The less curvature in the head, the straighter the road.

My colleague Denny spent a couple of days in Canada and crossed the border back in the Niagara Falls area. The border guard asked him about the purpose of his visit to Canada. Danny replied that he is a physicist and he is a postgraduate student at Waterloo University. Then the foreigner asked:
How many equations are in Maxwell's equations?
and four.
Are there differential equations?

The whole day I had peelings. The husband came in the evening, ate and said, “Don’t buy any more.”

40 years is the age you think of with horror at 20, and in 60 with jealousy. (I don’t remember it)

Explain to the incomprehensible: how are cartoons fundamentally different from movies? Only because the characters are not played by living people, but painted? But neither the plot nor the meaning depends on it... and the characters in both cases are fictional.

Mr. proud > Girls from work long reasoned that before traveling abroad it is worth "stress the languages".
Mr. proud > All were killed by the department coordinator, a young girl with legs and ears. She said that the "main phrase for Europe" she has already learned. She says, “Will you marry me?”

We had a boss who loved to think a lot. And it happened that if he thought about something, it was equivalent to what he told someone about that thought.We often had to include the abilities of telepathy and wisdom to guess what he meant. One day he came into our office and said:
There are two ways to solve this problem! The first and second! Theatre break – What is the second better than the first?

0 0 0

And he left the office expressing complete disappointment at our disadvantage.

The village. Chickens insist on rushing into the residential wagon. The dialogue:
The chicken looks at the door again.
See if the boots are not flying.
And the most persistent is waiting for him.
Maybe something is missing in the body.
1 is yes. A shoe in the head.

This

Alcohol and tobacco addicts on the march. What, breakout torment without a favorite grey?

There is a suspicion that if you are prohibited from forbidding everything and offending, you will begin to break yourself.

That’s why people confuse different and unrelated things like love, sex, breeding and living together. Because of this all trouble.

Saratovets drank two more days after a deadly injury to the stomach.
It was established that on April 24 in Rtychev, 47-year-old Elena Makarov drank alcohol in the company of a neighbor and a fellow resident. During the feast, the feelings of the woman towards her loved one were sharply cooled to hostility, and the accused hit the knight with a knife in the stomach. He died two days later near his home when the alcohol was over and the wounded man went for a new portion.

The main thing is not to stop (c)

In our country, we brought out wandering dogs very quickly in one simple way. All the households were chiped, and the wanderers were taken to shelters, where after some time they fell asleep. And all animal advocates are silent because they have imposed personal or financial responsibility for the dogs. That is, either take the animal to yourself or pay each month for its maintenance in the shelter. Those who desire to enter the paradise on the other side of the mountain are immediately relieved. Let us also introduce this to the opponents of abortion, persuaded a woman from abortion - to keep her child up to 18 years old. Immediately shut down, all white-collars and lovers go into someone else's vagina.

Pallascat

In the department there is a guy who is chanting in the orchestra on phag%g%ote. He learned to whistle at three hundred bodes, called the fax number of Telstra and established a connection with a fax.
A piss of humanity. This is a musician.

X: You don’t trust me?
Y: I don’t trust anyone, I’ve read the entire Game of Thrones cycle.

From FB:
Among the birthday gifts E. had a spinner. “Oh,” he said, “unexpectedly.” “Well,” I say, “I thought that every boy should have such a thing, it was nice to turn it in his hands and in general...” “A child,” says E., “every boy already has such a thing.” “Not every boy has a hole in his pocket,” I insulted. “That an adult man is already somehow spinning,” says E. educatively.

A woman in the car writes to her husband:
Dear, how could you have forgotten! I wanted to ask you specifically about it in advance, I just forgot to tell you!"
I am everything.

Memento_mori: I go in the evening - the men of pets walk out. One has a large, the other has a sofa-targeting breed. A small puppy rushed with a laugh on a big one. The owner pulls his big dog for the reason: "Let’s go. They are eating"

there there.

This is, of course, an innocent cartoon, but... Didn’t anyone think, but why only the quiet little Fifth had a gun at home?

You will ask who and why removed the donkey’s tail.

xxx: but these companies on the benches in the courtyards, which all the nights chew horses without interruption - why do they chew at all? Do they have some freshness or what?
YYY: I went to them once. They have nothing funny.
XXX: What is it?
YYYYYYYYYY...

>YYYY:
Something seems to me that in the original it was 60 feet in size. This is just 18 meters. Well, the director just confused the feet with the meters, and then thought "and so will go" :-)
% % % % % % % % % % % % %
As a child, he was read by Busner - "Captain Sorvi-head". There the author claims that the Mauser rifle (obviously meant the legendary 98k) beats at 4 with over a thousand meters, and the English Lee-Mattford - at 3 with a penny. At that time I was young and stupid and took it for a pure coin, but now it is clear that someone confused meters with feet here too.