xxx: My 190-year-old friend just married a girl who is 150-year-old last week. They’ve been together for seven years, something he’s been thinking for a long time.
YYY: I thought it would grow
Russofobia in Turkey:
Where are you from, guys?
from Russia
Here is Russian music.
For what?? to
The best questions are questions about a person, because everyone likes to talk about themselves.
For example:
What are you skiing?
What’s so sad, shit sausage unpleasant?
Who are you in life?
What did you write on your ass?
Are you a pedophile or pedophile?
Also help questions that make a person turn to basic values, existential:
Wolf in the eye or shit?
If you were a lamb, would you fuck a sheep?
Ask about the surroundings, people like to talk about friends and family:
Who do you need?
Are you one of those mom didn’t want and dad didn’t try?
Who do you know from the area?
Using these simple tricks, you will quickly find your new friends!
xxx: In our military school, at the medical commission, a man with a dirty ass was driven out of the office by a surgeon (there you have to turn back and push out the sticks for inspection) and, following him to the corridor, he loudly proclaimed: "And that with the socks on the glasses nobody else would enter!!!" and. The boy before the release remained so-Sugar.
Dad told me. They were on a trip with the crew. A free day. Young stewardesses gathered at the disco, the rest are called as well. Men of the age tend to agree, remember the former fate, as suddenly...
“Will you go, Uncle Cole?
No, thank you, I won’t go.
One employee very often called me to smoke on the street, cute, all with her, I already thought to invite her to the movie, or to my home, fish to watch, indeed she almost fit me as a daughter.
And it turned out that the automatic doors at the exit do not work on its growth.
And I wasted, old wise man.
What is our life: from scholarship to retirement.
My wife works in a rehabilitation center. There was a man with a serious injury to the cervical vertebrae. What is the essence! A group of athletes rested at sea. There is a small rock. The guys carefully studied the place, dive deep - in general, they did everything smarter before starting jumping from the rock. They are smart! But the fucking! None of them could have imagined that one day such a stupid tortoise would swim there!
I am a trainer. My student today read the assignment and says, “I didn’t understand anything, but I’ll do it now.”
You don’t even know, boy, how you will use this approach in the future at work!
During a period of turbulent youth, I woke up after the club in the apartment of a cute lady. From the situation in the apartment it was clear that the night was not dark, and the head was already very heavy.
While the companion was preparing breakfast, he offered to go to the pharmacy for pills from the head and for a mineral to the store and, having received approval, rushed to go, good in THIS HUNDRED HUNDRED. There was a pharmacy and a store.
Upon returning with the shopping in the yard I realized: neither the number of the apartment, nor the number of the entrance, nor the phone of her. So I went home with a mineral and pentalgin and no longer saw it🥲
xxx: I am under 40 and when choosing, a clay sauce or a delicious dinner, I will definitely choose dinner. At least because I want to eat every day.
YYY: And I’ll choose the glue suction. I learned to cook over the years, but the spine is not so flexible anymore.
My friend and I are studying vocal at the Conservatory. When it becomes boring, we choose an old destroyed building in the city, go there, enter the huge hall and sing songs, beautifully, in two voices. The acoustics and atmosphere are just ahh! Sometimes we eat, and the bull whispers like this and says in tears, “Girls, I’m dead, right?”
I decided to cut the grass in the country, wrapped the wire accidentally from the raspberries on the grass-cutting machine: (. She stood up. I tried to crush it, cut it off with a cutter - no way (Son goes - let me see. Worth to scratch. At this time I see that it is already dark and it is time to stop cutting, and so I can no longer see. I decided to turn the extender. As I turned, something went wrong and everything got confused. I see the son going, has already broken up the grass-cutting machine. Please remove the extender. I went home and took a beer from the refrigerator. I turn on the light and the light blinked and burned ((
I scream from the kitchen: Son! The lamp has burned!
He: Mom, and let’s you be a little slower to break everything, or I can’t get time to fix it.
He knows what it means to live with a woman.
Somewhere half a year ago my husband got a corporate simka from work. A couple of days later, a woman called this number, let’s call her Masha, and said, “This was my number. Please give me back the sims. I will pay..." The husband replied that the simka was made for the company and if necessary let it call the management of the company and decide.
And after some time in Votsape began to come different messages (the numbers were foreign) of the following content
“Masha, I need a girl.
I’m in Istanbul, I want to rest and so on.
There are also messages from girls asking for a job.
My husband blocked them.
One girl even sent her erotic portfolio. In addition, it was of good quality, professional, taken in the photography studio.
The husband said sadly, “Oh, it’s a pity to even remove...”
The girls wrote mostly from Latvia, Ukraine.
And the men with the demands of the girls were from Istanbul. I watched their avatars in the vatsapa, many of them had family photos with children.
Interestingly, these people started writing in the evening at 23:00. At 1 p.m. when we went to sleep.
You lie quietly, you are already asleep, and here the messages begin to come one after the other.
I say to my husband, “They write to you,” he calmly answers, “Yes, these are prostitutes.”
One night there was a message: “Masha, I’m in Istanbul. I need a girl...” and in 15 minutes another message: “Hello. I am from Latvia. I need a job...”
Even the idea of giving them each other’s numbers to meet...
Yes, forever these women with incomprehensible hints (I came home like this, and my wife lies naked on the bed stands and says "take me" and I stand and try to understand what she wants? Where to take her? I’m not going anywhere, I don’t understand.)
I work in furniture manufacturing, make and install furniture on order. Two weeks ago, I opened the trunk of my car, and a slice of a furniture bar of 800-900mm was thrown into my eyes.He surprised me very much, since the last installation, when he could get there, was almost a month ago, and how I didn't see him all this time "a little bit" is unclear (in the trunk a box with all kinds of liquids, a scarf, a brush and in detail, especially nowhere to be lost). A few days later, a friend calls and asks to make a stick in the warehouse. I went to measure the length, and for the case, I took this cut. He did it perfectly!! Now it does not let the thought that for some failure I was given a quest object before the quest itself))
Local airlines flights. Passengers are served by a post-Balzakov-age flight attendant and equipment, with difficulty allowing to crawl through the passage. In the plane, a mother flies with a 5-year-old child, who periodically ticks the stewardess's call button. Mom apologizes, the crew nervously turns off the indicator. For the tenth time, the crewman can’t stand and speaks to the child:
Boy, what do you want? ! to
The boy replies and points to the figure shown on the button.
The doll is me!
I stopped watching the figure. Finally, the figure needs to be trusted. Not a stranger.
Local airlines flights. Passengers are served by a post-Balzakov-age flight attendant and equipment, with difficulty allowing to crawl through the passage. In the plane, a mother flies with a 5-year-old child, who periodically ticks the stewardess's call button. Mom apologizes, the crew nervously turns off the indicator. For the tenth time, the crewman can’t stand and speaks to the child:
Boy, what do you want?! to
The boy replies and points to the figure shown on the button.
The doll is me!
The head of the Ministry of Industry: "Import interference stopped due to the impossibility of acquiring foreign components."
Die, Denis, you better not tell me.