bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102322
 31.08.2014
Listen, if you connect several compops and monitors, can I press Ctrl + C on one, and Ctrl + V on the other?
YYY: Well... How are you connected?
After a short silence: And the fucker knows him.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102321
 31.08.2014
<...> there somehow begin to believe in bodies of Russian soldiers
==== is
I will tell you more: not only the soldiers, but also the officer!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102320
 31.08.2014
"The City of Sins"-2.
Naked women, gangsters and maniacs. Somebody is constantly being killed on the screen.
What are you warning before the movie begins? is correct. Smoking on the screen.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102319
 31.08.2014
Cats were never fed with whisky, but at some point the crown began to give whisky along with a bag. In the morning a bag, in the evening a bag of whisky. A month later, the crown became thin. and absolutely. Direct marabou ((( stopped giving - after two weeks operated and again became a human)))


[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №102318
 31.08.2014
My daughter and I came to a friend, she has a cat of the species of Sphinx. The daughter looked at this bald miracle for a long time, and suddenly she whispered: “Mom, who is this?”
I say:"This is a cat" The following question killed me:
- "Why is it so bad?"


[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №102317
 31.08.2014
Repair of motorcycles:
We take the dough and drag him home to please everyone there. Well, if for some reason your woman doesn’t like silencers, buy her flowers along the way. This will ease the blow.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102316
 30.08.2014
Stone to the news "A dispute about Kant’s work in the turn for beer ended in a shooting":

XHH: In Irbit, one fellow killed another because of a dispute about what is cooler, poetry or literature.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102315
 30.08.2014
Come here :

"If you consider that the perfume is made with the addition of human urea for smell resistance, then it is not necessary to imagine it.)"

Ambra (one of the main fixers in perfumery) is extracted from the intestine of the XD cashalot, and the essential oil of jasmine, for example, contains indol, which smells of nothing but debris. And the perfumers grind, but devoutly "taste" the indole notes of spirits, because "nature product" :)).
Everything is conditional.

New school year :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102314
 30.08.2014
Maelinhon
I don’t understand why you only have two extremes. Or an unwashed body smelling of dirty cowards and fatty patches, or a virgin who does not know what to anoint and pour on?
It smells of both.
And I find it difficult even to say who is more of a goat - from the unwashed, or from the "overblown". Can we somehow bring the situation to the point that both will be just clean and slightly smell something good?
All are good.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102313
 30.08.2014
Reading the media sometimes gives the feeling that governments are using them as a chat to communicate with each other.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102312
 30.08.2014
Be careful...
_____
Signs of Imminent Schizophrenia
"Avoiding contact in the flesh before isolation (rare cases)"
A really rare case.
_____
Honestly "contact in the flesh" I’m a little worried. )) First of all, the question is - in whose flesh will be contacted?)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102311
 30.08.2014
I went to AliExpress, read descriptions for household appliances. Now I know who writes texts for Klitschko.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102310
 30.08.2014
xxx: With me in the neurosis clinic a girl was lying, who has had postpartum psychosis for 8 years.
yyy: It seems that her postpartum psychosis has already gone to second class...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №102309
 30.08.2014
Once there was a case, the Post of Russia bought software from us, and they had to rework and send some documents. When we told them that I would send them by the Post of Russia, they said it was not necessary, or they could get lost.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102308
 30.08.2014
Kippels is now a guy, I don’t want to live in such a world :(
and----
Take your soul? and :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102307
 30.08.2014
There is a discussion of a fanfic written clearly by someone young and inexperienced.
Get your teeth in the neck. to enter. The teeth. in the neck. Go to. The teeth. In the neck. What.
Maybe he is a vampire.
WOW: You know, it’s better than... m-m... a single-eyed snake penetrated into a black hole of pleasure.
Put your baking soda in my refrigerator!
xxx :D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102306
 30.08.2014
We sit on the sea, on the beach run burning natives, pairing shrimp, drum and air rice in one hand. In other words, everything is normal. And this year there was a fashion for temporary tattoos / read - translated images/. And a lady goes on the beach, behind her is a guy with beer and fish. The following screams with an interval of a few seconds.
Temporary Tattoos
The guy focused:
A temporary cold beer.
I wanted to buy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102305
 30.08.2014
Maelinhon: Yandex is burning money. The screensaver hangs, new design, new services. On the screensaver, a green garden, a hoodie, a happy grandmother advertising cloudlessly ticks into the tablet. This is how easy and good it was with the new service.
If you look at her, you can see that she’s in a man’s wallet.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №102304
 30.08.2014
XXX: What is written with a pear, you will not cut off with a taper
You will not argue with you.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №102303
 30.08.2014
My older cat, when I was alive, came to me when I ate breakfast and checked what I was eating. And if it was a eyelid (defined by the smell), he spoke such a short and decisive word me, indicating that their Majesty wanted to pull out my plate, and therefore I must leave on it a sufficient amount of yellow (protein I was allowed to eat the fullest). After that, I was obliged to bring the plate under a special inclination to His Majesty's mouth so that he could comfortably pull out the plate without the risk of swallowing his furry collar. The only thing that their Majesty never allowed herself to do was go down to eat at the table. He ate politely sitting in the master's chair - so seeing their majesty entering the kitchen during breakfast, the master had to honor him by rising up and immediately releasing the throne.

If my food did not interest their majesty, he quietly departed from the kitchen, not jumping into the throne freed for him by chance. His departure meant that we were allowed to continue our breakfast. The cat came out of the kitchen majestically, and it seemed to me that he even cried out to us, his faithful servants, with the inexpressible dignity written on his mouth.

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