We were sitting at the party, we talked about what color the begemot is.
He is grey.
2: the brown
3: blue, but it is only in the cartoons!
What a mysterious animal.

Of what they have, people are most willing to share their problems.

In our school, a young teacher, herself recently sitting behind the board, was entrusted to somehow conduct a lesson of drawing – in addition to her natural sciences and biology. Already at the first lesson, she realized that the mosquitoes would die from the etudes with scattered gips pears. She decided to revive the lesson and offered those who wanted instead of pear to come up with her unknown beast and paint it in three projections, along with the skeleton and internal organs. We all wanted to be one. But it turned out to be difficult – all three projections at first violently contradicted each other. We brought out a bunch of washing gums and at the end of the lesson presented our creatures thoroughly, in volume - my example then dreamed of me and ran a long track, slightly shrinking.

The teacher easily gave us five for drawing, but she took the entire statue of drawings with her for the next lesson, biology. Or natural science, I don’t remember. Then the defeat began. For each of our monsters in turn, she explained at what minute or so and from what specifically it would throw away the monster - whom the heart caught, who was suffocated, somebody's bones broken at the very first step. For the few survivors of our crazy zoo, she has picked up suitable habitats for them - who is the mud, who is the pampas. They all died of starvation or were consumed. But their lives were not in vain - the most surviving got five. No, this fun lesson was full, and Minober would hardly approve of it. But until now, from the whole school program, I remember him with warmth. I looked at the many strange creatures I met later in life with admiration, trying to guess what the perfection of the design is, and why it is actually still alive running on the light. I even stopped dropping on ants from a burning plastic bottle – what’s called, you can’t build, don’t break.

The school was not late, and I will not even remember her name, unfortunately.
It was just her student practice. But I remember the most amazing of the creatures we created in that lesson – it was invented by the Girl of Light. She often saw her grandmother's inserted jaw in a glass of water and easily threw it in three projections, and made some kind of mole from behind, so as not to pair with the skeleton. This monster brought her a five in drawing and a three in biology, dying on the way to food. The next day, the teacher came excited with some thick-walled booklet and showed there a photo of one of the dolomite Alpine reptiles - this whole reptile was made from the jaw of an extinct mole, ammonite seems to be without any signs of a skeleton. The light of the three was immediately corrected to five with a plus – because these inserted jaws with a tail proved to be the only viable creature we created. It has lived and lived successfully for millions of years, and apparently even ate something. To comfort the teacher of the Light, she said, “Don’t be upset, you guessed correctly that you would still die.”

The Armenian Radio:
How can the Russian government stop corruption?
With the help of Suicide.

From the news:
Rospotrebnadzor banned “smetanka” and “пломбирчик”
One of the comments: Milk is fresh, sterilized, pasteurized and condensed.
A cow has four breasts.

The Anatolyb:
The Tolkienists are shit!
Here, Straustrup invented C++, so there were so many poetry, prose and fairy tales written on it.
and Mezomish:
How many anecdotes...

Hyblos: Let's be fair - most of the C++ is written hyblos.

Where did you see the naked people? Are your female breasts annoying? So in the West, feminists have long been fighting for the right of women to walk topless. By the way, I never understood why female breasts are nasty, and sweaty, hairy male breasts are the norm.

Hope dies last
Grandmother Nadia Horses?

Maturity is when the news that your girlfriend is pregnant brings joy, not a panic attack.

A woman, voluminous, talking on a cell phone: it wasn't me dropped, this is just my cheek on the button fell...

Taste is what a man feels when he eats anime.

The carpenter flew to him. on the third floor. You can think.
I live on the thirteenth. I go into the kitchen, sitting on the floor. Not 5 cm, but quite large. I took it carefully. I think once you get here, it won’t break. Throw it out of the balcony. So he opened his wings in a fraction of a second and flew on the 15th. So I think that: either the third floor for them is a cooling, or it is a game like that - it flies on the first, and the neighbors let it until the 16th, in turn.

YYY: A) How are you at all?
I recently decided to introduce my brother and sister. I invited you home for tea. First they were embarrassed, then they talked. I am pleased
xxx: I went to the kitchen, put the tea and make sweets.
I return - they are sitting behind my comp (which has recently broken) on some site, and discussing fees...
XXX: I ask what you are talking about. They turn to me with astonishment, at the same time they say - you, women, do not understand, then they look at each other, laugh sweetly and continue their conversation.

Rei: viiiiiii, I have a hollow wai-faaaai on the balcony!))
Rei: Something tells me I will hate this winter...

The cat loves the cat, the bird loves the spider, the sky loves the sun, and I love to eat.

From Habr.

YYY: What did you want to hear from the accountant? and :)

Zzzz: This is probably:
I checked with the most recent signatures, the result was negative, but the doubts in my soul were so deep that I decided to analyze the disassembled code. The result dropped me into disappointment and I invited you to share with you my modest opinion about this ambiguous creation of a programmer genius.

If my accountant had answered that, I would probably have resigned ;)

by Mykola!! to
The show!
Have you heard the Android calls?! to
Well how?
and Andrew-Yu Shaa!
I would kill...
and f4ber

xxx: Do you know how an old Jew feels in line when he is the last?
XXX is unnatural.

YYY: And I decided to put my tattoo on my hand.
XXX What?
YYY: Well, the man’s face is so steep that they often wear on the shirts.
XXX: In the beret, what?
YYY: Well yes! And a bit of hair from under the beret comes out - an upset musician!
The fool is Ernesto Che Guevara!

Dear citizen!

"Given the popularity of BOR, there is almost a 100% probability that someone
The present is the future president.
of Russia.
So here.
Walk out of the BOR, szuco, and march to study, work, or what else you do there. Because of your
today’s lazy years through 20-30-40 country
It can be overwhelmed."

I fear the country will get angry before I get my job. I share your outrage, but I have to remind you that both my predecessors and I are at best half a matter. All destruction begins in the heads, in the people, and if there are lazy people and saboteurs around, I can do little. Do not be inert, and do not expect that suddenly a good wizard will fly and do everything right at once. A country’s prosperity is the daily hard work of millions, not the stroke of a magic rod.

With respect,
your future president.