bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100868
 23.07.2014
HH: I thought here...
xxx: by the number of nipples in a mammal you can find out the maximum number of children carried at the same time, set by the developer xD
How do you explain the triangle? x )
Tagged: bag
WOW :D

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №100867
 23.07.2014
The clever wife put the bed in the middle of the room, away from the walls, and now the husband does not know where to turn after sex.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100866
 23.07.2014
...
In general, the task is to make a link to time on the photo. The newspaper is gone.
and elementary. You go into any row, arrange a debush there, you are photographed, and the date will be placed, and arranged as appropriate. You do not dig. You can not even walk, there is a mobile service.
No, they can get a mouthpiece.
What does "can" mean? They must be filled! Carefully but strongly.
Well done, without any injury.
This is for gauges.
- qwertv, that you are an opera does not mean that everything should revolve around your work.
That is why?! to
And here my arguments ended.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №100865
 23.07.2014
XHH: We have to tie up with the compass. I go home today from change. And behind the window of the bus is the beauty - the sun is slightly baked, green, birds sing. I turned to the sun and covered my eyes so that under the eyelids there would be such a yellow light. Well... it was until the bus went into the shadow.

Oh, say, what would you think if it suddenly became cold, quiet, and before your eyes appeared something shining, monotonous, blue?

What is BSOD? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😉

HH: It is funny to you. I just had a heart attack :(

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №100864
 23.07.2014
Blur is a good band, they have one good song.
I thought, two...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №100863
 23.07.2014
to this
Probably in the life of every person comes a moment when you want to take hostages and demand a helicopter, 2 million dollars and a bottle of light beer.
and two.
Better than two"

My friend now serves in the Special Forces. They had exercises. They played for terrorists and, according to the script, took hostages in a local hospital. As a requirement he put forward "bring me coffee and sweets", and when he was refused to build his hysteria and began to swing the chairs. In the script it wasn’t and all oh%eely...but the coffee brought)))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100862
 23.07.2014
Originally, this site was a quotation of the runnet. And the quotes were not necessarily about it. They must have been funny.
Your K.O.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №100861
 23.07.2014
A special set for emergency situations has been put into sale.

The set includes:
Copper - 1 piece.
White shoes – 1 pair.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №100860
 23.07.2014
When decrypting the black boxes of the Boeing, the British will find everything they want, including calls for pilots to impose new sanctions on Russia.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100859
 23.07.2014
Maugrim: How did my TES3 game start? When creating the charm, I’m in the first room spinning a pad for 600septiems!!! He dropped it on the floor until they had time to run to me, I was forgiven, and the pad then picked up. A great simulator of kleptomanism.

Legaro: And now guess why every GG in the series starts as a prisoner.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100858
 23.07.2014
You get older is when you download music no longer with albums, but with discs.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100857
 23.07.2014

The xxx:
I take a bus with free wifi.
This is where technology has come.
Sorry not connected.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №100856
 23.07.2014
with 4Pda news about the change in iOS beta 4.

The emoji icon on the standard keyboard has been updated to a happier emoji.

Progress is not standing!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №100855
 23.07.2014
About "costume for predators"... once in a large company people began to boast of photos.
A couple boasts where their wife had an entire photo session. And on one photo, she is in some rubber-clad suit under a leopard, with ears there, makeup with a drawn cat’s nose and beard...
This is my wife predator.
The other one gets a 9X13 photo from his wallet and shows it. There his wife on the backdrop of trees with boiled onions and in such Aztec camouflage that it is necessary to look in order to see in addition to the face at least the contour.
That’s what I understand, the predator!

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №100854
 23.07.2014
Andrew: I have two monitors
Andrew: I read here and I write there
[14:42:01] Victor was Caesar
[14:42:37] Andrew: the salad
[14:42:51] Andrew: from the word anus
[14:42:52] Andrew: Oh
[14:42:55] Andrew: Sally
[14:43:03] Victor: how to fuck
[14:43:04] Victor: How is it?

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100853
 23.07.2014
48 million hryvnia is destroyed, then you can safely print another 48 million.

In the distant times, in the already non-existent country of the USSR, one dissident and a creative person managed to earn money. In those difficult years, a considerable amount of dollars was forced to emigrate to the SSP. There was no way to get the money in dollars. A representative of the embassy was invited and in his presence all that had been earned by hard work was solemnly burned in the oven. About which an official document was drawn up, certified by the aforementioned representative. The dissident flew out of the Soviet country with a book under his mouse and a piece of paper in his pocket. Upon arrival at the Federal Treasury, the entire amount indicated in the testament paper was received.
The Profit!

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100852
 23.07.2014
The most interesting puzzles "predators vs herbivorous" led by Sergey Suponov...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №100851
 23.07.2014
sander: caught on some porn site on his sixth IE (don't be surprised, tested, forgot to close), bug in the flash, fixed a long time ago: photo from the web without request for access.
Sander: and text, something like "send the SMS... enter the code... otherwise I will send it to all friends". My photo with a member.
Sander: Well I wrote them so - "send, but half of the revenue from the transitions on this photo is mine and, most importantly, tell me, please, who passed"

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №100850
 23.07.2014
I remembered :)
As a child I loved fairy tales. I am currently working as a carpenter. Therefore, the phrase spoken by the partner: " Add a inch", made me think for a long time))
------------
"You, Kashtanka, are opposed to man, like a carpenter opposed to a carpenter" (C)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100849
 23.07.2014
I warmed my lunch in the microwave, and the cover on the plate suddenly jumped up, as if the food had started to explode. As a result, in the plate one of the chicken hearts broke, pieces of carrots splashed through the walls of the microwave, the sense did not make a hole in space-time.
...
Lunch was barely warm.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna