to this:
He is not strong in physics, so...
He is not strong in physics either. But...

“You are at the lowest level of development,” Philip cried out.
Philippovich, you are still just forming, weak mentally.
All your actions are purely animal, and you are in the presence of two people.
With university education you allow yourself with complete disconnect.
It is intolerable to give some cosmic scale and cosmic advice.
@M. Bulgakov "The Dog Heart"

I tried to paint while on a car trip through Altai as a passenger. "Russian roads - feel like a seismographer"

When a motorcyclist is gasping on a city crossroads, somewhere, behind the wall, a neighbor with a perforator is crying and the grandmother's television is nervously smoking in the side.

Married men live longer because they have not yet invented more sophisticated torture in hell.

A remarkable announcement about the sale of the Iron Horse Gaz 3110 (style and spelling of the original) was noticed in Avito.

I sell my wolf. The purchase, frankly, is questionable, but the price is purely symbolic. 30 thousand rubles and your cruiser! Year of issue 2005, state of protest. The distance is indicated on the board as 72000, but under this it is worth understanding 172000. To be honest, it’s 27000. I still don’t understand how she was able to travel such a distance... Most importantly, the machine is on the move! There are no problems in the city (except that without air conditioning in the summer it feels like a car is burning). Many foreigners (especially those who do not suspect that they are participating in the competition) are crashing from the light. It’s normal on the road too. What speed you will be able to develop on it depends only on your instinct of self-preservation. Personally, in those rare times when I pushed it up to 180, I caught myself on the fact that I don’t blink, don’t move and hardly breathe. At the left door there is a rotten area from which polyethylene runs. It is very helpful to detect the car on large parking lots and gives the beast a unique individuality. On the body - there are some areas that can be considered normal. The interior decoration of the cabin is made by someone's incomprehensible desire using linoleum. You will have to live with this. Deep in the driver's seat there is some very sharp detail, which sometimes painfully fits into the back. I never understood what detail it was, why it was there and how it could be at all. There is a button to turn on the air conditioner, this is the only detail of the air conditioner that has survived to our days. There is also an on-board computer, I suspect it is its artificial intelligence (and not you) that decides when the car starts and when to stung. The furnace – the flame of Sauron – works in the winter so mom doesn’t burn. But unfortunately, the hot air is poisoning from below, and in the summer, when the stove is off, if you catch more than 110 on the track in sandals, it burns the fingers on the right foot heavily. So in the summer on the right foot is better to wear shoes... In the car for the last month and a half I have not smoked. I smoked a lot before. But not more than the previous owner and his numerous friends - at the same time, all together, in the winter, with tightly closed glasses. The uncharacteristic grey ceiling will not allow this to be hidden. Very large plus-dusting is absent, it releases a rift like from the bottom! In this regard, even brave cyclists rush from fear and stay away from you, which in turn provides a comfortable ride. One of the most important advantages of this car is that it is categorically not wanted to stop the DPS inspector. And even when you ride in front of them with untouched belts and off nearby lights – they only lead you with a compassionate look... What is the mystery, I never understood.

As the latest events showed, the previous ones were better.

Excerpt from the textbook:
From time to time, the system administrator has to be a consultant.
on business processes, corporate predicator, guard, developer
program, electrical engineer, economist, psychiatrist, telepath
Even a bartender.

Sliva_rzn: I love Ryazan...In the first three days there was no hot water at home. Then the gas was turned off for a day, and then electricity. Apocalypse is short. On Saturday, everyone was finally turned on again, but from BOTH the cranes now comes water of such a temperature as if straight from the boilers underneath. Probably, so the Jekovs repay the missed, their guilt to smooth up. Gas was not allowed into the water pipeline.

This site is not to post humor, it is to you on anecdote.ru, this site is to post funny quotes from chats and forums, preferably IT focused.
– – – – –
I will correct: not preferably, but initially.

by Habr

You underestimate our dirt.

And already made a spray for clothes that repel dirt,
You can use the same camera.

By the way, the option. And it would not bother to process the whole car.

Then throw it with a lifting crane into the dirt pool.
It will push back and fly out into space.

And if the top is covered with a dirty cover, it will collapse into a black hole.

The protest! On the contrary, it will push away space from all sides.
So it will either become a white hole or turn out the space-time continuum.

No, it is already fantasy!

xxx: this is why "sexual organs" are written?? to
He is alone...
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
zzz: ahahha, shake the shurundules calls!

to the citizen, "the hottest" to the authors of posts about cats:

I do not advise you, citizen, I do not advise you, I do not advise you to eat!

An aggressive vegetarian who would want to impose his principles on me and make me not eat meat, I have never met in my life.

– – – – –

This is not a whirlwind, full of poor-minded vegetarians who impose, without asking, a vegetable diet on their children - often inhibiting their development.

I sit at work. is boring. I went to Google and wrote in the questionnaire the first thing that came to mind "how to kill Sisadmin?". I read the variants... After 5 minutes of call, I look at the determiner – Sisadmin: – Ale. For what! ! to ? to! to

The Lord of the Rings in Goblin's translation. Mom makes sandwiches and mocked the cat. Mom: What does he need? The voice from the columns: he wants to eat, hungry, will walk around... Mom: they hear us!!! to

How did you get your nuts about the perforator!
There are no drills and perforators, this is what I am making a milk cocktail in the blender in the morning.

For 4 years, he walked with his hair to his shoulders, usually doing a screw and in the tail. I decided to shave myself, and the machine broke it all. Now I have a unique hairstyle "headset with a piercing".

Today on the job search site found a vacancy of a remote copywriter. In general, they need a copywriter who can “grammatically and beautifully express their thoughts.”

from JJ:
As for hamsters: the animal is absolutely unpredictable, pulls any ugliness into the mouth.
In acquaintances sick hamster - lying does not get up, he lifts his head and runs, does not eat anything. It turned out, hiding behind the cheek a healthy coat all day, something good. But falling down, it’s heavy for the hammer :)

The kiosks are broken. Some man with a very sleepy appearance (in the middle of the day) whispers into the window:
Give me two in one...
Kiyoskercha, not moving (hotly)
Are they different or the same?
The man fell into a stupor.
c) Aglaia