bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69309
 31.08.2012

Typhoon "Bolaven" will help extinguish forest fires in the Khabarovsk region

And only in Russia one trouble extinguishes another.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69308
 31.08.2012
.braaaain 02 December 2009
Excerpt from a lecture on the history of Asia and Africa:

Teacher: What was the famous tribe of the Kyrgyz who were conquered by Genghis Khan? What were their external characteristics?
All of Nooo...
Someone: They had blue heads.
They were blondes too!
Teacher is right! The Blue Blondes.
Everyone: * minute and a half comes, everyone rushes to the lecture *
Everyone begins to roast
Teacher: That is blue-eyed blondes! Otherwise they would have disappeared!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69307
 31.08.2012
I go from the house to the sea, shorts with a belt. There is a girl, 5 years old.
Q: Are you going to the sea?
I am: Aha
D: Yes, and there are the same meduses!!!! Horror in the Eyes
I : I know. I will chase them.
D: Aaa... we’re ramming, right?? to

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69306
 31.08.2012
Swallowsperm: Sleeping several days in a row is cool. You wake up like "Oh God, what planet is this? What a millennium? Are these human beings friendly?"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №69305
 31.08.2012
xxx: VGTK acknowledged "Well, wait!" an adult cartoon about_O
YYY: Is it harmful for modern children to watch it?
xxx: And I suspect that we just didn't show it all, and the wolf still caught the rabbit a couple of times ;)
YYY: I went to watch

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69304
 31.08.2012
My shoes are made in Spain. Because it’s torture, fucking shit :(

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №69303
 31.08.2012
Max: You just imagine the face of a girl in a 24-hour shop, when a guy with an unripped moustache and a cigarette in his teeth, with a clear craving, in a far from new homemade mint t-shirt, and at two o'clock at night asks with a squeezed bass: "Is there an explosive for the test?"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №69302
 31.08.2012
Nikolai Valuev is the only person who, turning into a Hulka, decreases.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №69301
 31.08.2012
Imploid
2012-08-30 18:14
When I married myself, there was a couple before us: the bride was deeply pregnant and terrible, and the bridegroom was on the crutches. The other guy wanted to escape, but got caught :)

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №69300
 31.08.2012
>But if the short puddle had been pulled out by Chuck, everything would be different :)
When Chuck pulls out a short pebble, it is stretched out of fear so that he does not notice anything.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №69299
 31.08.2012
The xxx:
A cat-zack homo-pedophile instead of a stubborn dog holds a little boy hostage in an abandoned house in a deaf village! Can the postman Pechkin, the former mariner, save the boy? Watch the bloody thriller.

YYYY :
I always knew that pechkin was not so simple, since childhood, this thought did not leave me.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №69298
 31.08.2012
XTR1MAL: The Rain Hole
Hooligan: on the street?
XTR1MAL: No fuck in the office

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №69297
 31.08.2012
Comments on the video "The authorities released a simulator of the Russian army":

Where is the simulator Zhirinovsky!? to
yyy: Zhirinovsky cannot be simulated too much random.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №69296
 31.08.2012
Ilya was now smoking on the doorstep, and two workers were trying to bring a massive closet into the building. The closet was clinging to the chest, the hands of the workers were lacking, and they looked at the empty Ilya. At the end of the closet (or accidentally?) The door was opened, and Elijah stood on her forehead. The worker cried out, and instead of apologizing morally blasted: "Smoking is harmful to your health."
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! "The Volunteer Assistant of the Ministry of Health" :)

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69295
 31.08.2012
Me: The Salute
She: You say in English?
Me: A bit
She: What's your name?
Me: My name is VIT, and you?
She: Udo
She: Elena
me: ahah, palévo, elen, palévo)))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №69294
 30.08.2012
Genah’s crocodile is an adult man, and what he smokes is his personal affair.! to
yyy: crocodile Gena - an adult man
Crocodile Gene - Man
A crocodile is a human
YYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №69293
 30.08.2012
How do I hint at a girl unobsessively that I want her?

yyy: Noah, you can include a series of "Friends", where Phoebe tells how she gave up for a sandwich in her youth.
YYY: And unobtrusively so – I have a delicious sandwich in the refrigerator... Do you want?

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №69292
 30.08.2012
And you know how a miracle-nutritious yogurt with cherries and cherries broke through the check?
Yippidy is!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №69291
 30.08.2012
> a very good plan! Please try those doors more frequently with the words “do not enter”, “high voltage”, “attention, evil dog” and “private property”. Reduce the number of uneducated idiots. Amy

We have a door at work with the inscription: "Closed! There is no passage!", but it opens, if you go a little further along the opened corridor you will see the toilet with the inscription "Closed! The toilet does not work", which is quite open and works. And even further on the spare exit with the inscription "Once you have come here, close the door behind you!".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №69290
 30.08.2012
Favorite repaired the car in the courtyard, thoroughly so - dirty and oily lay under it, all around overwhelmed with tools, the oil outlets are adorned, the lifted cap is a naked engine.
I heard someone passing by and there was a joyful child’s voice:
“Mom, look, dad said that uncle is doing shit!!!!”! to
I heard that I went to daddy tonight.

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