Blue car simulator.

“Well, imagine, you’re all day in the garage, nervous, changing oil in a car worth more than your apartment, came home to relax, started this toy and YEY, confused the wires, kicked the hammer, pour the 92nd in the diesel...

Yesterday I was bored and I wrote to a stranger under the photo: “Do you no longer love me?” Today I had 250 of his friends in guests, headed by his wife... Man, if you are alive, forgive me!

Lip: I work on those support. And the guy constantly calls and before asking a technical question always asks: "Is it convenient for me to speak?".

I work in an IT company, the schedule is free, we usually come after 13:00.
The Time 16
Ping-win: Are we going to lunch?
Sasha: I have eaten lunch.
Ping-win: What is the code?
Saxony at 14
Who is eating lunch so early?
Sasha: I. At 10 – breakfast, at 14 – lunch...
Ping-win: What is this going on? While everyone is asleep, do you eat? O_O

mi3ch> Scolari's post-match press conference will take place in Rostov-on-Don

In the courtyard, the youth drank beer at the brewery. Everything is noble. It was. Until two fools argued how to properly cross a wise crossroads. First slowly, then louder and louder. How about another? Drinking beer in the first half of the night. Twenty minutes later, from a balcony, a man’s voice said, “Will you ever go through this crossroads?” Let the pedestrian pass, I am standing for half an hour!"Seconds three silences, then a friendly whistle and again everything is remarkably noble.

However, someone from the Russian football team suggested that our players play like Brazilians. The curse of the Russian national team turned out to be stronger: now the Brazilians play like ours.

The contemporaries of Socrates recorded his words: "I know that I know nothing" and, offended, did not write the continuation: "and you don't know that, donkeys."

Brazilian riots: upset fans rob shops and burn buses.

We have been warned for a long time:
“I’m Charlie’s aunt from Brazil, where there are a lot of wild monkeys.

Seeking a job. I went to interviews: either I was sent, or I. I asked for an advertisement. Accepted, worked, essentially varied work for 15th / month, two weeks - dropped with salary and fines. tk. Free time was wasted in the prosecutor's office. In an unknown way, this firm (as the lawyer said) took their eyes a little bit and took over my case.
The company called with threats - I carefully recorded them. They tried to beat on the street - he beat back, and the bride recorded on the phone (the company's security guard was identified).
I agreed to the world - I got more than my annual earnings.
This is so. "Quest completed, you have time to find the next task"

Partyzandr: if Paul was alive, he would smell the Brazilians and throw them out of the aquarium.

Today, he was the victim of some anti-human psychological experiment. I walk in the street, I don’t touch anyone. Suitable two girls, young, cute, with a tablet. Theft asks:
Young man, please answer two questions.
It is pleasant. The girls are cute.
Let me say, your questions.
Are you married?
Yes I say.
Because late to break, the ring on the finger gives me with the head.
So why the shirt?
They stand and wait for an answer.
In fact, what kind of HGH?

xxx: 2 days ago in the office closed access in the social network, today one employee offered sex in exchange for access)
YYY: Maybe something didn’t work out? For example, the phrase - "We are all cancer department you%beam if you do not include" does not mean sex in exchange for access.

Application to the IT service: "We are very hot and suffocating, but everyone is afraid to turn on the air conditioner, because they believe it needs to be cleaned from bacteria first. Can you do this?"
Admin is the best remedy for bacteria!

Jud Lowe flirted with Bear Grills' wife all day at Wimbledon
Bear Grills allows a wife to use other men as a source of protein.

What do you know about the North?
Dark: When I was a child, I went to Magadan with my mom... to the resort!

End of working day. I, a fat aunt at 40, rushed home and suddenly remembered the thought, I need to look at my cell phone. I entered the yellow sales network. The seller sleeps behind the monitor, but seeing me still rises up with the feeling of a rebellious zombie and almost the same look slips in the direction of the customer. I signal him that I’m just looking, and he can sleep further, but the guy is determined to talk to me. It adds. The dialogue between a sleepy seller and a tired me.
Good morning, my name is...! What can I help?
I just have to look at a new phone.
Do you have any wishes or requirements?
To be smarter than me...
A young man walks around the store:
Any model will suit you! A pause – Oh! I didn’t mean that!!! to

They both wiped so that the windows wiped! I came home in a good mood.

Yesterday’s call: Do you have chou puppies?
There is.
How much do they cost?
I answer.
and mmmm. Are there other plants for sale?
Not for sale.
and mmm. And we are still buying old batteries, gas columns. Do you have?

M in bed.
Woman is better than Ixbox?
M: You can’t compare! Wife is not a veil, but Ixbox is a thing.

The Father: The Father! As the Germans?
I didn’t see it, I saw it in the news today.
Son of Abbey
Father: my mother and I had a century dispute, I put on the Germans
and son =)
Father: If the Germans lost, I’t drink until the next World Cup
They could not lose)