bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130682
 14.07.2016
Serzh: Adult is when the lunch pleases not the compot, but the size of the cottage.
Or at least lunch.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №130681
 14.07.2016
On the basis of local quotes, I decided to ask my son what is depicted on the save button in the word, the answer began elegantly: in the old days there was such a thing... discet))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130680
 14.07.2016
The night. The door to open. Grandpa cries in the room. The little one in his bed hears it and cries, cries. I got up carefully so as not to wake my husband (although the tank would not wake him up) I went to close the door. She closed, and there was a cat under the door. She woke up and started murmuring, “Who did I wake up?” The cat was finally awakened and squeezed small. I just closed the door two steps to the baby’s bed to calm the baby. When I calm him, I shake. Suddenly the man wakes up and cries.
My husband’s version is shorter. I wake up suddenly, the child sneezes and a roasted aunt in a balloon approaches him and whispers, not holding back.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №130679
 14.07.2016
The night chat
xxx: having a member of 40 centimeters is uncomfortable
YYY: Why is it always not about the breasts, but about the member?
XX: Everything turns around him.
On the clock arrow or against?
XX: It depends on which hemisphere you are.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №130678
 14.07.2016
He said that Belarus, not Belarus,
///
In Russian, the country is called Belarus. The Republic of Belarus is its state name. Germany, in the meantime, is internally referred to as Daechland (German country is not a full synonym for Germany, right?If you do not understand the difference between internal self-naming, state self-naming and region/country naming in Russian, then what is the subject of default denomination?and ;-)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130677
 14.07.2016
>Because well I can’t imagine how you can laugh at a person because of external data, never encountered.

Have you ever encountered fools? You or wild luck in life, play the lottery, it makes sense. Or you live in the country of elves.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130676
 14.07.2016
Fire in the Hole is a real idiotic. But only in our time. At the time of the use of guns on combat ships, this scream meant that the fitil had burned to the ignition hole in the body of the cannon and the shot was inevitable.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №130675
 14.07.2016
About Adulthood
You understand that you have become a little bit of an adult girl when the son begins to shave.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №130674
 14.07.2016
Walk in three. I see a man standing next to the house. Well, such as 50, dull, with a short haircut, with a seat, in an old-fashioned sports suit, in sandals and with a bicycle. Suddenly his husband greeted him. I am surprised. Oh, how do you know that uncle? ! to My husband is a physics teacher at one of the schools.

I am yes? Oh, it was so uncomfortable, I thought it was a forgetfulness of some sort. This is the teacher.

Yes, she always dressed like that.

She is? ! to ? to ! to Is that also her? ! to ? to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №130673
 14.07.2016
When I was a child, my mom always arranged a surprise for me on my birthday. She always stood up before me and pumped balls, the number was equal to my age. When I woke up, the first thing I saw were the balls. Several times I woke up earlier and heard my mom blow up the balls in the kitchen as they burst. But I did not get up, pretending to be asleep and wondering when I woke up, so as not to hurt my mom. It seems like such a little thing - balls, and I still remember those moments with a smile and every birthday I want to open my eyes and see them.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130672
 14.07.2016
I want a mansion and Lamborghini, but not for my pocket. Children are not in the pocket either.
I live by means.

Children are not in the pocket.
And when they do not appear in your pocket, you are old and used to living for yourself.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №130671
 14.07.2016
“Ubisoft has announced that from July 22, all players will have a chance to get the PC version of Trials of the Blood Dragon for free, but for this it will have to play in the demo version of the project. And not just to play, but to pass it in less than fifteen attempts. In this case, the full version of the game will open."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

YYY: That’s what I understand, manyhood!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130670
 14.07.2016
There was such a case. A repair brigade of two people worked on the wires of the ordinary rural power supply network. For three supports from this place, the student was placed on the rubber, so that no one accidentally turned on. And for him, during his vigilance, an interesting thought came to his mind: if the rubber is quickly turned on and turned off, will the current have time to pass through the line? The result is two bodies.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №130669
 14.07.2016
Once I read here about how quickly on the streets to cut off the foolish people who promote Divine ideas. I used this method several times with my son. The effect is instantaneous. He was on his mouth and wrapped...
A new apartment was recently opened in our entrance. The district (and he with humor) started walking around the floors and knocked on our door. At the son’s question “Who is there?” the district officer (apparently already tired of saying the same thing) replied “Do you believe in the police?” and “Well, my splash and gave through the door,” “Allahu Akbar!” and “Just wrote an explanatory...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130668
 14.07.2016
I don’t know what shit is about. Belarus is a tractor.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130667
 14.07.2016
"In Italy, vegetarian parents barely tired their child of hunger"

Those are hya, they should not reproduce. They would write out the Darwin Prize and move it to the next level, even if they were involved in pranoeating. The child is sorry.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №130666
 14.07.2016
This is a storm!
YYY: Yes, it shines perfectly and cries at night, intensely...
It’s time to watch a good horror movie!
YYY: Do you think? Okay, I'm going to turn on the RBC, listen to the news of the Russian economy.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130665
 14.07.2016
Kaa: Gigs, yesterday watched Terminator 2
Kaa: Sara Oret "fire in the hole!"
Kaa: translator: "Fire in the corridor!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130664
 14.07.2016
You did not understand again:

Many want to marry a fighting girlfriend and acquire a reliable rear, but not all girls grow up with such friends. Do you think it’s better to get married to a princess, or keep your nerves safe while being single?

A fighting friend is not a reliable rear, like a sloth to cover your ass, it is a man who goes hand in hand with you, and you will not acquire it. Your false dichotomy "eat shit vs. starve" gives you up with your head.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №130663
 14.07.2016
A progressive future has arrived. My colleagues ran to catch Pokémon.

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