We work with the client and fill out the application form.

I: Have you finished? Where it ends, put a large English Z.

Q: What is war here? Where are you dragging me?

I: Z in the sense of "end of the text", so that no one can fill the signed form further.

An uncomfortable pause.

When I was not taken into the army again, I had to go to work again. And here I, completely bald in a sweater with a collar at the ears, come to an interview in some communication salon. I look like a young but very promising criminal recently from places not so far away. There is a crowd of potential employees in the audience. The scheme is such as, for example, “those who have completed only nine classes are not suitable for us.” Someone stands up and leaves. With every question the crowd rides. I am not leaving. I have my bald skull and I am already preparing to work. I notice that with every new question the recruiters are not looking at me well. People are getting smaller, and I am sitting. Apparently they don’t believe me. But I really know how to sell, I have a confident computer, I have a college diploma, a regional license and so on. I even thought that the recruitment of the new staff would only end when I, the suspicious kid, left. And here we were two: me and some major in a shirt, pants and a Hollywood hairstyle. The recruiting staff decided, apparently, to repeat the key moment loudly and clearly.

Once again, we remind you that if you have judgment, then you are not suitable for us.

An uncomfortable pause. And then suddenly the major stands up and leaves. I remain alone. Staff recruits are broken and, not knowing what to do, look around. Finally, a very young girl says with a trembling voice:

We cannot accept you...

Why is? Is it because I am bald and scary?

They looked around. They silence. I wanted to offer them to break into the cards on whether to take me to work or not. But I did not stand. In short, I felt sorry for these young HRocks and I just left. At the entrance there was a major and smoking.

“I have no conviction,” he said. It’s really interesting how they make you feel ?

They could not, and I left myself.

You are beautiful)))

🛩 Weather forecast over Moscow: Strong fog. The plane starts to land, the pilot is not visible. Suddenly, a skyscraper appears from the fog, someone blows in the window. The pilot stands up and cries:

Where are we?

in response:

In the plane!

The pilot sneezes, and confidently, with a metric accuracy, leads the plane to land. After landing, the pilot asks him:

Igor, how did you do that?

I asked a simple question and got a 100% correct but completely useless answer. Then I realized that we were flying past the 1C support office. I know the road further.

The most important art is the art of sophisticated deception. Not your moving pictures.

She sent her daughter to the sanatorium (she was five years old). When registering, a doctor, a serious man, asks her:
Do you know how to write letters?
I know, she says proudly.
Can you write your name?
I can.
He gives her a blank, she brings Masha out on him in business. And then he reads to her that she has signed a document on compliance with the regime (not to noise, not to battle, and so on). Her disappointed eyes were...
And I told her, “Before you sign something, you have to read it first.”

Why would Russian villages and cities without gas not freeze, and Europe without gas freeze?

I needed to replace the toilet. Bought, delivered, the master came and did everything. He calls me to look, stands in the door and says:

Ready to try it!

I look at him in stupor, in my head a lot of thoughts (need to be with him? Can not later? Can I close the door? I do not know how much I would still stand in confusion, but soon he breathed himself pressed the button and with the words everything worked, left.

We will not sell the house in a mortgage.

Why is?

Strong opposition to mortgage

What arguments does the daughter have against such a buyer?

None, she is against it.

Do you know what a mortgage is and how mortgage transactions take place?

No is!

He has a friend with whom he meets a couple of times a year. He asks me how to remove my stomach and get tighter. I start reading him a lecture about BJU, workouts, visceral fat and so on. I talk for 10 minutes, he shakes his head, asks questions, listens carefully to me. Here I think of an obvious nuance:

When does she fly?

And tomorrow...

I went to Ashan with my husband. The mood is good, we joke, we laugh... (and we laugh very loudly.) I went to the shelves with bread and I, in parallel with a funny conversation, look for the right brand.

Here behind it is a claim, one-on-one as the grandmother in the video: "Can you laugh elsewhere?"

I turn around and see a splashing aggressive man (the author of the claim) and his wife with a child (the latter has some obviously touched look). And you can see that happiness in this family does not smell.

Usually I get lost in such situations, and then I instantly gave out without losing optimism in my voice: "And what, we are preventing you from suffering?!“”

To my surprise, the man squeezed and hastily retreated, capturing the family. I forgot about bread.

XXX: Sometimes you kill a cockroach and you realize that he may be going to his family. After such thoughts, you usually order the disinfection of the entire apartment.

You won’t get rid of someone lying on the sofa.

In one Moscow school a boy stopped going to class. One week he didn’t go, two... Leo didn’t have a phone, and his classmates, on the advice of the teacher, decided to go home to him. The door was opened by Levi’s mother. Her face was very sad. The boys greeted and asked:
“Why doesn’t Leo go to school?” My mom replied sadly, “He won’t be studying with you anymore. He was operated. and failed. The lion is blind and cannot walk.
The boys were silent, looked around, and then one of them proposed, "And we will take him to school in turn."
and carry home.
- And the lessons will help to do, - interrupting each other, the classmates ticked.
My mother had tears in her eyes. She took her friends into the room. A little weather, touching the way with his hand, Leo came out to them with a bandage in their eyes. The guys froze. Only now did they really understand what misfortune happened to their friend. Leo said with difficulty, “Hello.” And then from all sides he said, “I’ll go after you tomorrow and take you to school. I will tell you that we went through algebra. I am in history.
Leo did not know whom to listen to, and only stirred his head confusedly.
There were tears on my mother’s face. After leaving, the boys made a plan - who comes in when, who explains what subjects, who will walk with Leo and drive him to school. In school, a boy, who was sitting with Leo on the same table, quietly told him during the lesson what the teacher was writing on the board. And how dumb the class was when Leo answered! How everyone was delighted with his five, even more than his own! Leopard studied very well. The whole class was better. In order to explain a lesson to a friend in trouble, you need to know it yourself. The guys tried.
In the winter they began to drive the lion on a slide. The boy loved classical music, and his classmates went with him to symphony concerts.
He finished the school with a gold medal, then entered the institute. And there found friends who became his eyes. After the Institute, Leo continued to study and eventually became a world-renowned mathematician, academician Pontraghine. Do not count people who have seen for good.
Lev Semjonovich Pontryagin (1908-1988) - Soviet mathematician, one of the greatest mathematicians of the 20th century, academic of the USSR Academy of Sciences, who lost his vision at the age of 14.

With a logopedist. work of the whisperers.
What are socks and socks related to?
Child of wool.
L: Yes, they are wrapped out of wool. How are clothes made?
R is swallowed.
L: And who then?
R is shuffle.

A guy once wrote to me. We met, talked and came to know who was doing what. I studied at the university at the time and was a public assistant with an investigator in the investigative department. He practiced there and was delayed. It was curious. I write to him all this, sharing dreams about how I might one day come there to work for money, and I get in response some wild: "How can you? Boys are sitting in the human area! A waste creature! You are a creature!” He blocked me.

I did not have to, but I decided for myself that I would not meet in Classmates anymore.

It’s bad when you’re all well. You don’t know what to rejoice at first.

An indicative example of laconicity is associated with the Macedonian Tsar Philip II. In a letter to Sparta, he wrote: “I advise you to surrender immediately, because if my army enters your lands, I will destroy your gardens, enslave people and destroy the city.”
The Spartans answered briefly, “If.”

One day, a wise man said nothing. The times came very restless, and the interlocutors seemed very unreliable.

I went on a trip 35 years ago after a night on a trolley bus. He sat down and immediately fell asleep - the night turned out to be very heavy, and even the younger cut his teeth, and the older one was infected with salmonella. At the end, the driver woke up - the conductors were not there at the time. He crossed the road, sat on the same trolley... and fell asleep again. At the other end, the driver, waking me up, realized that I was not a buoy. He asked where to wake up and woke up at the right stop.

Since then, I have not been driving sitting, only standing. still cut, you just start to see a dream, your legs bend, the body falls, but the brain intercepts control, you wake up sharply on half-bowns...

The people around disperse, think naric or alcoholic, and this is just a working guy going home at night.

There lived in our dormitory a boy who had a hamster.

In the summer, all the students leave the dormitory. That guy has gone too. The hammer left. He left the refrigerator with the foods he turned off. But that’s not all, I left a potato under the bed and a pot of soup on the table.

Now to the most terrible. In general, after a couple of days without the owner, the hamster declined, lost weight, and got out of his cage. I went looking for food and found a pot with soup. He went to her where he drowned safely. And this is all good: the turned-off refrigerator, the soup with the drowned hamsters and the potatoes under the bed were lying in a closed jacquard room, from early July to mid-August.

Durban in the summer is a very warm city. And when everyone slowly began to come together, the neighbors began to hear that shit.

I called the commander with the keys. and seized. A bunch of cockroaches, mosquitoes that eat the potatoes, larvae and a bunch of flies near a pot with soup. A very smelly refrigerator. The refrigerator had to be thrown out, not washed. The room had to be washed for a week, the wallpaper failed all this, everything had to be ripped, washed and washed. The first day, it was done in respirators. The man was expelled from the community, without the right to settle.