I was on a taxi yesterday.
Summer is like a woman.
I: Why is this?
T: Dick dynamites all the time: then busy with something...
I: That cyclone has...

XX: When I cross the lightforest, I will mentally compete with other passers who will advance to the opposite side.
Will you win?
XX: Always
XX: but today saw a second similar dude
XXX: You would see his face when we race across the road!

People with high intelligence are atheists only in youth, and with age, when wisdom is imposed on intelligence.
YYY: Psychiatrists call it differently: old age marasma.

DR.C: Explain why all these ratings of the richest officials are made on the basis of their own declarations? After all, the declaration indicates only what it is not at all possible to hide / rewrite to the wife or husband. So it turns out that it is just the ratings of the most lazy fools who were unable or did not want to normally spit off the spit bubble.

I read this whole story about friends and other frics and it really becomes scary that people with such an idea of life walk next to me.
I'm glad I haven't met such people yet.

My love lives on the 25th floor. The elevator does not work. You come and you don’t want anything anymore.

Comments to the article that scientists recorded animation in the DNA of a living organism in digital form:
XXX: It is terrible to live. He kissed a girl and became infected with a encryptor.
YYY: And then you’ll see the inscription sending out bitcoins within 48 hours, otherwise the kidneys will turn off.

Growth: In the Central Market walked, walked, watched all kinds of engines and railroads. They said: "boy, what to suggest", "young man, what to help". As soon as he took the electric motor into his hands, it immediately became: "Bring the resistors, here a man buys the engine!" "man, can you a bag?"
The electric motor makes you a man.

I watched a movie, "Time to Kill", there was one hero, a lawyer, I remembered his conversation with an assistant. (Not literally, but very close to the essence)
The Assistant says:
I look at you and your happy family, how are you doing it? I’ve been married three times and women always leave me.
What the lawyer answers:
My secret is simple: you want happiness for yourself and I want it for them.

XXX: You can get blinking out of sliced milk!
YYY: Half a year of life with a daily batch of clothes and you will not enter any door.

Zzzz: The truth in your words!
The husband so started a healthy lifestyle, cheese among other things purchased...
Every weekend I checked the expiration date of the cheese he had not eaten for a week and made cheese biscuits or cake. A month later, the first results appeared. In my waist.and (

4GJ: You start to doubt this world when you notice that your fictional friends are helping you more than your real relatives.

Wife and husband play:
You will have a romantic evening and sex with a beautiful lady.
The husband:
Are you going on a business trip?

One of my friends, a chess player, was so justified after an insulting loss as a result of being in the best position: If I never make a mistake, rumors about my divine origin would go on, which is undesirable.

One day I replicated literally this argument in a conversation with AG, bursting into some formula. He replied, “I think you are insured.

Yes to! If you decide to throw out the sewing of the magazines "Science and Life" for the years 1968-1981, we do not advise you to first unravel the famous crosswords with fragments, otherwise you will never throw out these magazines!

There have recently been cases. I was going to go to the neighboring town (about 90 km) by electric car, I will go into the car visually running the options of landing, the benefit of the people is not much - I take a place, I lay things down and wait for departure. To my right sit two ladies aged 15-16 and throw their feet in shoes on the opposite seat. Seeing this situation, I make a comment, I would have reasoned at least. In response to zero emotions, I raise my voice a little - the same reaction, i.e. no one. A neighbor sitting next to me (interested in my monologue) does the following ---->>: gets the phone, and with the words, "Let's then take a photo for the memory of the social network. The front camera is turned in their direction. It had to be seen, hearing loss immediately passed and the girls at the speed of the comet

They left the car (it took them 5 seconds). By the way, she just turned the phone to their side without even removing the lock. I am sure of all 100 - a former woman!

I had a friend like that at school. We lived three minutes walk from each other, usually met in the middle of the pharmacy. I walk a little more than a minute, he walk a little more than a minute. Only that fool was always late. and constantly. And not for 5-10 minutes, and sometimes for 30-40-50 minutes. I had a couple of times so achewed, sometimes quarreled, sometimes left, then simply took the habit of coming half an hour later and didn't guess.



One day I went to Crimea with my family. I told him several times that I was leaving. I have forgotten that, axiomatically. We are in Crimea already, here he calls me and calls me to walk. I take to agree. Half an hour later, I call him, and I say to him that he is tired of being late. After another 10 minutes he calls and says that in the place, say, where I am. I say to wait now, I have gone home, now I will come back. During some other 30 minutes he called me and asked where I was, I was constantly saying that I was going and let him wait a minute, I am waiting for him all the time. After another 10-15 minutes he came to my house, where my grandmother told him that I had left the Crimea yesterday. Surprisingly, after that he stopped being late!

Someone is going to the passageway, because the working day is over. She approaches the cabin, where the evil aunt stands and so mysteriously in her ear says:

- Tatiana Ivanovna, I need someone to take out tomorrow... So that there are no problems, what will be more suitable for you – chocolate or a box of candy?

To what this aunt and her speech responds, blotting her eyes:

Maybe a box of candy.

The man went out and went home to himself. The next day, a man rushing to the cabin after the end of the working day sees the smiling aunt he had agreed with yesterday. The closer he approached the cabin, the more and more the smile of his aunt became (larger, wider). And suddenly a wicked whisper comes out of the mouth of this aunt:

And put your hands behind your head in the pool!

The guard came and let the man feel. Shakes, touches, almost split and realize that the man has nothing. And then the man approaches this aunt and gently says to her:

Tatiana Ivanovna, you are a fool. I took it all yesterday...

One of my acquaintances complexed because of her small chest. She thought that if her breasts were bigger, the boys would turn to her (to a acquaintance!) attention, she would be more confident in herself, more sociable, and she would have a better personal life. A new complex appeared: now she was not at ease by the thought that the guys in her are attracted not by her personality, but by her breasts. I was thinking about getting it all back...

Unfortunately, the letters cannot convey how much I feel.and c)

Yeehoo is:
And I was a rapper and also picked up puzzles from skins and metalwork, but the puzzles were warm lamps, chopsticks and norms, no one jumped on the head... and now...