bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №50109
 10.07.2011
Students go to the U.S. Consulate to receive work visas for the summer... an essay interview. one of them in English in general almost no book, learned a few phrases, comes to an interview, after a few questions such as how you are called to go the culmination:
Consul: What do you want to do in the USA?
Students: A visit to the land!
LANDAN IN ENGLAND, DEATHEL!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №50108
 10.07.2011
Yesterday I jumped a parachute and made a discovery for myself.
We live on Google Maps.

[ + 78 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50107
 10.07.2011
I sit after the lessons in addition to the teaching and here suddenly the door opens and the guy orets:
by Victor Semenich.
– and?
Oh shit! and escaped.
The fucking graduates.

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №50106
 10.07.2011
I walk down the street, meet my grandmother with two lovely grandchildren of 4 years. I hear from my grandmother:
A murder requires a good reason.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №50105
 10.07.2011
Anai: At the end of the page is a beautiful flash game.
slavka123: I’ve scaled the screen to see that I’m wrong about your nick.

[ + 81 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50104
 10.07.2011
"Champagne and cups"
This is "Take me a big ride", this is it!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №50103
 10.07.2011
Katya: I am angry with the expression "this is very dear to me"...
Katya: Man, it sounds proud!

[ + 78 - ] [14 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50102
 10.07.2011
xxx: good guys, wanted to buy clothes, went and bought +)

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №50101
 10.07.2011
A man who has no one hand was found guilty of knocking his hands in a public place, reports "Radio Liberty".

Master Zen... Cotton with one hand. Is it wrong to recruit students?

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №50100
 10.07.2011
In Spain, prostitutes are obliged to wear reflective vests.
And what, in Russia also wears, but why do they wear sticks...

[ + 83 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50099
 10.07.2011
In this regard, in contact:
You’ve lived all these dates: 01/01/01
2nd/02/02
by 03/03/03
by 04/04/04
05/05 to 05/05
by 06/06/06
by 07/07/07
by 08/08/08
by 09/09/09
and 10/10/10.

This will not happen in another 1,000 years.

The first comments:
Hu: there will be 11/11/11 and 12/12/12
Xh: And I don’t believe anything will happen in 2012. So there will be 13.13.13 and 14.14.14 and so on)

Of course, x li And 99.99.99 you will have the kids of the internet fucking. Fursenko is mast.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №50098
 10.07.2011
The news burns again.
Crimea Emergency Ministry warns residents and guests of the peninsula
Yanukovych celebrates his 61st birthday in Crimea

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №50097
 10.07.2011
When I was a child, a grandmother approached me, gave me a candy and said, “Hi, Aleshenka.” But I am not Aleshenka, even close.
>> Did you eat this candy?
> Yes and what?
>> Now you are an Aleshenka.
> but I don’t want to be Aleshenka, what should I do?
Then you should talk a candy at midnight and approach the child on the street with the words "Hello, Aleshenka" and give him a configured candy. If he eats it, he becomes Aleshenka, and you become yourself. Here is how.
>>> that is to say that the grandmother was Aleshenka?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №50096
 10.07.2011
Killer - Killer
I dream of visiting other planets... descending to the bottom of the ocean... to see the world.
Ashton
I made a cinderella from half an orange.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №50095
 10.07.2011
A mouse rotates over his head.
You probably have shit thoughts in your head.
Or my cockroaches went out into space...

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №50094
 10.07.2011
Announcement in the running line - I bought a bucket of forest berries on the market.Please return the toothprothesis.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №50093
 10.07.2011
xxx: word of five letters, contains the letters 'p', 'z', 'd', 'a'?
West is fucking!
XXX is...

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №50092
 10.07.2011
Do you remember my brown cup?
I am sick in my throat. I broke soda, rinse my throat.
The cup is white.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №50091
 10.07.2011
The inner world of men is more complex, and women are more unpredictable.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №50090
 10.07.2011
For women to note: how to get rid of a rival.
The midlife crisis is a cruel thing. On different people it hits differently, but on men for some reason (at least from my observations of others) it always targets one point - erotic.
In other words, the gray in the beard is the rage in the rib. Forty-year-old men begin to abandon their single wives and rush after younger girls.
My husband stayed longer than others. We all know each other, and we are still together. However, there comes a moment when ON appears on the horizon, and a crack occurs in a reliable family fortress.
She is a young fifa we met at work (we have a joint business with my husband) and who thinks she’s “smarter, brown and white.” And here this fifa begins to roll to my husband and so on, and so on: all kinds of conversations there, smiles and other signs of attention. The husband still holds, but I feel that each time the crack becomes wider and wider, and soon the fortress will surrender.
Making a scandal to my husband is not a matter: first, I have no evidence, and secondly, it is not in my position to shed tears and pull out my hair (which, by the way, is already starting to shed).
But against the beauty of youth there is a great power - life's wisdom accumulated over the years, and I come to mind a brilliant idea.
When we meet with a potential opponent again, I so unobtrusively scroll to her and say about the following:
“My husband and I almost fought yesterday.”
She has a pretense of confusion in her eyes.
“You understand,” I continued, “my husband and I love sex for three. We and the business opened up to make it easier to meet new people and invite them to bed.”
Misunderstanding is replaced by a light fear.
“We have been silent about you. My husband likes you, but you don’t want me at all. Understand me right: you’re a very cute and smart woman, but I don’t feel any erotic attraction to you at all.”
The girl begins to retreat.
“I don’t know,” I say again, “if you gave me a chance to get to know you more closely, I might have changed my mind.”
The girl scratches her nails, something scratch on the subject that her women do not do too.
A few days later, during dinner, her husband said, “Lena was somewhat strange today. I smiled at her, and she looked at me like I was a perverse.”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna