bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №50649
 22.07.2011
She: by the way, analgin in our free sale, and in America it belongs to the prohibited drugs...
He: I would also ban a drug called the “anal gin.” Not much...

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №50648
 22.07.2011
Sex with me for you is just a reason to wash.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №50647
 22.07.2011
Status is
I have two cats, now I have two cats.

Marishka Chrapikina
How many rounds did you put on the wash? ?

Bo Yati Grrrr
You are that, without rinse, or stretch) And at 30 degrees, otherwise the hair can sit.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №50646
 22.07.2011

I like a lot of things that men like.
For example?
- Well Russian billiards, fast ride... to be on top...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №50645
 22.07.2011
IvanovDrone > a friend recently travelled to Thailand.. they were there with a prostitute.
IvanovDrone > here is the corfan her fucking (and he is fat) she takes him for the chest and says "Ladyboy.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №50644
 22.07.2011
You look cute in your shirt.
WOW: thank you
Nowadays, almost everyone is in sweaters, isn’t it a flashmob?
and flashmob. It is called "+34"

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50643
 22.07.2011
by Fake:

xxx: The epic file occurred at work today) server firewall blocked the server))
yyy: Bggg) Is that so?
xxx: Yeah fucking sent the intern to configure the internet..) Now you can't fix, the server has a whole consilium is there) No 1c database reserve, all the info is there.
yyy: It’s time to fall into despair))
xxx: The director has been looking at the wall for 25 minutes and is somehow suspiciously unmoving))

First, think about the expression "the server firewall has blocked the server".
Secondly, what idiot can send a trainee to work alone on a combat service?
Third, if backups are not made, then the director can be recommended to shoot the entire IT department to the damn mother.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №50642
 22.07.2011
yyy: I live in a two-storey brick house, which was built in the 1940s by prisoners of war Germans, when the glass packs were put, the workers were shouting that the fox drill did not take the brick, eventually drilled by a perforator
YYY: At last the brick fell :D
XXX from the builder.
YYY :D

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №50641
 22.07.2011
From the face of Russian pillows: stop shaking and crying in us! Do it to each other!

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №50640
 22.07.2011
Pearls of our 60-year-old aunt (T) ITO-shnits (Inform.tech. The Department):

T: Peter Ivanovich, can I go to your computer?
P. and: O_O

Alexey, can I take you?
A: In any case! 8) is
T: Oh Alexey, but I kept you for OTHER
A: O_O

T: Igor we go to the server room, I will show you one of my little stuff, or you will hang it all.
and O_O

[ + 96 - ] Comment quote №50639
 22.07.2011
My sister taught a puppy. Fuck you both!

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №50638
 22.07.2011
I remember at the first course on the world economy we were asked what universities we know, everyone started listing Oxford, Cambridge, and here from the back of the box is quietly so: Hogwarts. Only two people laughed.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №50637
 22.07.2011
A fool does not seem to prove that he is smart. He will try to prove that there are fools around.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №50636
 22.07.2011
The Mysterious Island
There was a friendly Soviet family: Dad, Mom and a little girl.
Sasha (my future wife)
And they were lucky with the trials of three generations to gather a large (even by those reading times) library.
One evening, a neighbor — a mayor of the police — knocked on the door and tearfully asked for a couple of three books a week for his bullying. In school, they asked for extra-class reading.
and Dad:
What books are these?
The neighbor turned a notepad, running through his eyes:
“Yes, Tolstoy is... Pushkin, thank God, and Gogol in the hell.
This is Robinson Crusoe, The Mysterious Island.
The Last of the Mogicans and Daniel Defoe... No, Daniel Defoe, it’s from
Robinson Crusoe... How, neighbor, will you make money?
and Dad:
Yes, we have these three, I’ll bring them now. Not for a week, but for
A month, but don’t play.
The Mente:
You are insulting! We don’t know each other for the first time, I’m always responsible for my words.
an officer of the militia. In a month, or maybe even sooner, I’ll be back.
of integrity. Thank you, Wild has done it.

A week passed, the beaten neighbor returned two books and, trying not to look in the eyes, rushed to the service.
One day, the father saw a neighbor in the courtyard gathered a bunch of deadly frightened multi-caliber boys, spoke to them as murderers and threatened colony. A few mentions stood around, they quietly whispered at the boys:
“Don’t turn with the bars, but listen to what the Comrade Major tells you.”
and Dad:
Good neighbor, what happened?
Major is confused:
I welcome. Ordinary prevention...
A month has passed and the day has come when the last book has returned. Dad and mom have already started to discuss: when should it be transparent to hint to the neighbor about returning the book?
That same evening, the mayor appeared himself – solemn, sad and sober.
He cried for a long time, did not give up the tea, and then sadly said:
Sorry, I know it’s been a month now, but
It happened that my shadow, a book was wrapped in the yard. He read stupidly.
The "Mysterious Island" on the hips, then left it for a few minutes
One of them ran for ice cream and ran for ice cream. Gaddafi called
My mother came home and the book was stolen. I even found out who stole and
Who gave it, but then, through two figures, the chain broke.
But don’t worry, I’ll buy you the same.
Where would you buy it if it didn’t even exist in the library? and in
In the bookstore, it is not sold.
The Mente:
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I will return. Wear clothes and
Tomorrow I will go to the book-interpretation, there with speculators, even the Bible,
Even if you could buy shit, there would be money.

The happy neighbor returned the next day and brought a book tightly wrapped in a gray envelope paper and securely wrapped with a spade. On paper hand-made pencil inscription: “The Mysterious Island”
While the satisfied owner was struggling to unfold his newly obtained book, the major said:
These book speculators are so jokeful, although there are such babies.
You can imagine, I ask one: “How many
A mysterious island? He was frightened and pointed to another.
I asked, “Are you not from the police?” “No, I say, you went crazy, I
Myths of books do not read.
Another bearded man approached, and they didn’t talk about anything, and eventually he asked, “Are you sure you need the Mysterious Island?”
I was finally angry and the bearded realized that I could already explode, sent me to the trees, I went in, there the grandmother of God asks, "What did you want? “The Mysterious Island,” I say, “What else!? to
The grandmother says, “Twenty-five rubles and not a penny less.”
Do you imagine? I thought ten, well fifteen, but there is nowhere to go, the debt needs to be given, the fourth one, the grandmother took and said, "I will go now, and you see that cardboard box, under it and you will take."
Just like spies.
The father turned out the packaging, inside was a thick book in a hard cloth, on the root the inscription "Jules Verne. The Mysterious Island »
Here, the book took its legitimate place on the book shelf, the owner drank a drink of cognac with his neighbor, and long after midnight they said goodbye very happy to each other.
And only the next day, the father decided to polish the book, he was tormented by vague doubts, as if it was much thicker than the old one, and the conspiracy, which the major told, did not come out of his head...
I opened, and all the pages are printed on a writing machine, and also through a copier.
It turned out that The Mysterious Island is not a book by Jules Verne, but a code phrase of a narrow circle of people devoted to a dangerous mystery.
So in 1976, my wife’s parents had their own.
The Gulag archipelago.

[ + 45 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50635
 22.07.2011
Yesterday you came from the corporation, I broke you, I told you a hundred compliments, I listened patiently, who told whom what, how stupid this guy was.
Nelly Stepanovna, I danced your favorite song with you three times.
Criminal Chtiv, twice made you a massage, opened your champagne, somehow put you to sleep, smoothed your hair...
Today I came from the corporation: - long discussions, why it is so late and why wearing a shirt, then a shirt
“Balu and go on, drunk cattle, I don’t talk to you.
That is equality!!! to

[ + 77 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50634
 22.07.2011
Weak men make lovers.
Strong men are strong families.

Honestly, I had to read such things.
There is something like a bull has a cow, a lion has a lion.
Harre justifies his murder.A normal man is a woman!Who can eat and cook, and raise children, and a smart woman in sex.And such deserves flowers without a reason, and listen to her problems, and sit next to her holding her hand when she has increased pressure, and the absence of mistresses.
Do you want a man to have a mistress?“Follow yourself, cow!” or blatantly blatantly blatantly blatantly blatantly blatantly blatantly blatantly blatantly blatantly blatantly.
You are fucking and fucking.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №50633
 22.07.2011
The head of the IT department sends an employee to the branch - to fix small malfunctions (we rarely have them).
1st You will go to the 203th office - there the Petrova phone does not work.
2nd You go in the 205th - there the network brakes
Three You go in at 219, there at the window.

Comments by admin: "The Employee Doeth?"


[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №50632
 22.07.2011
I read the news here: as always, everywhere theft, corruption, corruption. And I thought "It was time to repeat the Great October". He closed the book, looked at the clock, and there "19:17". It is time.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №50631
 22.07.2011
Anathedaeophobia is an obsessive fear that somewhere in the world there is a duck watching you.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №50630
 22.07.2011
Talking to a girl on the phone
Q: What station do you live at?
D: I will not say.
I : Why?
Q: Will you come and steal me?
I: You want that!
But you will not steal! and :(

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