She wanted to get married so much that when she took the pen on the wrong side, she still signed it.
@Roberthumor

<frostfall> someday I will become a geneticist and raise mosquitoes that will suck fat.

This is strange:

>To all who cry out about the Post of Russia is dedicated:

All the salt of the long delivery of mail mail by the Russian Post is that the data of the shipment for a long time is in the sorting centers, waiting when the sufficient number of letters and packages will be collected to be sent by container. Who needs faster delivery (namely courier), then please to your services - EMS, DHL, TNT, >Antanta, etc. and so forth, but the price is equal. Cheap and fast you will never >do.

Why then my emails in the U.S. or Canada go a maximum of 2 days and cost less than half a dollar? But when I send the same letters to or from Russia, then from 2-3 weeks of delivery they are just in the sorting centers of Russia? Probably the containers in Russia are very large :)

The U.S. has the worst education system I know. The knowledge of our graduates is lower than in third world countries. How has the scientific elite of the United States yet to collapse? We produce a generation of idiots – watch our TV and reality shows. And I’ll tell you: Amrik has a secret weapon called a H-1B foreign scientist visa. Forget about Google, forget about Silicon Valley – all this was not done by Americans, but by immigrants. The U.S. sucks the brains better from all over the world – India, China, Russia. And we are only producing idiots".

American physicist Mitio Kaku

Say the three words that make my heart beat more often.
I’ll bring the eggs!
Yippidy yi yi yi yippity yay!The Happy Wizg

Mom, I’ll tell you a joke! My dad forced me to take a package of condoms with me on the trip. We started to battle, we blasted alone, we were burned by Yurić, everyone was so rotting, so rotting.
Sasha, why such a long journey?
“Yes, you know, my grandmother unpacked my suitcase, and here is the package unpacked...

Today, the 4-year-old son for a long time stumbled on the talismans of the London Olympics, after which he said
Dad, it has to be killed.

No, I understand everything, the cat is the master in the house, but when this wool pidaras goes to bed with my ass in my plate of undernourished mango and so falls asleep - it's somehow too much =/

The distribution of "likes" has added another meaning to the word "sweet"...

I watch news, TV channel Russia, on the screen a journalist speaks to a doctor of a local hospital:
You don’t even have a knife!!! to
And we don’t need them...
What if someone broke his leg?! to
Oh, spit down...
The Russian Medicine.

In front of me in the subway:
- Undetermined gender lochmatoe Pierro in a combination with rounds and in the beaches of Vietnam;
- a couple of slightly dirty gastarbayters;
- bald stroke for 40, nervously beating fingers on the tablet,
- a two-meter catch, well just a Macho Macho;
- and fragile babulence in curls, with redhead and in a hat.

I wonder how from this rag statistics manages to create an average moscovite?

My mom said that the cinema on color would sit, so my brother and I played black and white.
Yyy: I have a father and a brother sitting, and there is no cinema.

The donkey asks the lion:
Why are you the king of the beasts and not I?
Well, I have a grey!
“I also have a gray,” says the donkey.
I have a tail at the end of my tail.
Oh, and I have a fist!
And so a few arguments the donkey parishes.
Leo thought and said:
I can last longer in sex!
The Earl:
Not a fa-a-act!
Do we check?
Let us check!
The Lion:
Chur, I am the first! Take the time!
Going on a donkey and... 21 minutes. It is all, finished.
Then the donkey, and... It took!
The lion looks at the clock with anxiety: 15 minutes have passed, and the donkey does not think of exhaling. Then everything happens very quickly.
The lion in cellular numbers the lion:
What do you do to make me finish faster?
“Wow, Leo... I’m moving.
The lion begins to actively spin his ass - the donkey, at least henna, continues to sneeze.
The lion begging in the bell:
What about O-O?! to
I touch you slightly with the eggs.
The lion, continuing to feverishly whip his back, with all his ability to grab the donkey with his nails for the eggs, and the donkey in the 20th minute violently finishes, falling in exhaustion.
The Lion is proud:
Do you recognize that I am the king of the beasts?! to
He breathed, closing his eyes:
- Lion, you are not the king... you are BO-O-O-OH! 

I send a friend a link to a photo of a girl in a Gadget costume from Chip'i'Dale.
xxx: Do you want to go?
YYY: Well I could, yes
What is Subway?
XXX is nothing. Test of professional suitability.
YYYYYYYYYY
and how? has passed?
xxx: Boy, you wanted to get the mice out of a child cartoon...
XXX is finally over!! to

comments on Kilimaplis))

I fully support you!!If a child kills animals, then he will get to humans in the future! and cats I adore, for them I can splash any stomach!! to

Before the operation they were given to wear special socks so that no thrombosis formed. Dressed and I went to the operating room.
Just think – I’m in socks and two nurses... but last time it cost me half my salary!

She put her one-year-old son to sleep, his grandmother calls from Ukraine. In order not to disturb the child, I go out with the phone on the balcony. I talk, I tell my mom something. And here from the 4th floor, that under my balcony, a whirling and drunken voice of a man, something begins to weep exhausted and unclearly on the whole street. Mom gently in the phone: "Uti my beloved grandson there speaks!"
I was roasting so much that I barely broke the phone)))

Olympics *The Voice of the Orc * - You need more gold!

You have already borrowed your poor jokes about the "British scientist" who was lost in the woods... He is from Harvard.

It’s in the United States, Dallas.

zzz - What is the best way to wipe the egg from the white carpet?
XXX - Try to use the cat.