bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116740
 31.07.2015
Husband to wife...
“You know, dear, I’m now earning a decent money and I can hold another woman... what do you think about it?
It is wonderful! I call my mother, let her live with us.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116739
 31.07.2015
Someone told you that it’s terrible when a man sleeps with another woman.
(A lot of text)
____________
You wrote it all so funny that it is not clear whether you consider betrayal to be the reason for divorce or not.
But any normal person thinks that yes is a respectable reason. You know why? Because it is clear to anyone that sex is not just a stupid biological need, but an act of mutual trust, tenderness and love. If a man is sick while his wife recovers after childbirth, no one cancelled masturbation.
Of course, you can decide not to pay attention to betrayal (or forgive, hz), for financial reasons or anything else, but you should not impose this decision as the only true to everyone around. Betrayal is terrible. Betrayal is unusual. Cut on your nose.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №116738
 31.07.2015
My sp is enough to hold myself and the child modestly enough. My husband pays 5 thousand for a bank account in a bank branch, where I am not very comfortable to drive. In a year with a little there accumulated the amount I took and paid for a cheap burning tour to Turkey. The daughter was delighted that she would go to the sea for the first time, she told about this to her father, unmistakably reporting about the book and alimony. What started here!
At first, my ex spoke to me on the phone and personally. Then his mother called and began to explain that her son could not even afford to get married because "who needs him with alimony." Then his sister told me about her child who needed money for treatment. By the way, this child has a father and a father-in-law, and the sister herself earns no less than me. Then, completely by chance, his friend’s wife came to visit me and told me how hard my ex is living. Is that what it was?
Did I do something terrible? I remember, before that, I kept the child for my money for a whole year, and spent much more than 5 thousand a month on it. So don’t think I’ll just enjoy his money. I just made storage in a convenient way for me, didn’t I?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116737
 31.07.2015
It is strange:
-----------
The respected:

I have my salary plus alimony enough, conditionally speaking, for bread with oil for us and the child and even for meat sometimes remains. Former husband's salary minus alimony is only enough for bread and tea.
Without food for meat, I might not have had enough, but he could afford to have oil for bread. Do you seriously think that I should refuse the baby’s meat so that my ex stops blaming me for eating at his expense?

A small question.
Tell me, and the meat only eats the child or do you enjoy the meat that is purchased for food with him?
-------
Something like...to the pain of a dull and meaningless question, so much that from some of his fellow men, it remains only to shrink.
These people take themselves seriously as men.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №116736
 31.07.2015
I went to a friend, Satanist. There is a small icon on the window. What is an icon?
XXX: This Holy Anti-Muchi
Meaning of Meaning?
XHH: Well, he takes the icon and bats her straight to the fat flies.
It turns out he has been pressing her flies for 15 years!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116735
 31.07.2015
This is how we do it or not do it.
What question is it? Working of course! First you need to understand what you are doing there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116734
 31.07.2015
This is:
XXX: I thought
Terminator is like Kenny
He is killed in every movie, but he appears again.

They killed the Terminator.
Conflict

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116733
 31.07.2015
At work, another caller called, offering other services. In order to reduce the time of communication, asked to send a commercial offer to me by email. Soon there came a letter entitled "the exchange of data".
I wrote in response- "I have 10 dan and a black belt on ulcers. What can you offer me for exchange?"
Looking forward to what they will offer...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №116732
 31.07.2015
I recently moved to a new apartment. Prices are abuan, so it was possible to remove next to the job, but a crawl-hunting hotel (only a room, no kitchen). I only come home to spend the night. The whole room is covered. I came from an internet provider man to set up my connection, went in and that’s all. There is no place for him to step right-left. Just standing occupies all the free space. "How you have everything compact here", he says."So if you are placed, you will not have to get used to the camera")))))

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №116731
 31.07.2015
Stop it!! Please stop! I have already asked for your food!! Go to forums, go to chats, exchange addresses and chase pigeons with letters!!! But not here!!! to
Where is the old good humor about it-shnickers?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116730
 31.07.2015
The child was sent to a summer camp. It sounds all in tears - at night they are forced to lie with their eyes closed. We advise a daughter who hasn’t slept at lunch since kindergarten to read a book in bed. The tube is taken away by an outraged teacher, explaining that first the children will begin to read books at night, and then other violations will be violated. “Ugu, and there, don’t let God, and the thoughts in my head will go,” adds my husband sadly.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116729
 31.07.2015
Oh thieves! Here is the reserve! One throw – three shit! Three! Absolutely scary, tons of food... paradise for trolls!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116728
 31.07.2015
The head of the neighboring department cries out to our general head of management in order to find out who to write a report on Saturday:
Do you want to release someone from that department?
We did not resist:
Get rid of Kraken!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116727
 31.07.2015
You regularly have to say that you’ve been messing up with your alimony, your perfect husbands, and the perfect girls you don’t need? We are waiting for you in the forums. Stop discussing your problems on a humorous resource.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116726
 31.07.2015
Today’s kids don’t...
YYY: It is yes. Do you remember what chemistry laboratories we had at school?
I remember, I remember, I still have no scar.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116725
 31.07.2015
How to recognize a fool in the early stages of a relationship? Ask more frequently his opinion on various controversial topics, such as local clashes, about food, about socks, about relationships with "ex". I think you will make your own conclusions without throwing your finger on a particular individual.

[ + 32 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116724
 31.07.2015
I'll tell you more - and in Europe, and in the United States, everything is not as sugary as you would like, only taxes and insurance costs. Full of acquaintances, travelling around the world, paradise life, to my deepest regret, not found anywhere.
– – – – –
What is Paradise Life? My parents took me to Germany at the age of 13 and 10. I am an MBA with a starting salary of €68,000, my brother, a doctor of science, is now working on an invitation in London and earns as much as I never dreamed of. But these are the side effects of the opportunities that appeared here, in the "Fatherland" it would not be real. But! Much more important is that we live peacefully, nobody is afraid of the police, nobody worries about a future that cannot collapse at any moment, free movement around the world and even the opportunity to climb into hot regions, knowing that behind the back is a country that will do everything to pull you out (this is abstract from the idiotism of such outlets and what you will then be charged). No arbitrariness of officials, etc., and no everyday hatred and hatred on the streets, in shops, and in everyday life. It is not about heaven. No one expects that in the West you can sit on your ass, do not do the nibble, and everything will fall from the sky. Only here is more opportunity and stability. Even if you get poisoned, it won’t change.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №116723
 31.07.2015
The theme of the forum "Giving gifts to a girlfriend(ku)".
Nastasja: Welcome or not? What do you do with them: bring home, store at work, or throw away?
The gifts from the mistress I give to the wife and she passes to the lover. We don’t need a stranger in the house.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116722
 30.07.2015
of course
and----
The police are only afraid of the idiots.
violators of the law. Why are they afraid of her? there
The same people. If, for example, you do not try
Send them a mate or heat them up.
It’s hard, and not doing anything.
Unlawful – no reason to fear
No is. <shit> This is not heaven, but fools
The scars you have listed,
No is.
and----
My non-drinking husband, until we bought a car, regularly spent the night in a monkey's car because he fell asleep in the electric car after a heavy shift. Just wake up a man so that he doesn’t sleep his station? No, he has too suspicious beard and unshelled spikes in his ears, a good trophy. It was especially nice when I was called and said with a sweet voice that he was staying in the area, that everything was fine, he just slept, and the return train only in the morning. And in the morning he came with bleaches on his wrists and broken glasses. Young people were stupid, they were terrible to complain. Now, of course, FIG would have touched him.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116721
 30.07.2015
Police Department in the Cultural Capital.

So, guys, what else "hanging" on the grandmother’s shoe?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna