bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115800
 07.07.2015
That’s when you want to kill a neighbor. Dumbness is when you want to kill a neighbor, because we are all doomed.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №115799
 07.07.2015
We have a lot of people like you in our organization. He runs the whole year with every spole to the hospital, and he is not embarrassed that someone does the job for him. And when the prize is offended, it is less than the others.
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And there are enthusiasts who sit in a workplace with a high temperature, barely opening their eyes because of tears and sores, forbidding to ventilate (I am sick), filling the entire office with bacilli, infecting everyone else who goes to the hospital (because of one splash several people) - and then proudly receive an increased premium as they have never been sick. And the leadership is unaware that this "labour hero" with his "heroism" dismantled half the department for half a month.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115798
 07.07.2015
Mom takes all sorts of swimming rituals seriously, such as swimming in the river and jumping three times through the fire. Involves the whole family, turn away no. This time we are in the city, I thought it would work out, but not...
and short. We went to the bathroom and jumped through a candle.
Hopefully in the morning the neighbor will not ask why we are in the middle of the night, right, I don’t know how to answer...
WOW :D

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115797
 07.07.2015
HHH: It is directing me.

From pride?

HGH: from peanut soup

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115796
 07.07.2015
We got a copy of tomorrow’s checklist, everyone is learning from it. So it was necessary for one uncle to go to the parish with a copy and ask with a blue eye: "And what is the answer?"
The teacher has two eyes in the dish: "Where do you get this?"
We wait with all the flow for tomorrow.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115795
 07.07.2015
Father: How, explain to me, how could you not smell it when the eggs in the shell have already burned?? to
I thought the neighbors were doing the shale...
P: Oh, I have these creative personalities!
But when in the supermarket mom from the mountain of soft toys picked a sheep for the dog and brought it, Daddy in the basket was already lying exactly the same and even identical color. This is love. It is the instinct of reproduction.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115794
 07.07.2015
I found a brainstorming. Massage for the head.
I thought, a girl.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115793
 07.07.2015
Who sat on my chair and broke it?
YYY: The Tester
Why the Tester?
YYY: Broken – that is, the tester.
XXX: It is logical, fuck it.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №115792
 07.07.2015
Imagine yourself
– – – – –
I am talking about female logic.
Tell me how you were guided.
A man who came to meet in the department.
The men’s clothes?
He thought I was buying those pants and socks.
To cry at night.
Lonely as in a cage?! to
– – – – –
Unhappy married women are passionate as good. They already know what they want, and they are not looking for any new relationship. And they want to flirt, passion and have a good fuck. After a couple or three times, they realize that they are full, and that the husband is closer, which has dragged back to the borsches. And if 999 faithful wives will not want to betray and refuse to get acquainted, then the one thousand, who carefully picked up the most comfortable pants and socks for her husband and at the same time agreed to meet that guy, will repay his failures.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115791
 07.07.2015
If you imagine our planet as a living being, Russia is the mind, India is the heart, the United States is the stomach, Africa is the liver, Europe is the intestine, and England is appendicitis in general. What is China, to say while I have trouble, maybe hands, i.e. This is a practical implementation of what the Russians thought about and the Americans digested.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY We sit and don’t do anything until they give a pinch. We think of these hemispheres and live between them. I get upset if someone is still in white. We fear that we can get stressed, and then few people will not see it. Spirituality goes from us to the whole world.
Put China on India, say, are we the minds of the planet?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115790
 07.07.2015
Spectator> Our managers issued a wonderful: State budget institution of culture "Regional dermatology "

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115789
 07.07.2015
<Oležek> "The woman from Hong Kong exploded the iPhone 6Plus"
It’s no longer apples, it’s grenades.
<oort> women with apples have had problems for centuries.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115788
 07.07.2015
Love will suddenly heat up: it will eat, fuck and fall asleep.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115787
 07.07.2015
XHH: I, for instance, had a strong thought that trading on the Internet in roaming is more profitable than heroin, weapons and bullshit in the load.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115786
 07.07.2015
Advertising of the clinic in the bus: a photo of a frightened cat and the slogan: "Minus 2 testicles - plus 2 years of life. We are extending our lives!"

Local level of creativity

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115785
 07.07.2015
Here is another masterpiece.
by Veloanchel. No ahah okay.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115784
 07.07.2015
Something is scary:

The forum. A story from a mother of many.
At the beginning of my pregnancy, the dogs were always laughing at me, kicking, I learned about their behavior and pregnancy, even before the test.
--------
What did these dogs hear that they were so crazy?! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115783
 07.07.2015
World of Tanks.
Whoever gets first is Philip Kirkorov!
The xxx player is destroyed.
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am dying for you!
See me in the eyes!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115782
 07.07.2015
The Idiot

Herpes does not come out of the cold!! to
The Collectors.
And if you are so clever, treat with a scrapper. Then tell me.

Domestic herpes in the common people is called a cold (on the lips). And it can climb out with a common cold, due to weakened immunity. So not the stars and the march for textbooks. Skipidar can be drunk if you learn reluctance.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115781
 07.07.2015
The acquaintance is going to a role show, which will play a representative of the oldest profession.

Manticor: I want to be killed on the roll. It will be such a hideous occasion to go on the field to the dead man and scream, go away, the dead woman is coming!! to

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