I work in support:

"The Application
The customer is waiting for the master. asks to speed up the time"

This city needs a superhero!! to

Why is the General a fieldwife?
General Drozd: to cook in the field kitchen.
Either you are delicate, or you have a sense of humor, or you are not a general.
General Drozd: (blinking the green light) Yes

Melany (15:21:38 18/07/2014)
I was here in gloria jeans wanted to buy black pants and black shirt-type black color makes the figure slimmer
In the mirror, I was looked at by a thin kit!
Fatamorgana (15:21:47 18/07/2014) :-))
Melany (15:22:17 18/07/2014)
I don’t know what to wear to hide this horror.
Fatamorgana (15:22:34 18/07/2014)
The Tencent

A real man only goes to the doctor when a spike in his back begins to interfere with sleep.
Fear is all. The man turns to the side. And he will go to the doctor when a spike in his back begins to hinder his wife's sleep.

Alcoholism is when you constantly drink not to get good, but to not get bad.

Shuka

In the beginning of the 1960s.
My father, a young, unmarried lieutenant, a two-year-old, was sent to Red Turkestan near the town of Mara.
They built military airports there.
Here was a week in a new place, the second, the father got involved, set up the service of the squadron entrusted to him, and one hot evening, he asked himself a simple and logical question: "What would I do in my free time from service, so as not to go crazy?"
In fact, the question was not festive. The whole soldier library (all 12 books) the father read in a week, the TV channels in their desert did not reach, radio programmes reached, but they were either in Turkmen language, or in Russian for Turkmen, which is generally the same.
Day +50 at night +30 - this is, in fact, all the entertainment there.

The father, as a very intelligent man, of course, understood that a smart man never gets bored, but then even he gave up, admitted to himself as a fool and turned to the officers - his comrades in arms:
What do you do here after the service?
The officers looked at his father as a little boy and said:
We go to the lake and catch fish. What, did you not know?
What is? Is there a lake?
PS-S-R is of course there. Do you not know at all? It is not close, indeed, and not very large, but nothing, you can catch.
My father was never a special fisherman, but I did not have to choose, it was better to catch fish than to watch the thermometer.
He asked the comrades for three meters of hips, a hook and a truck, and he swung the float himself. He pulled off the visible guidance of the appropriate length of the rail and went to a distant, mysterious lake.
The lake was very small and excavator-creative.
A total of 5 meters in diameter.
On the shores sat very concentrated fishermen seven or eight people (from the lieutenant and to the major - the commander of the unit) they did not disconnect looking at their dead floats spinning out of clay water and rattled from the heat and the absence of clove.
My father said:
Hi, can you join me?
Major shrugged his hands:
What are you doing, Lieutenant? You scare the fish. Sit down, just be silent.
The new fisherman said, “It’s his fault,” he turned his railway and also sat down on the shore.
An hour passed and no one was seen.
The second passed, the same, and then the father whispered, carefully asked the neighbor:
Is there any fish here?
Yes, of course, otherwise we’t be here. Just talk less, she doesn’t like it.

The third, fourth hour passed, the father wanted to swallow the rails, as he suddenly knelt.
The newcomers are lucky, r-r-raz and over the water flew up a tiny shimmering tile.
The officers envyed with tongues:
It was the first time I caught the squid.
“Yes, it’s true, she’s been a snail, no one has caught a snail for a long time.

The father removed the unfortunate fish from the hook and thought, "What kind of squid is this? She is smaller than a pack of papyrus, and doesn’t look like it at all, but nothing, our barracks cat will be pleased with that too.”

He did not argue with the experts, but picked up a specially prepared three-liter bowl of muddy water, threw his catch there, quietly said goodbye to the society and went home.
A strange silence prevailed behind his back and finally the major said loudly:
“Comrade Lieutenant, I didn’t understand, but where did you go?
Go home, Comrade Major.
It doesn’t matter where you’re going, but why did you pull the squid away? We are hunting too.
So... A?
Did you catch a fish and go home with it? No, dear, here in the lake fish five pieces for all, put off, "Piranha" is no longer there, died. The result is four pieces (the major began to bend his fingers): “Lash”, then your “Shuck”, “Som” and “Shark”. Yes the four.
So get the squid back to the base before she’s also dead.

Since then, my father has been very busy fishing.

After the birth of the eighth child, the parents already slept with the light and under the supervision of the older children.

Washing in the pot! We had a thunderstorm yesterday, and there was an accident in the water supply - all the water was suddenly turned off. There was no drink. Rain on the street. So to collect water for washing in the toilet, I had to hang a plastic bench on the balcony. In order to avoid falling overboard, the son (11 years old) balanced it with stones drawn from different excursions. The darkness of technology. Here is the future for you.

Hubble is pleased again! On the main post about the fact that the Nokia X smartphones will not receive further development due to the reduction of staff... And just above hangs the advertising banner "Do you work under the Nokia X? We have good news.”
The sarcasm? :D

by Sergei 16:29
Pipe, can you help me?

Sugar by 16:29
Zadarova
Go to)

by Sergei 16:31
I am not in the city, please put 100 or 200 rubles on the phone? Return tomorrow

Sugar by 16:31
Are you fucking?
I am in the army.
as 9 months.

If Ukraine invites those of our lawyers who slandered Serdyukov, they will prove that it was the Malaysian airliner that shot down the Ukrainian missile.

And we have a new insult – "Ah you, Apollo’s whisper!" Thank you to the deputies.

My sister has been an accountant for over 10 years. Yesterday, the Aitishnyh, whom they called, collapsed all the stereotypes about the buffs.
Dialogue, sister (C), aitishneeg (A)
C: I stopped sending the report, the error is issued! I have a port closed, I need to open it on the router!
A: How did you realize that the problem was in the closed port?
C: Well, I wandered, this error means that this is the closed port, but here (opens) we see that this is the closed port.
A: Do you know how to search?
Conclusion: Not all bugs are equally stupid!

Krysa: My grandmother, who hid my father from the terrible and prolonged bombing, decided that if they survived, she would shout his father. has survived. She cried.

papa_s_perforatorom and

Ult: Well if I didn’t survive – didn’t cry, what’s incomprehensible?

Hobo: Chess and Mat, atheists

Harsh city in the Chelyabinsk region
Advertising on the local website in the sales section

I sell school.

A colleague decided to connect her smartphone to the computer via a USB cable, went under the table, because the system is there, and, after a minute, not finding a connector, she turned from under the table to a colleague sitting next to him (dialogue):
Alex, please sit down at my table.
What will we do there?
Find a USB connection.
Oh, it is now called so.

The Luciers:
The Knight.
As a child, I played knights. I made a helmet with feathers from an old cage. After testing the iron armaturin (she is the same sword) the head is whole, but the ringing in the ears passed only to the evening.
The Aquarianist.
The anti-gas is attached by wire, plasticine and various spores to the old fire extinguisher (liters for 15-20), and as if pumped with air. After that, he clothes the smallest and is thrown into the river with him for testing. After a long wait and a short boiling, the small was still pulled out of the water. tk. The fire extinguisher picked up water, then the small could not swim up with him and bravely slipped down to the bottom to the shore, as long as there was enough strength.

My girlfriend stands with her son at the zoo shop, they watch for hamsters...
Do you want a hamster?
No, I don’t want a ham.
And whom do you want?
The dog...
and my son!!We have agreed with you!!! to
A costly man’s tear slipped on the cheek of a twelve-year-old boy... In turn, many sympathetically breathed.
8 dogs were waiting for him at the boy's house, but at 9 y, the mother has not been able to break up.

I dreamed of you naked today.
WOW: And how then?
HHH: So for yourself.

Comment on the news that the Belarusian military is looking for the lost drone through an advertisement in the newspaper. The message about the loss of the aircraft was published in the district edition "Mayak". The announcement relied on a photo of the UAV, so that the one who found it did not confuse it with another drone:

xxxh: I saw some drone from the bus window today.. he walked around the stop and cried a little bit on the "kerosene", to fly home. But there was no photo - I don't know if he or not.