Recognize that you are an insensitive, ungrateful animal!
M: Okay, I admit...
G: Please prove it!

Victor Tsoi was not only a rock musician, but also a predictor of the future!
In the film "The Needle" he said this phrase:
People in the world are divided into two categories: some are sitting on the tubes, and others need money.

He would know when he was right! Now the situation in our country is such that people are divided into 2 categories: Some are sitting on tubes, and others need money =)

When I was young, I was often taken for a boy. And one day it happened that my parents could not take me out of the room for a long time, and I had to sit in the company of two guards all night. The case is closer to 8, in the winter street... And then one guard says to another: “Eh, Sing, girls are missing...”. I, having decided that I was again taken for a boy, interfered in the conversation: "And I am not a girl?" To which the guards who bowed from the whistle replied: "Neeeet". I never understood at the time what was wrong with me, but in any case, I abandoned the artist.

From the news: "MGU students conducted research on the cold river".
As a result of research, the students concluded that the river is called so not by chance.

After rising at work to a new level, he decided to change his working style of clothing from grey to something lighter.
Gandalf and Yopta :)

A friend in Turkey recently rested, in a chic 5* hotel, predominantly populated by Russians and Germans, tells: after dinner, everyone is mostly gathered in the live music hall with spectators’ seats below and on the balconies... here is the orchestra going to perform, as suddenly the light is turned off throughout the hotel, 10 seconds of absolute silence, and somewhere from the darkness from the balcony the phrase is said very loudly with a male bass voice: BEY NEMCEV! Next follows the wild rust of the whole room)))

C is honey. The girl’s question:
Hi to! This is the question – when a white girl has lost her virginity with her first white man, and then after some time she marries another white man, can she then give birth to a dark child from the second man, if the first white man before her had sex with a black woman?

dReX) went out on the balcony, wanted things that dried off to remove, removed the cowards, family members, to shoot a lot more, the first thing that came to mind to put them on the head, dressed, remove the rest, and then I wanted to look and look on the sides.
dReX: Looked out, from the neighboring balcony looks a mummy, I am with cowards on my head, the sight is shaken, dark, she with the scream "Bl*t s*ka!" is removed and a knock is heard, then laughter, hysterical laughter.
dReX: I’m sitting there, I think I might get to go...

I remember when I was four years old, my father told me how his grandparents were beaten every day in the army for two weeks in a row. The picture before my eyes appeared quite clear, because there were a lot of grandparents on the street. And so, until the age of 10, I hated all the people over 60, because it was THEY who mocked my father at the time.

They run away from people, especially those who think that no one else lives on the planet besides them.
He walks out of the supermarket and... stops. He lives under the tender rays of the summer sun, squeezing his eyes, looking around, getting a cigarette, smoking. He is great, great and mighty. And to the left and to the right are mothers with children and those whose clocks are constantly ticking.
Someday I will stop simply telling them that somehow they need to go forward and possibly to the side, and go with the whole nose under the ass.
Be people!

Where the world goes :(
I just watched the picture:
In the cafe at the table, men sit and drink beer, and at the neighboring table, women 30 years old.
The men asked the women to be quieter. In response, they received a wave of outrage and a wagon of mate in full voice.

Today, we all see the soldiers of the invisible front.

I remember when I was in the army, I was giving accounts. The commander-in-chief gathered us in the square and said, “Well, guys, it’s time for military-sports multi-fighting, who of you is strong in what?” We shouldn’t fall into dirt what we’ve been carrying for so long.
Everyone is standing, bumping, I said from a gun, if so, and three kilometers in boots I can. And also on the overlap, and on the thin end with a parachute. One even remembered rugby. And here the commander and says, and swimming, how do we surrender?
Well, here I am, I think it’s time for me to act as well. He immediately came out of all the cows. And nothing, I say that in this system is without five minutes of swimming, which in childhood was able to deprive this title only the damned angina Ebola.
OK, replied our Jedi of the armed forces. I heard it. You will participate there, Balamute.
The most interesting thing was that they brought us to the swimming pool. On the road they said we would swim only fifty meters. I was happy, but not for long. When I climbed to the start box, I saw a carefully laid shell and a machine next to it. The referee’s gun did not leave any doubt. Dress, stick to all the buttons, machine in the left hand. to start.
Since then, I’ve never told anyone that I’m swimming well.
We are dedicated to our Olympic swimming team.

Here is Russia!
As a mortgage take, so the salary does not allow!
And as children form, so the income is exceeded!

A few days ago I crossed the border between Belarus and Ukraine. Distance between customs offices is 10 km. And the road makes a bend in one place, just next to the viewing tower. A man stands on the tower and looks into the binoculars somewhere in the distance. Well, I think the job is responsible. In 10 days I go back, the same guy stands, looks in the binoculars somewhere in the distant forest... funny, I think... I come closer and I understand how bad things are in the fraternal republic... the border of Belarus is guarded by a manicure with a binoculars and in the costume of the OZK...

HH: Hi, how did you get there?
ууу: hello, well - all week "Agro-fisting" engaged))
Q: Did you want to write - agro-fitness? But the potatoes...
WOW: How did I write? Oh the blue...

The client calls:
I was unable to pay the loan because we had a mail robbery. I just came when I was robbed. Can I pay tomorrow morning?

My mother is a director in Moscow. Not that it would be very famous - it is not so important now. He mostly plays series. In general, in the script of one of his series (detective), there is an episode with gift paper. In order not to get worse, the director decided to consult with the actual lawyer about some subtleties.
...
R: And if one person is written a gift, and the other killed him - he can take possession of the apartment?
Yu: No, a copy is kept in the notarial offices, and the notary himself can be a witness.
Q: What if a notary is killed too? Burning the office?
Q: Who are we going to protect?

My niece is about to have her first birthday, I torture my sister, what to give:
XXX is
Let’s think, or I’ll give something in the spirit of my grandmother, an unnecessary useless shit.

YYYY
Here is the list, choose :)
The book gun.
Developing toy for a child from 12 years (from 12 as they write what)
- plasticine
A catch on a rope
Plastic cup

This is what I really love with Leslie.
- camouflage
pieces of paper
All the strangers (All the strangers)
The cat food.
The Cat Water
Dirty fantasy

So choose it)

Conversation with an accountant:
D: We are interested in the regional FSB.
I: I came from there.
I: Although there is a chance to sit in the same chamber with Navalny and later become the Minister of Economy with him...
I: If they let go of course...