bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №51369
 07.08.2011
I work as a repair computer.
In the morning, my grandmother wakes me up, I barely open my eyes, everything is blurred, I pretend what to do and say:
Just go see something wrong, you need to replace the wood. The weather, I will reboot.
As I went to sleep, I didn’t try to wake up anymore.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №51368
 07.08.2011
XXX: I smoke a forum on the sale of barrel. Subject: transportation, motorcycle; advertisement: I sell a running road

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №51367
 07.08.2011
I couldn’t put a cap on the flash. I looked inside, some white hernia. I ask my 3-year-old daughter:
Sasha, what a cacao in the cap.
She is so bad to me:
This is not a cocoa! This is Pellets!! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №51366
 06.08.2011
In 11th grade I was given 30 rubles for lunch every day... So I had to starve about a week to buy a large pack of condoms.

Luckily I got 10p.

[ + 64 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51365
 06.08.2011
I hereu from my parents) I went to visit them on those holes, they sit in different rooms, they don't talk)) In general, as I understood from their screams on each other, my mother worked at night, bed linen was washed, but not smoothed, and the bat was told to lick him and bed)) Well he broke this case turned out to be like this)) And when the morning mother came and let me shout on him - for him the most terrible secret in life was uncovered, after which they fought))) He thought his whole life that the rubber was for convenience, and his mom stated "that your sweaty sofa would not be provoked and then it could be sold as a new" :D
PS: Both are 50 years old this year))

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №51364
 06.08.2011
XXX: I was flying
XXX: Hands are hurt now
YYY: Was it hard?

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №51363
 06.08.2011
C Mails of Answers:
Which lip (upper or lower) is better to kiss a girl?
The best answer:
It depends on how you turn.)

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №51362
 06.08.2011
XXX: He is a major! He was always in excess. He could even afford to place a stick in the tetris horizontally!

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №51361
 06.08.2011
I live in a small town, little of what we have in the shops is sold cookies called "glyuki" and on the TV there is a local advertisement "a huge selection of pants, shorts and sweaters in the store "World Cotton!!!!", pilaja, so yesterday I received a text message: " You were attacked by laziness? Please call a taxi "OIL"!!!! Why did they all smoke???? to

[ + 72 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51360
 06.08.2011
Our admin yesterday broke out articles about all the employees of the office in Wikipedia. With photos and references. I was pleased with the article on the head. There is a picture where he dances drunk at six in the corporation. Now admina is afraid even the director...

Str Str

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №51359
 06.08.2011
I bought 75 discs of 3.5 (needed for a CNC machine), so the seller felt so happy that he gave his flash drive for 1 gig

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №51358
 06.08.2011
Conversation of wife with husband:
I went to my grandmother tomorrow.
M: I do not want.
I’ll go with my lover!
M: - And then I'll stay home with my mistress, but I haven't chosen with which :R
On the left or on the right =)

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51357
 06.08.2011
Lisochka: here we are in the workshops chasing a man on such.. well there are such small machines for transporting all kinds of parts, boxes and all kinds of things, so here, this man on this machine flag made a pirate with a skull and bones and walks in a feed.
She drives like this, holds the fur, flags on the wind.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №51356
 06.08.2011
There is a tumultuous discussion of photos of Selina Kyle (women-cats)from the future film about Batman.

Michelle Pfeiffer should have been invited to this role. She would be a stray old cat living among the garbage tanks, with a dwarf belly, sick breasts, teeth and a dog-bite ear. And when she would jump from the roof to the roof, it was enough to jump only to get stuck with her front legs, and with the back she would crawl over the wall, taking only from the third attempt, complainingly soft.


[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №51355
 06.08.2011
I am in the kitchen now. The radio is set to the first channel. Suddenly I hear:
Are you not a transgender?
and no.
Are you a girl?
Yes of course.

I’ve never run into a room before to turn on the show "Let’s get married".

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №51354
 06.08.2011
My friend asks forgiveness:

Catherine, this is Alexander.
No, no... It’s not the ham you knew, but corrected and updated. Your words burned deeply in my soul and I decided to change my behavior.
I will be tremendous and gentle, like the first snowmen on the cold ice, I will NEVER say the words "I will never say the words" again, I will even forget who women are!!! to
And keep silent!! I said to be silent and to forget!!! I’m sorry, it’s me with my own... In the morning I’ll bring you violins (from the window) and we’ll be together, with pleasure.
We will breathe the smell of passing through (Oh, God... where did they come from here????) And then I’ll bring you coffee to bed (the old but reliable dish) and
We will immerse ourselves in the joy of the oral... e-e... taste sensation, called the “Nescafe.” Yes, I’m an irreparable romantic and I like their advertising.
And when you get up and the sun will golden your shoulders, I will get the paints and capture you in all your glory on the molbert.
Hm... or on a pallet? My God, how difficult it is to be a punk...) Then I gently kiss and say - "Doy work, I want to eat...." =%)))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №51353
 06.08.2011
Cold water from the crane for hot water is still warmer than cold water from the crane for cold water

[ + 108 - ] Comment quote №51352
 06.08.2011
The xxx :

I cooked the cupcake:

YYY :
This is cooking +1
Grassroots + 5
Production of poison +7

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №51351
 06.08.2011
XXX: Snow-do not go, they will fly away and you will not catch.

Fuck you, will you catch it?! to

And Giri, shit, and they won’t go away!! to

[ + 98 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51350
 06.08.2011
Tell me, is my friend not astute: he sold the car, the buyer turned out to be a very beautiful girl. So he stunned with her, married and got money, a car, and a beautiful wife.

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