bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №33448
 24.07.2010
A man in Darth Vader’s suit robbed a bank on Long Island. A bandit in the mask of the head of the Galactic Empire army, in a long black coat and camouflage pants entered the bank around 11:30 a.m. local time. Detention of Darth Vader by hot tracks failed. He escaped from the scene on a bicycle.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №33447
 24.07.2010
We deliver the electrical equipment to the customer, we approach the chief engineer,
We say so and so. Everything is ready, check, sign the document.
Is this your electric h-ja? No, I do not understand, it is let the energetic check, he has a man who knows, experienced, talk, he even saw the electron.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №33446
 24.07.2010
Neighbors are doing repairs

X: Fuck, what can you drill for six months?
y: he from the kitchen snoop makes - snooped the pasta app wall here and snooped

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №33445
 24.07.2010
Morning is wiser, but more painful.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №33444
 24.07.2010
I approach the market to a man who sells everything in a row, including knives.
I take a knife in my hand and say to the seller:
Judging by the length, thickness and availability of emphasis, the article attracts?
He takes a knife from my hand and says:
It is right brother. And now you have your fingerprints.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №33443
 24.07.2010
Governors need to have more children – then there will be more successful young entrepreneurs in Russia.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №33442
 24.07.2010
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Finally! I opened this damn green without swallowing the table and the fingers!
Normal people use markers.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH You are right.
When it was closed?
XH: Of course it is. The Law of the Soviet Green. The green should smear the man, it must and niipe!

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №33441
 24.07.2010
He tried to get a job as a courier, proudly stated to the employer about the "excellent knowledge of Moscow", agreed to an interview. The epic file crashed unnoticed: when I came to the place, I was lost, leaving the subway, and the employer was never found.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №33440
 24.07.2010
by Katya Katya:
At work, I was mocked in my nose all day!
by Katya Katya:
Support me if you
and Anton:
Your nose is so beautiful that people on the street, when they pass by, stumble and fall!! to
by Katya Katya:
Passive and Sun)
and Anton:
In fact, most of the time they are spotted on the nose.
by Katya Katya:
The Fucks

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №33439
 24.07.2010
Two natural people:
I want to embrace you.
111 Look at your face shrouded by hatred
222, but I was afraid.
Scarything

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №33438
 24.07.2010
<xxx> How did the former come back to you?It is :)
<xxx> asking forgiveness again?It is :)
<yyy> And FIG knows. Somehow it connected itself. You, you know, I thought, though he was a goat, but some kind of domestic goat.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №33437
 24.07.2010
She: Well, I can’t be perfect
He: Oh, you’re not perfect.
He: I can even say what exactly.
She: Well
You are not oval.
She: O.O

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №33436
 24.07.2010
XXX: In the Academic Town, a system of rapid health inspection is created
yyy: it was long ago invented in the military :D

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №33435
 24.07.2010
xxx: ha, NOD32 - Do not remove the threats found? Yes No
xxx: Do not delete or do not delete

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №33434
 24.07.2010
Lynn ))) (18:49) :
I’m checking my IQ.

A shirt??? and 18:51 :
It sounds like you have a diagnosis like this – Ai Kyu.
So I see:
Doctor: Bad news... you have an Ai Kyu.
Everyone crying together

or so
Doctor: - We had suspicions of Ai Kyu, but you can get rid of the test gave a negative result
DXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №33433
 24.07.2010
I dreamed of World War III today.
YYY: Who is the winner?
ZZZ: Has the Earth survived?
xxx: the internet was at the end, so everything is okay :D

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №33432
 24.07.2010
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: Mya...and still walking all day...
YYY: Try to change your clothes and give up to repair. You will ruin...
XXX: change clothes that is... I can do here 4 pairs of shoes... only they don’t fit... by color... *WALL*
YYY: Mya...
YYY: Women are different from men
YYY: They even have 4 pairs of shoes at work.
XXX : :D
YYY: and nothing to wear...
YYY: * ROFL*

[ + 103 - ] Comment quote №33431
 24.07.2010
I walked out of the store and decided to take a taxi. I look at the store standing, I approach and ask how much in the city? He responds 200 rubles (if you call through the service 150). I say for 170? He replied with refusal. I picked up the number that was written on the car and called to the store, I was immediately told which car, go out. I sit down to him in the car smiling telling the address and he was driving all the way with an unhappy face :)

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №33430
 24.07.2010
It was a long time ago when I was a student. There was a cozy courtyard near our university, where after a couple we were constantly going to drink beer. There was one house in this courtyard, on the first floor of which there was a balcony. In the house on the second floor, carefully above the balcony, lived a cat.
So here. Spring, beauty, we stand, we drink beer, we communicate. And suddenly we notice the picture: on the ground near the balcony clutches cats. One of them is sitting in a waiting position on the roof of the balcony. After a while, another cat pops out of the window and leaves. The one who waited, jumped out the window, and the next one came in his place. Everything goes so organized...
This is a conveyor, was it shit?

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №33429
 24.07.2010
First, what do you do?
I watched the telecast...
What about on TV?
She: Yes, I don’t care what they show, that television is so huge that even advertising is interesting to watch...

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