An Israeli newspaper conducted a survey, what is the difference between politicians and thieves?

One response attracted the attention of the editor: "Dear editor, I have thought a lot about your question, and I have come to the conclusion that the difference between politicians and thieves is that we choose the first, and the latter choose us. With respect, Dove Berman.”

The editor replied:

"Dear Mr. Berman, we have decided to award you an annual subscription to our newspaper for your brilliant answer! Because you were the only one who found the difference between politicians and thieves."

Does anyone catch Pokémon?
YYY: Well...somebody’s Pokémon, somebody’s white...
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Oh, I’m also a buffalo. I drive a bit with me, in my backpack, though, because of the lack of a trunk on a motorcycle. And once I even used it as a blowing instrument: a buoy guy was trying to take away my bike. And you know, I will be much more pleased to be a dwelling place in the eyes of unknown lovers of white flying, rather than being raped, robbed, or even dead.

At the age of 9, I was wildly overwhelmed, and there was a desire to play guitar, hardly left the 3-room apartment, where 8 people lived at the same time, scratched on a single. All the money went to repair and slept on the floor. My zeal of playing the guitar was not noticed, mainly the answer was "Little yet", but in a month and a half I got them all so that my dad found some "bravo" with strings, and they gave me in a circle of guitar. For 2 years I suffered playing a piece of *****, instead of a pair of wheels, which had twists from gas balloons, with it and performed.

One day, my uncle and a friend visited me and asked me to set up a guitar, saying that they would pay 30 rubles for the setup. The guitar sounded like no other instrument I had played before. It was a Bulgarian Kremona, the deca was made of cedar, completely new, the aroma of wood made it clear immediately. Giving the guitar back, the uncle asked:

and good?

Oh ah...

She is yours. And here is another 30 rubles for adjustment.

At that moment I didn’t even understand what happened, it was the most pleasant and unexpected gift in my life. It turns out, my grandmother and grandfather all this time a little delayed to buy me a good tool. I want to make such a surprise to my children and grandchildren.

The World Building jokes - two news in a row:
- Cruiser Aurora returned after repair in Kronstadt to the place of perpetual parking near the Petrograd onshore.
Military coup in Turkey

- We have here on the ground of numerous flights was born: IL86 and IL86_64 (expanded version)
Twice the passenger capacity.
Twice as many instructions.

Question to the moderators. Is it possible to display a filter for a keyword (for example, Pokémon). Not to see all the quotes it contains.

Don’t be afraid of old age, it will pass quickly.

This story happened long ago. I will pass it over on behalf of my friend, who has had it all at work.
So yes, the bosses took a new employee, a sales specialist. And so that the girl didn’t miss, a few clients immediately picked up. One of them looked into their office in order to buy a server air conditioner. The girl was in half a faint state, as she was never engaged in sales, and especially technical products. But the employer knew what he wanted, he told me everything. The air conditioner pulled for $2,400, and since the supplier arrived fed, he asked to put in the cost of the discount in the amount of $500.

The poor didn’t even have time to get to the office, as he was ruthlessly fired. The girl, in fact, too. The account that went by fax to the supplier's office was as follows:
1st The air conditioner is $2,400.
2nd Avoidance is $500.
Total of $2900.

However, the staff should be trained before launching into free navigation.

Current pensioners are not beneficial to the current authorities even by not having to spend the money of the pension budget on them.
which is clearly not intended for these purposes.
The matter is another.
The current pensioners still remember perfectly how and where the current power came from.

The Women’s Forum.
Girls, in what cowards will you celebrate the New Year?
YYY: In the safety. My shorts squeeze me.
Zzzz: O_O And why do you stretch them to the beard?

Slipper repairman: I know a couple of designers and technicians.. they are under shiisits.. no one needs them.. and will count without a compass, then I need to dig, then only to count.. They offer such a salary that bombs are ashamed.. They have more on bottles..

The bookmate, where I bought three books of Shirvindt and one of Alexander Chudakov, claims to have selected six books specifically for me. Among the proposed "Sexual Life of Siamese Twins".

It was:
..."Things that did not serve"....
Some “creatures” did not serve, others “creatures” did not give birth, and the layer of jelly is not of those and not of those. So we live.
............
Those who do not think of themselves as creatures insult the feelings of believers.

Cristiano Ronaldo celebrated victory in Euro 2016 by buying a car for 1.5 million
He ran around the field for Bugatti Veron. has reached.

Astakhov complained on Twitter:
Why do you tell me something I haven’t said yet? I didn’t say at the stairs of the aircraft of the Ministry of Emergencies, which brought tourists from Turkey: “Well, how did you rest?”

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We read this post and laugh:

All I need to know about my accuracy - today in the forest "hunting" on mushrooms, I wandered away from annoying mosquitoes and struck myself a knife in the face((("

I: it reminds me) from a week ago fell from the big, trying to circumvent an unpredictable aunt, grabbed her with the steering wheel, fell on the grass, broke her brush. She got sick for a few days and stopped. I soon forgot about her.
We went to the beach and played volleyball. So I first turned my finger on the ball to the other side, so that it was swollen and blue, then twice unsuccessfully and painfully hit the sick brush, which, it turns out, did not recover. And then used under the jeep to get the ball that fell under him, and did not notice that behind him was attached a big... In short, starred on the forehead, hit a small clot)
I did not play that day anymore, lying quietly on the blanket away from my sins, anointed with cream from the sunrise. And it doesn’t matter that I’m already a nigger, just a day – full of surprises :) After a failed volleyball I decided to go shopping. I went under a bucket, and I wrapped my hair on it...
The culmination: When I got home (after riding a bicycle 20 km), I took a shower and made a coffee, thinking that everything was behind, I heard a strange sound: “Pshshsh..."
I carefully approach the bicycle, bend and see, with this very sound of pshch, I have eyes, sitting, descending, the front wheel...

Real vegans make tattoos.

As a friend stated that in their class everyone was born in the year of the Monkey, claiming that this is an incredible coincidence. I don’t know how she finished school.