Do you want kids from me?
MMM: Yes of course!
DDD: is it a lot?
mm: three pieces
DDD of things? Are our children measured by things?
mmm: no, b... portions and kilograms!

MNeO: I realized that you and I became old when I went out today and saw children playing football in the yard)))
and Zero?? to
MNeO: Their ball was not dropped under any vehicle due to low landing (((

XXX: I go to bed with my grandmother
XXX: Throw me, 3 bodies, no one at home, computer, net and....
XXX: Against the contrary!!!!!!! to

Imagine you are in a large company of unfamiliar people. You know no one, no one knows you. And here, you want to impress this company with your sense of humor. You want to tell a joke. A joke should be told in such a way that people around you really laugh. They didn’t shrink, didn’t smile out of politeness, didn’t shut their face with their hands, trying to hide their disappointment in you and in your joke... And really laughed. I wanted to tell your joke to my friends.

was presented? The good guys!

And now, please, imagine this every time before pressing "Add" and putting your next UG here, okay?

Just think about whether they will laugh at what you want to tell a large company of strangers to you.

Return to Funny Boots! In the name of the cat, the shredder and St. Admin!

c) Gissen

My boyfriend has a cool cat, I push him - he is fluffy and sick. But the visit to the fifth happened terrible - he took me as inevitable and in honor of this, apparently,... noticed.
He pleased my sweetheart:
Shame on me, shame on this girl!

Vlad is! What do you do?
Vampirko: No... nothing special.
Vampirko: The girlfriend of Jura.
Vlad: O_o
Vampirko: I am waiting! I am waiting for a girlfriend!! to
Vlad: plyaja... change nick... cute (

My cat started to drag on the balcony (1 floor) chicken legs in sauce. How long have you broken your head from??? Yesterday the call, I open, on the threshold is the neighbor all in the pasta and some food stuff.. holds the cat for the skin of the chicken foot in the teeth. To tear it out is not real... both hungry and angry... Neighbor – I have this type of cat bistro, according to you?! I quickly run to the balcony, find a cat cat cat there in the morning, scratch the mosquito, put on a plate, next to the salad leaves and cucumbers, bring the neighbor with the words - no cat second hand.

Comment on YouTube to the video "Boris ends" (where the lamb attacks the men).

borik: shit why baron boris called me now all in school rjut(((( boris ends boris ends((((

Sales of furniture in Krasnoyarsk:
"Our furniture will take any strange curves of your body"

I am still a computer worker and an avid mtsbshnik, as a result of which the room is overwhelmed by a bunch of devices and a bicycle is parked in the middle. Dialogue with Mom.
Mother: pick up already big in the garage, it takes a lot of space!
I: If I clean it, I will go to the garage with him!
Mother: stunned at her great ones and compasses! My granddaughter will not be like that.
I: And we’ll see again! (Expressing sarcasm to the phrase about grandchildren)
Congratulations to the technician!

I am returning home from work, in the entrance hangs an advertisement: "Dear tenants! As always, only in our country, again, will turn off hot water from 02.08 to 14.08!!and "

A friend in the neighboring room (one). I hear AAAA! How well! O God! I’ll go and see what he’s doing there. I go in, and he simultaneously digs in both ears with cotton sticks with an expression of ecstasy on his face...

I walk the dog in the morning. Pavlov passes the road. He looks at us, he says with a disgusting voice, and hides himself in the forest on the other side of the street. I immediately thought on yesterday’s mushroom soup – that the mushrooms were wrong. But the dog did not eat mushroom soup. He also actually saw Poppy. A slightly harsh such a dog sat on my foot and cried a little. I stand — digest information — I see a man running through the street and children with him. The man sees our and the dog’s rows and asks, “Where did he go?” and the children run ahead of him and shout “Sasha!” Return to"
Pavlin Saša on our street. I am afraid.

I work in the club.
The town is small.
Standing near the bar, a man approaches, not apparently a local, and asks:
“Isn’t it a rumor that your DJ is crawling Dram & Bays and going out dancing alone under him? :D
I say it is me :(

News by Mail Ru
The strongest magnetic storm in five years has started on Earth
Nikita Gigurda declared himself God.

In short, all of itself rough, unbarred for 2 weeks, sat in the electric.
In front of him is a gentleman.
The motto is "smile if you want me".
I am bored, I sit smiling, and he as he saw me - sweated :D

Today on the street saw: a white minibus so fun rolling through the courtyards, from the window to all the volume plays "we will be together... alwaysaaaa.. about her.. say only hha..". in the office "Novokuznetskoy funeral office"

In honor of the beginning of the academic year in the Novosibirsk Krematorium will be held a concert "Soul Therapy" with the participation of Mark Tishman, as well as the Novosibirsk group "Alpha and Omega", consisting of ceremonial masters of the crematorium, during the concert you can buy crematorial souvenirs, among which lamps and candles. There will also be a playground and a café, where the spectators will be able to eat cakes and sandwiches. There will be no alcohol in the sale"

xxx: took Tanya with the little from the nursery, came home, after a couple of hours the call: "You from the maternity department are worried. Did we give you the boy?" O_o

Hello to Max! What are you doing?
WOW, Sereg, how did you decide to learn English?
1:Net, blyat, raskladka ne menyaetsa ((