bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117557
 20.08.2015
[9:18:58] Val: Near the shores of Florida, divers found a treasure worth $4.5 million
[9:19:13] Val: Kir, Yeez! You are lazy and don’t dive there!
[9:25:51] Dmitry: You don’t even know what the losers are, they hid it there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117556
 20.08.2015
xx: tried to calculate in the postal calculator a package of 65 kg from Moscow to Kaliningrad - 2361 rubles
plus a box and a label with a firm scotch - 100 p
Why is a plane ticket three times more expensive?

xy: two weeks of cold, hunger, beatings, losses and bullying. for only 2361 r and you are in Kaliningrad! For just 100 rubles we will glue your mouth with a firm scotch!
"post of Russia: now delivering not only people" )))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117555
 20.08.2015
xxx: I had such a case - I was driving in the winter in the darkness to Tver, there were women in the booth, so gently and calmly... I fell asleep, woke up from the whisper of the conductor:"You go out in a minute, get up!" Not having time to wake up, I stretch my boots in the darkness, take my bag and run out - parking 5 minutes in total. Already at the station, when the train touched, I realized that I attracted the attention of people, looked at my feet... Ha! I found out I had two other people’s boots! The left was red, the right was brown, and both were not mine!!! As I did not notice, I do not know. It is shameful. and shy:

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117554
 20.08.2015
Once upon a time, we had one crendel, who prepared all the hot sandwiches in the morning, got a chased sandwich.

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117553
 20.08.2015
Calls me, a philologist, a friend, a accountant, and asks:
- Listen, I was here suddenly: we have a worker named Pysy. Does that name go down? How to write in documents? He is married, by the way. In the MN. What is "The Family of Pussy"?

I also depended...
......................
You are a philologist.

No, it does not shake.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117552
 20.08.2015
A couple of weeks ago, a cat:

XXX: How is your cat there?
Sometimes he sits on his shoulder and watches a movie with me.
xxx: Oh, at such a pace will soon begin to whisper: "piasters! I have to do it!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117551
 20.08.2015
xxx: Interesting, but how would the events in the fairy tale of the naked king develop if the main heroine was the queen?
Yyy: It would have been "Game of Thrones".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117550
 20.08.2015
I come home from work, a neighbor in the apartment, a gentle girl of 25 years, pushing out the tongue from diligence with her hands on the kitchen table rubber penis. Next to the "trainer" is rolled a package informing that the trainer is called "Nicolas". When asked what she is doing with Nicholas, the neighbor replies: I am updating my closet. It turned out that she worked out some technique, which according to the testimony of girls from the training "bright male orgasm" is called "shoe", because several of them after her husbands and boys bought a bunch of shoes. I love women because they are smart ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117549
 20.08.2015
I put my money in the bank,
I also bought a tank.
Then on this tank.
Take them back from the bank.

The People, 1992

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117548
 20.08.2015
I thought the subject of the naked king's fairy tale would not pass now. But today encountered an interesting impregnation ingredient for wood - transparent nano-pigments.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №117547
 20.08.2015
Comments on the article "Anti-stress magnetic plasticine".

Funny thing, you have to buy such a husband, or he bites his nails, very nervous.
yyy: My uncle was also nervous, after the divorce and new wedding became cheerful and cheerful)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117546
 20.08.2015
X is new
this word is written through "a"
x : ))) is new

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117545
 20.08.2015
My upper lip is lower. As a child, I have heard how beautiful my lips are. Now they say to me, fu, why did you pump your lips, before such mushrooms were beautiful, and now buye. And I look at my photos five years ago – nothing has changed at all!
Victims of fashion on both sides of the barricades.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №117544
 20.08.2015
When they returned, the Krishnaites sang in the subway. The daughter with intoxication sang Hare Krish and danced for half an hour
We were given a statue of the Buddha on our heads and told that we could ask for a spiritual desire to be fulfilled.
And my daughter asked my spaniel to learn to speak.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №117543
 20.08.2015
Service to organize access to prohibited sites Roskomazor.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №117542
 20.08.2015
I sometimes have such a feeling when smoking SQL server documentation that I am reading some book on esoterics.
"Specifies that the embodied context is the name of the login, the area of personification is the server."
There is still a shortage of Egregor.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №117541
 20.08.2015
Where can I buy small skin cuts? Need to repair the car seat and compost the favourite chair
Sometimes in synagogues.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117540
 20.08.2015
Do you spit on my chest?
Diamond: I am not afraid. I am looking.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117539
 20.08.2015
xxx: I, in principle, have an idea for the fanfic about Podcasters irresponsible affection for the phantom, and there is a shorter suffering, beige-pyry all things, but it is such a breyeed... you saw my slug and eyewear. Shame to expose.
and light. In the ficbook. On a site where there is gay porn with a bucket and mixers, are you ashamed to post something? There are stories there. Where Dobby cut off his socks, and then Hagrid. And tons, hundreds of tons of spores of all colors and degrees of brilliance. This site is like an orgy room. If you even dance a ballet and slide down, it’s a puddle for everyone, because before that, ten blacks had gathered up with a rhinoceros in a ballet pack, got pregnant and gave birth to a flock of butterflies.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117538
 20.08.2015
I understood that it was necessary to talk less at home about work, when the daughter, playing in words, on the letter "R" said: Rosreestr!

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