I was invited to visit. The weather was wintery, frosty, snowy, only without moths. The distance to the destination is 4 km, I think - in 40 minutes I will get to walk. It is done, I dress, I go. On the street was all minus 18, dressed decently, but did not calculate that walking a quick step decently warms the body.

After 20 minutes, I pulled off my jacket. Five minutes later, I removed the shirt. And two more, a hat. My appearance is specific. Beard and shaved skull. I take off my hat, I feel the steam on my skin that the steam is coming from my head. At that moment, I met with the eyes of a blind black man stuck in a thick-walled pantyhose. This look of complete madness I remembered for a long time.

I live in a new apartment.

Neighbors on the floor have been doing repairs for six months.

It turned out that the repair for the sake of the sale, such as bought black and "flavored" sold.

So they sold.

And you know what?

I go out of my apartment this morning and see:

New neighbors open the door to bring interior items into the common corridor and scratch wallpapers.

Mrs...

The opposition is fighting for a normal increase in payments to citizens monthly and on a lifetime basis, and not for a submission once in a lifetime and then to elections!

When I was young, I had a big breast. Her name was Irina. Low, slim, with elegant hands and legs – and suddenly two etched melons, a kilogram of two each. Operations to reduce the breast in the USSR were not done, and she was very suffering from constant carrying excessive weight. And also narrow blades of Soviet sweepstakes rubbed her shoulders to blood. Therefore, as part of each new underwear, Irina must have purchased a backpack with robust, wide-banded blades. She cut them off and replaced them with brushes.

The late 90s came, and the underwear and backpacks disappeared from the sale. But as it turned out, not entirely. And here Irina passes past the absolutely empty window of the "Sports goods" store and sees through this window a few backpacks on the empty in the rest of the shelf. Inside the store of backpacks is three, and Irina decides to take all three, because tomorrow the money will be cheaper again, and backpacks in the sale, apparently, will never be again.

After a few minutes she stands near the exit, packs two backpacks into the third and thinks it would be great to jump on the underwear now. At this time, a young man enters the store, sees an empty shelf, where there were just backpacks, turns his eyes on Irina, apologizes for the worry and addresses her with these words:
Please sell me two bags. Why do you need three? I will pay as much as you say.
Irina, evaluating the young man as sympathetic and polite, decides to continue the unbinding conversation. Of course, with a firm intention not to offend yourself.
I really just need a backpack. and. You will be arranged without sluts - take all three! Probably there are two more in the house, too, without bars. But I disagree with money: it depreciates every day. If you have something on barter, we can exchange.
The young man is not surprised by Irina’s words (remember, it was the 90s), but, on the contrary, literally blooms:
It is surprising how perfectly our interests match! The lashes do not matter to me at all. We are leaving. You can take one suitcase and one bag per person. We got our suitcases, but we can’t find a bag bag. The backpacks, of course, are still wet, but somehow we cut down the size. The pencil is wise. What do you need in exchange?
By this time, Irina already thinks about something completely different and therefore on the machine gives what her head was occupied before the conversation:
Bustle size 9!
The young man is slightly confused, then turns his gaze from the backpacks to the pointed Irina, or rather to the part of her figure between her waist and neck, carefully examines and, almost without shutting down, says:
“You know, my mother’s underwear is sent from Philadelphia by her sister, my aunt. They are, as you can say, very large. We go to them and come up with something.

Three months later they went to America together.

Have you at least once encountered the fairy tale that there was Vasilis the Wise Richter washed, fed and laid to sleep? Why does Baba Yaga always do this?

Is it possible to shake after the first dose of the vaccine?



YYY: It can’t be immediately. Go home first.

Well, and I will finally get a repayment - to me, as a working retiree, the president urged to return as much as 10 thousand rubles from the sixty, fled for a year from my pension.

Fiction writer Alexander Romanovich Belyaev.
It was he who invented the head of Professor Dowell, the flying man Ariel, Ichtiander...
He invented it because he did not give up. Although his entire life is a typical manifestation of what is called the "genus curse" in the people. How it really is called, nobody knows.
As a child, Alexander Belyaev first lost his sister - she died of sarcoma. Then his brother drowned. Then his father died, and Sasha had to make a living for himself - he was still a teenager. And as a child, he damaged his eye, which later led to almost loss of vision. As a child, he learned to play violin and piano. He started writing, composing, playing in theatre. Then, in his youth, Stanislavsky himself invited him to his troupe — but he refused.
Maybe because of my family. Who knows? He just got married for the first time. Two months later, his wife left him and went to another. Time passed, the wound lasted and he married a lovely girl again. At the same time, he became ill with bone tuberculosis. It was almost a sentence. Belyaev was enclosed entirely in plaster, like a mummy - for three years. Three years in the plaster had to lie in bed. The wife left, saying that she was not going to take care of the ruins, not for this she married. And Belyaev was lying down, all wrapped in the plaster. It was then that he invented Professor Dowell's head - when a fly sat on his face and began to crawl. And he could not move his finger to drive her out... But this horrible incident prompted Belyaev to write a novel. Then, when he still stood on his feet, he began to walk in a celluloid corset. Half blind and ugly. He was a beautiful man in his youth.
He wrote and wrote his famous novels Fantasy did not exhaust it, good defeated evil, people went beyond their possibilities, flew to other planets, invented rescue technologies, loved and believed. He wrote a little sad. quite a little. If you remember what he was in...
He later married a good woman. Two daughters were born. One died of meningitis, the other also became ill with tuberculosis. Then the Nazis came to the Tsarskoye Selo and the occupation began. Belyaev could not fight — he barely walked. I could not leave. He died semi-paralyzed, from hunger and cold. His wife and daughter were abducted to Germany. They did not even know where Alexander Romanovich was buried.
He then handed over to his wife all that was left of her husband, the glasses. Nothing else remains. Novels, novels and stories. And the glasses. To which was attached a curved paper, a note. There were words that the dying writer wrote to his wife: “Don’t look for me on earth. There is nothing left of me here. “Your Ariel...”
by Anna Kirjanova

Surprisingly, the poorer a country is, the harder it is to take off a money-filled plane with a shocking president.

One large corporation organized a corporation in Prague. Well, of course, at the end of the official part, there was an unofficial -

The bathroom, the table, the girls, etc. Well, of course, all this was photographed.

An employee of such a firm, leaving home, asked the photographer to filter those on which there were girls, because the fact of the girls in the photos would be fatal for him in the relationship with his wife.

One day, when he returns from work, he finds his wife in full anger:

I was with Grandma!

You are what!

It was!

He throws a envelope with photos. He takes photographs, convulsively overtakes -

Not one girl! He is unconscious:

Not a single girl?! to

Turn the envelope!

He turned the envelope, and from his hand was written:

“Don’t put pictures of grandmothers here!”“!”

My friend’s friend painted a green on his ass while she was asleep. A week later, she found a sad smile on her other half-jacket.

It is a pity that we separated. This could be the beginning of a strong friendship.



It’s a pity that my grandmother washes her ass badly. Glad you got rid of it.

Beginning of 2000. I work as a computer repair firm. Panasonic holds a free seminar in Moscow, pays for accommodation and issues certificates. The hotel is near the U.S. Embassy, I don't remember the name. I was not in Moscow, and the boss frequently waves there, on his business and party, on the eve of the departure, under the water, throws me additional tasks and dreamingly covers his eyes recalls:

- Just settled, the phone is already ringing, and in the phone "Do you not want to have a nice evening with a beautiful girl?"

The phone is silent, calling and calling.

So I flew to Moscow, got to the hotel, settled in the room. I called home and left my coordinates. The phone is silent. I walked through the evening Moscow, had dinner, returned to the room, the phone is silent. I read the book and the phone is silent. Lie to sleep. The call came early in the morning, I grab the phone, it turns out the boss is calling:

Greetings from Rec17. How are you doing?

- Boring, Vladimir Petrovich, no prostitute called in the room, you are the first.

The chief hurled somewhat unclearly, quickly said goodbye and laid the phone. I wondered what he was calling, what he wanted. And only in the subway I understood why the conversation ended so quickly.

Good people differ from evil people by hating groups of people alone, while evil people hate groups of people alone.

Once one of my acquaintances decided to improve their housing conditions: to change their one-bedroom apartment for a two-bedroom. Whoever wanted to make an exchange was quickly found. So, one of the alkas (let the Igor), who went on to pay. The description of the apartment to which he had to move arranged him, and he did not even want to look at it, and the surcharge arranged him even more. The only condition he had was to help with moving the furniture. Well, on the designated day, trucks come, take the couch, closet, table and three chairs and take them to the appropriate address. The hallway of my acquaintance in the single room was decent, and everything, except the table, fit there. Igor, having received the keys, immediately ran to the corresponding department of the store of his lifestyle, and at the table in the kitchen arranged an improvised banquet, where he fell asleep in the salad. He found a couch and arranged to sleep there. I woke up and appreciated the quality of my new apartment. I immediately called my acquaintance:
- Andrei, I generally have no complaints to you, but it hurts your room is small. No, I am satisfied with the supplement as well, but it hurts too little.
Andrei was slightly panicked, as the room was 16 square meters. The meters, of course, are not horny, but the title "too small" does not pull. The origins of this opinion could have been different, and therefore he urgently moved to his past address. What was discovered. The loaders placed almost the entire treasure of the alkas in the hallway and placed the closet so that it sealed the door into the room. And the hallway, where the aforementioned couch was, could go out of the bedroom. They signed up and signed the move.

Our man has two problems: the state does not care about him and the state is interested in him.

Xxx: Going home from work. I decided to arrange a surprise for my wife, picked up a good vineyard in the store, steaks with beef, delicious cheese, etc. I approach the box office, and there is a very sympathetic saleswoman, we know her for a long time and communicate quite fun. They are constantly struggling with each other and all that. But not any more.)

She sees such a set and says, luckily, Light, if just now would not have refused to do so. He looks at me with such clever eyes. I am deeply and for a long time married. You can’t imagine how right that was!!! He nodded my head behind my back. There the wife stands and slides like a very predator)) The foundation of course was strong. I could really say anything wild, and then prove that I was joking.

In the Middle Ages, there was the profession of urine collector in Flanders’ Ghent (now Belgium). From the urine, ammonia was then extracted, which went to make a cellulite for powder. In the morning, the collectors drove around the city with a barrel and paid for urine. Of course, there were cunning citizens who began to dilute the product. Then a new profession appeared - a tasting urine, which organoleptically determined the quality and concentration of precious ammonia. But the New Times came, people learned to synthesize ammonia or extract it in other ways, and the profession of a urine tasting became unnecessary. And all these urine specialists left Flanders, moved to Amsterdam and founded the Heineken brewery.

Xxx: Yeah, I heard after the coke “bite” on the truffles.

And very much)



Yyy: Only a member becomes the size of a miniature



Zzzz: What is increasing?

Xxx: One of us had a sharp break at the feast, many noticed, as he was telling something at that moment. So here. He had his cheeks swollen, he thought everything, PZZZ. But no, he swallowed back, and it ticks up again, so far as the beard has flowed, he swallows back again. And here's his second act of returning the content back, the two can't stand and pour their plates and tables, all ran away, except for the two ladies sitting between them - they decided to support the company and also started to bluff. By the way, Vitalik, from what was happening, vomiting demands passed, he splashed his mouth with mineral lax, drank and moved away from the outburst. That evening, the company split into two "camps" - condemning and defending him. Vitalik responded to all the attacks philosophically: Personally, I did not blame.

Xxx: I paid for coffee. has gone. I remembered that I did not give up. He returned, took the gift, and left. I went back to the office and realized I didn’t have coffee. Back for coffee.

Barista: “I made you stronger.”