bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 54 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52609
 31.08.2011
"The Deputy Chairman of the State Duma, Vladimir Zhirinovsky, said that he finally decided to participate in the 2012 presidential elections..." (MetroNews)

The Apocalypse in 2012!!! In the elections of the President of the Russian Federation vote for Zhirinovsky))

[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52608
 31.08.2011
Smithson: Purchased in 2001, the Sony J70 is still alive, healthy and fun. The battery is lithium-ion. I turn on once every six months (to perform one paid action so that the MTS does not block the number), in this mode holds the charge for about 20 months.
I am not going to throw.

TurboUSB: Are you all waiting for a call from the same?

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №52607
 31.08.2011
A message from a friend after the first class in the auto school:
I was today at the first lesson in theory: the mystery of dive on the roads for me is now almost uncovered...."

[ + 73 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52606
 31.08.2011
Grandma wants me to have a reliable, decent man who will look after me... Mom wants me a man who is caring, bad, ideally what to take abroad... A friend wants me a man who understands, with my level of intelligence and spiritual development...
I want to fuck.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №52605
 31.08.2011
Report on Internet Control in Schools.
XXX: And we have a computer science lecture watching porn and what?
XXX: Will he be cut off?
YYY: What exactly?

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52604
 31.08.2011
...
Boy: How are you doing?
Internet speed of 25 Mbps
...
I will marry her!

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №52603
 31.08.2011
“Daddy, daddy, poor daddy, you won’t get out of the closet, you’re hanged by our mother between the dress and the pyjama.” of 1967.

The harvest was seen.)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №52602
 30.08.2011
How to explain to a girl why you want unbearable sex when you drink?
YYY: Well there are two options: 1. boring: the type of telling that alcohol dulls conscience and shyness, the person becomes more discreet... 2. more fun: to explain that the body understands that it is poisoned and tries to extend its race as quickly as possible by reproduction)))

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №52601
 30.08.2011
From the website of a medical consultation:
Hi to you! I would like
Get your consultation
for an intimate
The question, but not
I have the opportunity to walk.
Now to the doctor.
Lack of time. The case in
I have recently been from
Curiosity decided
I am a virgin.
Or never with anyone.
It was). "There" entered a tube from
Cream 13 cm in length and 2.2 cm
The diameter. But by size.
Further, nothing more
It enters. There was no blood pain.
Somewhere almost at the end.
"routes" inside feel like
As a creature, in
Those who press, can
to penetrate further. What is it? and
What do you think about
The Hymen? All rules of hygiene
was observed) thank you
Answer of the specialist:
Do not do that anymore...

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №52600
 30.08.2011
> and [ link ]
> are you in a relationship?
< and [Greek ]
< do you want to go?
> and [ link ]
and gt; yes
< and [Greek ]
< not worth...
> and [ link ]
> is
< and [Greek ]
< not for you
> and [ link ]
> The Dog

[ + 72 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52599
 30.08.2011
The theorem :
If the body takes a horizontal position during screening and preparation for examinations, the body will fall asleep.

[ + 65 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52598
 30.08.2011
Specifically, after watching a few videos on YouTube, I answer to all interested:
The zebra’s member is not striped but black. and large. very large. So big that the zebra plays them like an elephant. How can I forget what I have seen?! to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №52597
 30.08.2011
I sit behind the compass, time is midnight. The window is open, the street suddenly spreads "With Noah’s Year!!With such a painfully familiar, New Year's sincere intonation that in the first second there were doubts whether August is now...

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52596
 30.08.2011
Now nostalgia took, almost slid... night, unlimited, although very slow inet, I load two pages at once because I do not rush, while they load chase in Duke Nukem 3D under my favorite album Prodigy... Just like in the distant 97th, only now I do it lying in bed on the country with the help of a cheap phone.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №52595
 30.08.2011
by Blander:
I made the sauce fun, washed the potatoes in the uniform, the wife comes in:
Where did you get it?!!! to
- did
I thought you were eating my face mask.)

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №52594
 30.08.2011
In Moscow, a rally of virgins called "Porvu za Putina"

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №52593
 30.08.2011
Only she could go to bed with a compot to wake up from the inconvenience in a couple of hours, and eventually wake up in 8 hours under a table with a triple instead of a pillow. I am in love!

[ + 67 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52592
 30.08.2011
Fuck, my father killed me.
I came here hungry like a dog, sitting for dinner. Looking into the kitchen, he says in a serious tone: "and you know that empty stomach is harmful?" and goes away. I am still sitting in a stall.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №52591
 30.08.2011
thx (13:55:16 30/08/2011)
*ROFL* I am drawn from my work
thx (13:57:02 30/08/2011)
A guy came to us at the training center, in a sporting suit. We ask "How is the name?". He says "I am clear". Olka our: "I see, and what is the name?". He himself has already roared and said, “My name is Clear.”

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №52590
 30.08.2011
Pipet... On the notebook made ctrl + c, on the desktop ctrl + v - not inserted... Once five tried to insert... I was nervous

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