bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №18797
 03.08.2009
Q: How is your personal life?
W: Yes, there is a full style, no engines.
m: - then it is understandable why in the phrase instead of "I’m going to shop in the Coastal Chelns" she wrote "Country Members".

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №18796
 03.08.2009
A girlfriend talks to her boyfriend on the phone:
I was offended by you. Why is? I called you and a girl raised the phone!!! Well, I was wrong with the number. But anyway, I was offended.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №18795
 03.08.2009
Or@nge: a hot day at the pool.
we sunbath with friends and here is this picture: a little girl scornfully escapes from her daddy, pronouncing at the same time such a delicate, childish voice "aya yai айа yai" a followed by a daddy and such a rough, smoked voice "OJO YOO YOO YOO SUKA ASFALT SHOULD";;

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №18794
 03.08.2009
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I’ll come back, oh... don’t write yet, Mom pop-up windows reads

Pause

Wicked (22:36:52 1/08/2009)
Yes, I got the herring, but the grass and the water are with you!

Wicked (22:37:06 1/08/2009)
I’ve also got white, I have to try it.

Wicked (22:37:17 1/08/2009)
They say you end up beastly.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №18793
 03.08.2009
About the Cat Sphinx:
I came to Kate yesterday, well, I say, show me a cat. I turned and talked to Leah. and Dasha. Then he turned: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I didn’t think I could scream so hard. Really was scared. I thought the cat: furry, small, sick. And there is such a stress... So they still say to me: Don’t scream, he’s scared! As if I am not afraid...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №18792
 03.08.2009
I want to tell you three very important words: I love you very much!
It is four words.
In other words, I hate mathematics.
-...>_<

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №18791
 03.08.2009
He wrote on the wall: “Russia for the Russians!” Then he recalled that he was a Tatar himself and wrote: "And the Tatars!" :)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №18790
 03.08.2009
It is necessary to add a section of basic quotes! Or you go on vacation - and now sit and look for where a grandfather on the green six came from...

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №18789
 03.08.2009
Serving in military unions.
The chief caught a drunk student on the stairs.
Their dialogue :
Q: Are you a student?
C: Not at all!
H is civil?
C: I am sure!

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №18788
 03.08.2009
Ya: Kumma is three years older than me, i.e. she is 36. She bought herself a saraphanchik such, bright, salad, up to the knees, with a wide belt. He sat down after washing.
Do you think she didn’t wear it? and st. with her figure.
Ya: We go to "Idea Style" her shirt to choose. Two under-drunk male creatures of middle age go side by side.
One to another: I can even see her trousers!
What is NDA? Thanks, or I was worried that I forgot to wear them.
Conclusion: Don’t try to upset an adult woman, she will do it for you. Well, when you’re 30, you already know yourself well.
Well when you’re 30 – you’re still not forgetting to wear trousers.

[ + -2 - ] Comment quote №18787
 03.08.2009
A cultural shock in our time is when you have sex with a twenty-year-old virgin.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №18786
 03.08.2009
It was during my student time in Tomsk. We and 2 boys rented an apartment and friends came to us constantly for beer and water.
Then came a friend, Sergey. They drank well, well, and it was time for him to go to the community, because it was closed at 12 a.m.
I ordered a taxi. 15 minutes later they came out of the entrance, a six-man stood next to him in the darkness. We approached the car, opened the back door, placed Serega and told the driver the address where to take a drunk friend. The car has gone, we are home, sleep out in front of the universe. The next day we came to the universe and Serega came, very badly looked at us and issued the phrase - "well you and swallows!!". We can’t understand anything and he told us.
He is in that car and he got hot, he tried to open the window and could not find the pen, communicated in the dark - there. Here he turned back and saw two police shirts. He moved forward and saw two men (a driver and next to him) with pursuits. Quickly trembling, he carefully asked them, “Uncles, where are you taking me?” Those, filled with laughter, answered: "Well where they said - there and we will go - to the South (South Square in Tomsk) to the general square No. 8". A few minutes passed, the mints rotted like horses,
Serena is not laughing. They came to the shelter, went out the driver, opened the door, said to Serege, not ceasing to roar: "Go out, come home." Serega carefully went out, saw his family and asked, "And how much do I owe you?" The mentions laughed even more and left. This is such an interesting student city Tomsk. and :)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №18785
 03.08.2009
On the agenda of the State Duma:
1st Banned Skype at the request of mobile operators.
2nd Prohibit cellular communications at the request of telephone companies.
Three Prohibit phone calls on mail request.
4 is ...

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №18784
 03.08.2009
I called the elevator with a double click.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №18783
 03.08.2009
Neurozx sadly remembered the times when by the melody of the call, one could recognize the model of the satellite.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №18782
 03.08.2009
to this:
The eye travels. From it two good guys of the kind of the country jump out and... dumbly drag through the dirt their pipe.

Epta, 640 kg, two of us, pulling...
They did not translate into Russians toli richari, toli p...boli.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №18781
 03.08.2009
I stand in the line, I look at the cashier... on the baggage: Fiona Love... And I think... Shrek?O O O O

*Vikuzko(s)

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №18780
 03.08.2009
O great internet, let me eat!

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №18779
 03.08.2009
I heard on TV:

...it angers me like the binoculars angered Kutuzov!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №18778
 03.08.2009
It was a long time ago, but was very pleased with the inscription "Who lost the mask" with a red mask (as it turned out later) on a concrete wall... And next to the inscription was a arrow, pointing to the wall-pulled mask in a somewhat "spotted" state, which was peacefully lying on the asphalt and waiting for its owner...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna