not sleep happen at the same time.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99895
 01.07.2014
xxx: my here burned... I woke up, so, and she gave me a similar to-o-om voice:
“Dear, I’ve seen an erotic dream about you!”
I’m doing love with a beautiful, tall muscle, he’s straight like Apollo. I feel good ".
xxx: "and here I see — you stand in the door and look!".
and xxx ((

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99894
 01.07.2014
I understand the author of the story No. 14637 on the debt-bags - to the depths of the soul insulted onanist, since he was so angry that women, you see, are outraged when in public (!) Instead, the man pulls out his "dignity" to the general view? Really, shit, what’s that about? Next time don’t be embarrassed – sit down and mock right in the subway car, and if any TP starts to get upset, explain to her that this is a Christian neurosis, and all people are animals in general, this time you are afraid of the natural physiological process of the body, then mock to a psychologist, he will explain to you that this turns out to be the norm!

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