bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143029
 14.07.2017
Olka: I came home yesterday: the toys are folded in containers, the containers are placed evenly, and they are wiped out of dust, there is no dust on the book shelves, and there are no dirty socks in 39 or 43 sizes.
Cleaning on the working tables.
And such exemplary smiling children.
Olka: And even this did not lead me to the legitimate question: why would it be?
Olka: In short, Mom’s favourite snack
Olka: and the bike trainer broke the control... by a fist

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143028
 14.07.2017
Remember the classic. Chatzky (the smartest character in his history, by the way)

By the way, Gryboedov said that in his play there are exactly 23 fools, that is, ALL.
And Chatsky is only a step above the others.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143027
 14.07.2017
If I shave - the passport is asked in the shops.

If I do not breathe, the passport is asked by the police.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143026
 14.07.2017
If for you, as a minor, dates are cafes and condoms, then I’m afraid to upset you, adults don’t need either. They met, understood each other and met. And it doesn’t matter the level of income and nothing matters at all. Except for mutual attraction.

These are the teenagers you have described. Adults are aware of sexual diseases, and experience has already taught them to take their own health seriously. And in the cafes and restaurants and other places go, not for the sake of potts, but just delicious to eat and drink before other pleasures, the more income allows. And they most often do not stress each other, because they have experienced a lot for a long time, and they can all be sufficiently careful and look at each other for years.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143025
 14.07.2017
My wife has been driving for more than 7 years, but only today I revealed to her the secret that a white plaque with the name of the settlement means a speed limit of 60 km/h. To my question "How did you surrender the rights?" she replied relentlessly "I remembered the pictures and the answers". It is terrible to drive on the roads, gentlemen.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143024
 14.07.2017
tdd

Only for me it is not "convince me", but "Hi with you, since it is so important to you - I will make a company for you".

Everything you declare a female jump is equally present in you. But you give it another name, another argument. That is to say, you wept out of a sense of solidarity, and the grandmother gave because she couldn’t break. And I also know a lot of guys who WANT TO DRINK, but out of some incentive (OZH, promised) want it not to be their decision with a firm “yes” but a forced decision in favor of other interests. Do you think you are responsible and beautiful? Fuck you, you’re just wretched.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №143023
 14.07.2017
There is a table in the bar. There is another table at the table. The first one asks: "Can I JOIN you?". And the second answer is "JOIN RIGHT".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143022
 14.07.2017
Still right in childhood decided that the relationship-hunky and in the present 30 not even kissed once.

If you had decided as a child to become an astronaut and now write from the orbit, you could be proud of this.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143021
 14.07.2017
"Narcotics advise citizens to wear bright clothes and have more fun"

And also laughing more and eating after marijuana.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143020
 14.07.2017
As long as you wait for your hour, the years go by.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143019
 14.07.2017
For the second week in Canada (and the United States) the name of Omar Khadr does not appear in the newspapers. I repeat, because the story is very indicative.

Omar is an Afghan, born in Canada. His father-in-law, like hundreds of thousands of other “refugees,” was accepted in the country of a clerical government with open arms. As it turned out, he lived on benefits, and was mainly engaged in organizing the fight against the unbelievers. Those who lived and paid for it. And then, having obtained citizenship, the family washed back, to the rich and free Afghanistan. Here is retreat. Such pseudo citizens, which, according to different estimates, thousands of 400. They live mainly in the Middle East and India. They have been there for decades, cheering fun with taxes and treatments, but when they are taken care of, they instantly get their legacy passports and flee, confused in chairs, to the embassies to rescue. They are being saved, fucking!

So, when Omarchik hit 15 (and it was 2002), the Americans entered Afghanistan (well they didn’t go in?). The Hadrov family stood up to fight the invaders (I will not say anything here). Omar participated in the battle, and a grenade killed one and blinded another American. He himself was caught. “The Communists caught a boy, dragged him into the KGB; confess, who gave you the book, the guide to the underground struggle?”
The pioneer-hero immediately began to squeeze rights about Canadian citizenship. The Americans were not confused, and the boy was imprisoned in Guantanamo. It was in Canada. The same, instead of depriving the idiot of citizenship for terrorism, just pretended that everything was okay.
Omar has been there for 10 years. The newspapers write that these were years of torture, hunger and humiliation. I do not know. But in the pictures he looks like a fitness instructor.
Missing the details, I will say that he was then transferred to Canada, where... and released a year later.

The Canadian government has officially apologized. And will pay the unfortunate orphan ten and a half million dollars. Actually everything.
and yes. The widow of the sergeant killed by Omar, as well as the soldier blinded by him, try to initiate counter-claims. Canadian veterans are deaf. But who, fucking, cares about these shortcomings. The important thing is that justice triumphs, right?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №143018
 14.07.2017
Has it been raining for a long time?
I don’t know, I’m only six years old.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143017
 14.07.2017
Give a cat a fish and he will be full for a while.
Teach the cat to catch fish, and this dull red face will come to you every day and knit, because now he knows for sure that you have fish!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143016
 14.07.2017
This is not age, but a state of mind.
Aunt, this is a cashier.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143015
 14.07.2017
The implementation of the “Jarova Law” was proposed to be carried out at the expense of subscribers

We spy on you and violate your rights at your own expense. This is Russia, my child.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143014
 14.07.2017
The future has arrived. Somewhere in New Mexico, a macho beat his wife, saying, “I won’t let you call the police.” And one of the home robots perceived the last two words as orders, and then called.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143013
 13.07.2017
Girls, you’ve gotten each other scared! Guys are basically adequate or just don’t want problems with the law. They will walk around, argue, but not rape.
Stop setting girls up in advance for what you need to give out of fear" and then "will be worse"!
Violence is the same extreme measure for a person as murder or robbery. It must be answered equally harshly, understanding that the rapist is frostbite, the moral rejection of society and not one of them!
There are hopeless situations. In such cases, the victim of rape is as helpless as the victim of murder and robbery.
But usually the willingness to hit is enough for the too persistent type to retreat. The leg in the abdomen also suffices most of the cockroaches. Experience is.
If there is violence in your surroundings, you need to hang out. From the surroundings, the city, the country! Because, no one has the right to commit violent acts of any nature regardless of the gender of the victim and the offender!
The more you fear the perpetrators, the more power you give not only to the physical but also to the mental perpetrators, who do not need to use force. It is enough to threaten.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143012
 13.07.2017
It is impossible to break up, because the winter and the city, the stoves in the house were not used, the tapk dirty unhygienically, the wire painfully, the line is not smooth, the green carpet blaster is ridiculous... In short, when I began to suggest my options, we realized that nothing from this initiative would work. So I remained unbeaten, so they roared like two idiots.

Your uncle is good. He knew from the very beginning that nothing would come out of this idea, and that it was better (and more effective) to turn punishment into a joke than to really beat.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №143011
 13.07.2017
No, the boss must be bisexual in order to have all his subordinates equally.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №143010
 13.07.2017
Wap, wrapped in a newspaper
No replacement for a cigarette.

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