bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №116080
 14.07.2015
I went to the movie at "Mini". Their depression there started with the absence of a boss and they show how sluggish they are playing football. One pins the ball, the ball slowly plunges into the gate grid and only after that the goalkeeper depicts a lazy jump and falls on the side. And a thirsty voice in the room: “No, Akinfeeeyeev!”

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №116079
 14.07.2015
from ZJ langobard: 1970-1980s. There is no internet. There are three TV channels, in most regions - two. Purely entertaining content – no more than a third of the time. After midnight (or at night) on the TV nothing - "don't forget to turn off the TV" and the lukewarm monotonous sound.
And adults wrote alarming articles about the fact that children watch a lot of television, about the television addiction of young people, offered recipes to get rid of youth from "telemania" (there was such a word).
I always remember this when I face another discourse of some terrible threats.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116078
 14.07.2015
The Magnitogorsk. A quote from a local news site about the fashion festival: "Total 30 designers from Magnitogorsk, Chelyabinsk, Sibay, Miass, Yekaterinburg, London and the village of Agapovka will present 32 collections."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116077
 14.07.2015
I like to teach so much.
Oh yeah, that is power!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116076
 14.07.2015
13 July 2015
We have such a summer that I have already started thinking about what to buy in the autumn.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116075
 14.07.2015
My husband was confident that I was talking, reporting that he had recovered strongly and quickly. And then we went to visit our parents, where they were not a couple of months, and the neighbor who met in the entrance of the apartment on the opposite said something like, Masha every time comes with a new one! The neighbor is a stupid old, of course, but the husband has not eaten for the night for two weeks, and yesterday bought a gym subscription.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116074
 14.07.2015
On July 14, humans will reach Pluto for the first time, well, and we are shutting off hot water.

TDV

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116073
 14.07.2015
Axz: there is one fun on cpp.sh
Sometimes when the code is launched, the site slides and runs someone else’s program.
I was suddenly asked to enter my gender, weight and height. I entered and received a message in response: "the candidate was rejected"
It is offensive fucking.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116072
 14.07.2015
The Ministry of Internal Affairs is ordered to cut every tenth employee.

Who was joking about decimation a few years ago?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116071
 14.07.2015
This is how we have creative young people. Take the example of zombies, rank in other costumes and scare children. Where will such young people take the country? Zombies today, gay tomorrow and after tomorrow.
Afternoon and Wednesday afternoon.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116070
 14.07.2015
XXX is
Assessment of:
Corn beans were invented by the Kellogg brothers. John Harvey Kellogg and Will Kate Kellogg were Seventh-day Adventists and led a strict lifestyle that prohibited the consumption of meat, alcohol, tobacco, tea, and coffee. Milk and eggs were allowed in limited quantities. Their parents were opposed to their children being educated because they believed that Christ would come earlier than expected. Nevertheless, John still obtained a medical degree and soon became the head of the Seventh-day Adventist Medical Center.

He was categorically against masturbation, which he considered an act of madness. He even believed that the men noticed in this act should sew the limb, and women poured carbolic acid on the clitoris. In addition, he believed that meat was one of the causes of sexual desires that subsequently led to masturbation, so he focused on foods rich in grains. He invented corn beans as a grain-based food, which was meant to protect people from being killed.

YYY
I suggest that this text be placed on every box of corn flakes.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116069
 14.07.2015
Debugger: No one will ever send Windows developers to the forestry. They will cut down the trees.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №116068
 14.07.2015
Tell me, Grey, are you Russian?
OOO OOO OOO!
So tell me, Russian... Did you dive in the winter?
Wow yes, every week. As a bathroom and cut!
How did you swim this summer?
Oh yeah, you are cold!
The milk...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116067
 14.07.2015
Sound quality is 24kbps. My grandmother told me stories when I was a child, and that with a big beat...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116066
 14.07.2015
Here's a computer joke from a puppy face. Just to think!
I go on the street.
I hear someone beating.
I encourage myself.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116065
 14.07.2015
A mouse was killed at work. I sit with my colleagues in the smoking room and talk.
My mouse is dead.
Must be buried.
The singing?
I don’t know what religion she belongs to, so I’ll be buried in silence.
Well, by the whole rope, two religions disappear.
c) the iBurokrat

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116064
 14.07.2015
Mu ma: well I alternate, then I am a lady, or even vodka will not give up)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116063
 14.07.2015
Helldogtiapa: I want to say to people who boast of football fans, who, after a match, seem to wander at night under the windows, scream and shout in vuvuzels, that I am ridiculous about their ridiculous claims. They don’t know life!
Helldogtiapa: I know life. For several nights in a row under our windows, graduates-baumans in the pelvis ride here and there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116062
 14.07.2015
The representative of the passport table walks through the apartments and collects passports, after the work, the citizens themselves take the passports or the representative spreads through the apartments.
– – – – –
And then citizens are surprised to find out who is late payment on some loan, who has failed to pay taxes on some company belonging to them, in addition to already bankrupt. You read for general development, to whom a citizen can give his passport - only to police representatives during the execution. The rest do not have the right to take the document out of the sight of this citizen - in order to avoid such cases. The representative of the passport desk can steal other people's documents on the way to the passport table, and who will be responsible for this?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116061
 14.07.2015
the husband came with an independent examination (accident, auto damage assessment for insurance)
He brought the church calendar and the printed prayer of St. Paul. Prince Vladimir

He said that they were given
You can’t cry or laugh.


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