The probability of being in a plane with two people carrying bombs is extremely low. I always take a bomb with me on the plane.

The Balboa:
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I saw a terrible picture today. A guy goes with a string motor trimmer through his shoulder, well, which the lawns are put in order, and instead of a string on the rod, a steel disk from the circular is installed!!! Our harsh...
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This is not our harsh, and you are not in the subject. for the "string mototrimers" there are special blades, just like the "circular disk" to polish the bushes and thin branches. With this stick, the trimmer turns into a cutter.

Lost communication with the satellite "Photon-M", reports the news. Interesting crew of the vessels: Drosophiles, Heccones, Tute Silk Springs in germ form, seeds of higher plants and various mushrooms. Can you imagine the surprise of green humans from some alpha centurion who scan the ship and decide that they are controlled by flies?
But what if the flies actually robbed our ship? Where can I sign up for the Star Landing?

What is the secret of the poem of Gogol "Dead Souls"?
YYY: In the oven.

A friend shares his experiences:
I came home very late yesterday, tired like a dog, the whole family is already asleep. I decided not to wake my wife and eat it and drink it myself. I got vodka from the refrigerator. I remembered that for such cases there is a "fries" in the freezer - a piece of frozen salt. I approach the freezer, my mouth is already filled with saliva in anticipation of fine-cut salts and to cold water, mmmm, pleasure. I open the door, go to the upper shelf and suddenly, milling, someone's tail falls on my mouth from there, furry and furry. An unpleasant discovery – I prove to be able to whistle! It was then, the woman who ran to the scream explained that because of the breeding mole she placed her nork coat in the envelope and pushed it into the freezer. Then I saw that I forgot to put the belt from the shirt into the box, was lazy to unpack the box, twisted the belt into the box and laid it next to me. She, you see, was lazy, and I still have an incurable psychological trauma. Dora is untouched!! and :-)

Local news on radio:
Three young people attached the VAZ-2106 with a wire to their car and pulled it to the nearest point of receipt of the debris.

- Shaurma as cheeseburgers do not buy, and in general who can eat shaurma and hamburgers, only a lighthearted person who does not care about his health. Back home came the boiler, one dressing.

- "Announcement" is it when the thistle in the borst of cyanide potassium was poured?

- I only cook borst myself) I don't know where you have such associations with aunt. I regret you.

I give you Rosenthal only out of sympathy for humanity.

They told me a parable about tea and teas.
(a type of justification for male polygamy, or cobbing)
waiting for an answer with a clever expression of the face, such as nothing to hide, against Confucius will not prevent
I say as is:
at our house in cups first pour the boiler from the boiler, then pour the boiler from the usual. If you pour only one cup of tea into the cup, the tea will be unflavored, or too strong, or water at all.

I broke the pattern.

My husband came back from fishing.
See also: Hey-ho! Where is the fish, Billy? The Blind Drink.
Yyy: There was a lot of fish, but catches she categorically refused.
It is bad when the fish becomes smarter than the fishermen.

And I will answer:
I will answer:

I don’t understand anything in this life. A few years ago, there were a bunch of samples on the subject of lonely bugs who photograph themselves. Everybody was roaring and roaring over them. From here, by the way, came the expression "forevere eloon". Selfies and niqabats are fashionable.

Everything is very simple: "You cannot change the situation, change the attitude to it" (c)
Maybe it’s even better if you don’t smoke.

You can’t prevent – take care!

Last Friday of July, the day of the system administrator, with a holiday, colleagues!

This is:

dmx: They say that if on the website of the U.S. State Department to hang a table of multiplication, then the next day on the First Channel will be released a large plot with the refutation of the published information.

Well, they also level the mountains in the Rostov region, and Belarus will be moved away from the sea, only if the State Department would refute it.

My sister gave me a pack of lentils. Reason: the husband asked not to cook black flour, he was afraid of it))

A concerned parent:
The daughter bubbles in the neighboring room: “Well, you are a goat... Well, shit... Well, I am you now... Die, hate, Breathe!”and "
It would seem, so what? Well, a girl was fighting with a guy and now a little unhappy. Only the “girl” is 26, and in fact she is killing another “boss” in another toy!
Someone is getting married, right? Cooking well, cute, long legs, brains in place, works... Change will definitely not be with anyone, except for the games of his damned...

Please go away from your daughter. At the age of 26, a person is able to arrange his own personal life, and if he does not need it, then he is still living well.
Such parents are angry, entering the lives of children with their "sister-style" concepts and ideals, imposing their morality and values.

The proposal is good...
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Offer of innovations in the official group of VKontakte:

Introduction of Russian language, spelling and spelling exams for persons under 15 years of age. And separate tests for the use of conspicuous, questionable and crying signs. Ideally, prohibit the use of the resource to persons under the age of 13. Or with the written permission of the parents. Share the horror with other users.
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But: to

This is:
From the discussion of the military committee’s medical committee, about how they take both healthy and sick:
XXX: I have a feeling.
XXX: Come to them.
XXX: to die
xxx: Then they will say "pff"
xxx: "This is the same actor"
xxx: "Just not to go to serve"
Bayani is a hundred year old.
Read Yaroslav Hashev.

Bad habits are the engine of trade.

The real story:

With a good acquaintance from the city of Queen, an old friend of her husband lives in Dnipropetrovsk.
Even in April of this year, in a telephone conversation, he did not call them otherwise than "Slaves of Putin with Kiselev instead of the brain".
And yesterday... he called them and asked, “Can’t you come to them, get a meal from the moon?”
It turns out he had an agenda in the army.
) )

If a girl in your presence behaves like a fool, it means she is in love with you.
Or a fool.

In such cases, the main thing is to deny the intent: a bear trap stood on a rat, poison in vodka for rubbing the radiculite, bricks on the roof for repairing the extractor... And the grandmother was not lucky with the lawyer (or the thieves were lucky with relatives)...
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In that case, I denied my involvement in a bottle of vodka and methanol.
They pulled themselves and fucked up with poor quality drinks. by Prokatilo.