bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101321
 03.08.2014
Quote from Deep Blue Sea
And everything would be great, a terrible thriller, it all works, but since childhood I remember that whale sharks, although huge, but harmless like butterflies, swim quietly in the ocean, don't touch anyone and eat plankton, which cede through jade bows. A maximum of small fish can be eaten together with plankton. A lot of murderers, shit.
Interestingly, those who shoot this strawberry were aware, or for them a lot of knowledge, a lot of sorrow, the main thing, so that the worst came out?

They are not those who filmed the fools, they are probably the translators of the idiots. The film is about the Mako (black shark), one of the most aggressive and dangerous sharks.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101320
 03.08.2014
Skunny: I look at a stand with alcohol, next to pop. A little bit, it is interesting. And then hop! He takes a cognac, says “nothing terrible” and goes to the box.

The chief allowed...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №101319
 03.08.2014
From my boss’s speech:
"For this work, you can cut off your hands. They still look bad on their ass..."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101318
 03.08.2014
Andrei
My dad told me I had a woman. Until he said nothing more.

Tatiana
Has he reacted to those words?I am not 40 to be a woman.

Andrei
He said I found a good time to report this. I thought I shouldn’t say that through the toilet door.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101317
 03.08.2014
xxx: in the most besieged Saratov courtyard on the sewer seat sits a thoughtful lion
I thought it was an installation.
Then the dog came and took him away.
What a place such.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101316
 03.08.2014
This is:

Such some will have to grow up to Nabokov to understand the joke about the teleputzics!

It’s another thing, some (like me) will have to watch the TV puzzles to understand the joke about the TV puzzles. It is like that, the little ones :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101315
 03.08.2014
xxx: I just learned a luxurious Croatian word: pizdarya. It means disorder, poverty, and destruction. I’ll go to Mitchell and tell him what I see every day in his room. Let me not tell you that this is Feng Shui. The Croats know better.
yyy: There is a cultural Russian word "synarist". And a man.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101314
 03.08.2014
I see a painting on the balcony.
Ford Focus pulls a five on a tie.
There are menta with mirrors behind them.
The focus is slowing, the fifth in his ass))))
They wiped out the menta and went on.
- I drove 15 meters, the focus stopped again and the fifth time in his ass)))
It’s just like you’re fucking fucking? ?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101313
 03.08.2014
Commentary on YouTube:
Fuck, strong alcohol with an overdose does terrible things. The body is working and the consciousness is cut off and he knows what is controlling you. I once eaten, woke up with full fucking (eaten with friends with whom the apartment was removed, they say 3 hours fucking brains and had to cut me off), the comp is not on the table I think that for us, as it turned out I threw it myself from the balcony, and first carefully pulled all the wires and flashes out of it, the keyboard and mouse left for something. So I moved from AMD to Intel.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №101312
 02.08.2014
thank you!
In the evening, in the subway, she suddenly became sick, fainted. People helped, planted, poured water, and one guy stood and waved me with a newspaper so that the air would be more. The woman asked if she could take me home.
Thank you very much, you! Thank you for helping!
May each of these good people return a million times more!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №101311
 02.08.2014
An unknown little girl irritates a boy in the bus. is mother
If she were more, I would hit her.
Mother
You know that girls cannot be beaten.
I am a foot.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101310
 02.08.2014
Which profession to look for a wife?
MSX: Prostitutes earn well and are always in demand. If there are no customers, you can use it yourself. It is lucrative work at night, it shutters at home during the day, cleansing, cooking, children to school / school. Dinner will be served in the evening. It does not shrink in front of your eyes. He will come in the morning and eat sex. The perfect woman, caroche.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101309
 02.08.2014
XXX: Another employer 17:50 on Friday, I am in the store, the call. We reviewed your resume, etc. But her voice! After putting in a basket of foods, I told her everything about myself for ten minutes. How compelled I was to support projects on Delphi and mutate them into FireMonkey, how spit on it and decided to take the first steps in QT, that I would definitely get better... What, previously only hearing about OpenCV, is ready to fully immerse yourself in... immerse yourself... in... Images... Her... In Her... Astra Linux? Yes, I think I’m ready to work in safe systems for special purposes... I’m ready for anything... Even for safe relationships!
YYY: You are a pervert!
XXX is Dybala! You would hear her ask about foreign libraries. “Do you want to do this with me and my girlfriend at the same time?” the voice asked. Do you think I could answer no? :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101308
 02.08.2014
@knDominic: If you mixed a girl with a sleeping pill, and she is brown to you, then the evening is likely to be quite ordinary.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101307
 02.08.2014
Yesterday at 21:00
"Minister of Communications Nikolai Nikiforov registered as a blogger"
Zzz
Will Dimon be registered?

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №101306
 02.08.2014
Why everyone writes about cats, they are admired...although they are arrogant and full of humility creatures.
There was an unpleasant period in my life: I completed my diploma, there were problems with money and work, I quarreled with my parents... And I often cried about all this. And when I was crying, my cat was coming to me, kneeling, shaking and licking out his hands. No, there were no tears on my hands, so this revenge will not go. And in cat feeding "bad energy" I also don’t believe.
In my childhood, I was nursed by a cat. When I was born, my parents rented a small room in a wooden house (in the USSR, apartments were not bought, but given at the enterprise - 10-12 years after work), all the amenities in the yard, the kitchen in the woods, and washed in the summer there. I was born in the early summer, and when my mom left me sleeping in the room and went to wash/cook, the cat sleeping next to me when I woke up ran and called my mom. Not only ran out on the street from the snoring baby, but came to his mother and called after him. It's a pity that I don't remember him - the cat was 15 years old when I was born, and a couple of years later he died.
(Now the owner of two intelligent cats)

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №101305
 02.08.2014
Recently, in connection with the adoption of the next prohibitive law, a persistent thought arises: when will a law prohibiting firing and ripping in a public place come out?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101304
 02.08.2014
From the discussion "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies":
XXX: Is it that, at first Smog will fly, and then two hours of one battle?
Yyy: Nothing, there are precedents in cinema when battles are very long.
zzz: Von, in "Pearl Harbor" the plane crash was longer than it was in reality

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101303
 02.08.2014
No one is surprised that in the fairy tale, my mother called the girl Red Hat because she wore such a hat. But she could also be called the Grey Coat, and the Stopped Shoes, and the Girl Without T-shirts, and the Zero Brush.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101302
 02.08.2014
I’m talking my English with a Belgian.
Are you in your home or are you somewhere?? to
by skype. Everyone who starts to say how good I am and whether I don’t want to get married, I invite in winter to Moscow! My husband must either be stronger than Napoleon to withstand her, or smarter to give up and come in autumn.

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