Russia is the most attractive country in the world! You can attract anything here.

If a fool thinks he’s smart, you can’t get this fool out of his head.

A young housewife named Olya decided to open her own business. In other words, a store for adults. The situation was fully available. First, Olle chew like tired of sitting at home. Secondly, such a store itself gave it a highly romantic color. And finally, thirdly, Olya was very loved by her husband, who, after listening to her creative business idea, thought, sadly breathed, but agreed to give money.
Several winter months have been spent exploring the specifics of oil trade and finding suppliers. By the spring, she rented a suitable room, ordered the goods, hired a couple of saleswomen, and the work began.
And first, it must be admitted, things seemed to have gone, but soon another crisis broke out and, whether the people began to sin less, whether they began to save on the playgrounds and handle the old, but only sales fell as wintery.
The costs, on the contrary, grew like a snowball, and by autumn, undermining the numbers, Olya realized with bitterness that her creative startup was covered, if you can say so, by her own products. Business had to collapse.
Here you will surely all be surprised, say, how can it be in our pale country to ruin on such a range?
Unfortunately, as it turns out, it can be so.

Part of the goods were able to be sold to competitors, and the rest was placed in boxes and taken to the garage, hoping to sell it afterwards. And some silicone products, which could not be stored at a minus temperature, had to be taken home.
The husband roasted over the box all the way, calling its contents "summer" rubber and, holding it before him like holy gifts, solemnly took it into the apartment. Olya, trying not to pay attention to his jokes, put the box under the table and little by little everything about her was forgotten and only their dog sometimes approached, suspiciously smelled and even quietly ripped, as if feeling something.
Over time, all these Olina troubles shut down, winter came and passed, spring followed, summer came and the spouses decided to go somewhere to rest. Especially, a suitable Turkish allinclusive has just been turned.

To take care of the dog asked a family of elderly pensioners who lived from below. With his grandfather, a tall, still strong old man, the husband friendlined his neighbors and sometimes carried him to the country.
They didn’t mind, they just threw up their first-class granddaughter, who enthusiastically agreed to walk with the dog. The spouses quietly went to rest, and by the evening, despite the rain, grandfather and granddaughter took the dog for a walk for the first time.
Indeed, they walked not long, the rain began, even the thunderstorm and the dog, afraid of the thunderstorm, asked himself home, where he immediately hit under the table. The granddaughter rushed after him and, getting it, managed to overturn the box with Olina's former components. From there something fell out, the granddaughter picked up and shouted, "Look, grandfather, they also have something like Katie!" - ticked the grandfather in the face with something pink and dragged the dog into the bathroom. Obviously, she saw somewhere a fashionable thing now among dog owners - a laundry machine, a device for cleaning dog legs after a walk. Something like a rubber glass with a cap and a hole in it. You pour water there, dry your foot, twist and silicone brushes inside quickly clean it from sand and dirt. Very convenient replacement for a cushion.
The grandfather without glasses did not look at the laundry, and the dog was not asked at all, so the process went.

But, as probably the most sensible readers have already guessed, it was not quite a lappu-washer. More precisely, not her at all. Although this product was similar to it in appearance, it was not intended for washing dog legs, but for much more intimate operations of predominantly single men. And if you throw away the false shame, functionally it was precisely what Kamasutra colorfully calls the “nefrite gates” in Eastern language.

For two weeks, Olya and her husband the southern sun, the warm tender sea, excursions and a kind Turkish "Swedish".
For two weeks, carefully cleaning the dirt, grandfather and granddaughter faithfully washed the dog's legs with gently pink "nefrite doors". To the honour of Dogkevitch, it must be said that every time he resisted fiercely and whispered loudly on his guardians.

By the day of the return of the spouses from Turland, the pseudo-lapomykia was noticeably trembling, but nevertheless did not collapse, steadfastly resisting all ruthless daily procedures. Its cleanly washed, but all already wiped out and encouraged, Olya found wrapped on a dish in the bathroom. Olya even trembled and called her husband. The man whispered and looked at Olya.

At that moment, the door was called. Just came grandfather and granddaughter, to return the keys and at the same time offered to walk the dog. The spouses looked around again and joyfully settled on their grandfather. It was noticeable that they looked differently – a husband with some respect, a wife with a badly concealed fear. The dog, when he saw the guests, cheered joyfully, and Olya, shaking her shoulders, allowed them to walk, but she herself looked out of the window for every chance.
Fortunately, the situation was resolved immediately after the walk, when the granddaughter habitually ran into the bathroom and poured water into the washing machine began the standard process of dog cleaning.

The husband bended in half and, crawling like a horse on a hemp field, escaped in the bedroom, from where he whispered so terribly and loudly that even the dog could not stand and cried. Olya was holding.
When the neighbors finally left, the husband came out of the bedroom and laughing and crying fell on the couch.
“Ola,” he barely spoke through tears, “he can now go to court... for harassment!
Here Olya could not withstand and fell next to the couch also fell wildly.
A dog rushed out of the hallway. He could not laugh. Therefore, he simply gently looked at the owners and waved his tail.
by robertyumen

Who do you want, son or daughter?
I wanted to tie the ropes.

A wicked man is the Susanna who does not dream of becoming Moses.

Talk about the lack of positivity in social networks.

There was a small business, poor, but somehow it existed. And at some point, the owner decided: well, it's all of it - I want to go to the Azure Coast and right now. There is no money. Truths and falsehoods for the extension of the company. The expansion did not occur naturally, but the grandmothers were all successfully scourged. A month later, the accounting office, and the balance sheet that had been difficult before, did not meet at all, up to the failure to pay wages. A month later, the unpaid story repeated. The people quietly pulled to the exit: who to the labor inspectorate, who immediately to the prosecutor's office, on the way leaving scabies and non-positive inscriptions about the firm and its owner on all available internet sites.

How the above-mentioned complaining organizations work, if the request did not come from a "member of the employee's family" everyone knows. But the Internet knows its thing - very soon, the output was pulled and regular customers, and new ones, only envying the names of topics about the company, began to knock their eyelids so that even the telephone number accidentally did not see.

The owner could not leave the situation so easily. Do you think he has closed his salary debt? Oh, dreamers - he hired pizzers writing positive reviews on this your internet. Very soon, the amount of the contract for "whitening the image of the company" exceeded the salary debt. And laughter and sin, but you did not live in Russia, if you think the story ended there. He did not pay the pirates.

The pirates became angry and began to write shit too. When the third or fourth company to form a positive image of the company and its first person failed to change, the owner finally realized that he was doing something wrong and... became a deputy. Now, on quite legitimate grounds, he has the right to demand the removal from the issue of search engines compromising his information.

Jaroslavl Cossacks protest against abortion.
What causes the Yaroslavl Cossacks to have abortions?

I was scary once.

When I was 6 years old, my parents went to visit someone until late. I was left with my uncle.

You are just that, look there carefully. My dad warned him. He has been nervous for the last few days. The monsters were afraid of something.

Yes is normal. No monsters to be afraid. My uncle reassured him.

When my parents left, he started treating my monstrophobia. By a rather radical method – for two hours locked me in the room, cut off the light and started to scare me through the door with an afterlife voice.

I have not been afraid of monsters since then. I was afraid of my uncle.

When I was a child, I had a friend and neighbor of Lenka. We played together, and when Mom called to eat, we ate together. The food was the simplest: soups, cakes and so on. After cleaning up the dishes, we went back to our classes.

Once upon a time, Lenkin’s mother visited us. He goes into the case, and in the case asks:

What did you cook for lunch today? for breakfast? for dinner?

My mom wondered why the neighbor had such an interest in our food? When she asked again, she answered:

What purpose are you interested in?

The neighbor was a little confused and then replied:

My little girl doesn’t eat at home. I have no mind, what to do with it? And his cattle, and the pigeons, and all the varieties of salt - does not eat infection! Because you eat so that it breaks behind your ears. The worst thing is that I’m cooking too. What is the secret?

“There’s no secret,” my mother replied, “I’m never bothering anyone. Do not want? So not hungry. Marching behind the table. During the day, they run, get tired, eat everything you don’t offer.

I can’t let my child be hungry all day. You just have to cook what he likes. Today he has your cake with potatoes, here I will go and cook them.

Ordinary Russian woman, with bleaches from copytes and burns from b...

Is there anything good in Israel?

Glory Shifrin

On the third day of our stay in Israel, Zama’s “old” relative invited us to his home for dinner.

Zyama in our family was considered a dissident who suffered from the communist regime. He left for Israel in 1975, literally two months before an extensive revision in his supermarket. According to the results of the revision, the director of the supermarket was given 10 years, the deputy director was given 8 years, he managed to withdraw from the party and suffered a heart attack, and the modest merchant Zyama at the time of the trial had already drank warm vodka on the shore of the Mediterranean Sea and mourned the wealth earned by hard work and left for preservation to not very reliable people.

Sitting at the head of a table filled with unfamiliar food and exquisite alcohol (Gold vodka, brandy brought by Zyama “from America” and two types of wine – White and Red), Zyama presented to us his vision of the Israeli reality.

The climate here is terrible. This heat is totally unbearable for us Europeans.

Zyama, of course, considered himself a carrier of the great European culture.

Probably because he was born in the very heart of Europe - in the town of Baranovich of the Brest region.

Or because he taught German at school and could construct the phrase in German, “Woman, if I take 4 pieces, will I get a discount?”

Israel’s economy is falling. There is nothing of its own: no metallurgical plants, no oil, no coal, no aircraft, no aircraft carriers. “No ice breakers,” added one of the guests. Without American aid, this country could be closed tomorrow.

The army is one big myth. A couple of times defeated the stupid Arabs and joy. Look at how the soldiers here look like the Belarusian partisans who came out of the forest. They can’t go through the building normally, I’m not talking about the song.

Medicine in Israel is a disgrace. My aunt (he pointed to the fork on the old lady, concentrating on chewing the sandwich with new, apparently not in the Soviet Union inserted toothprotheses) for the third month stands in line for cataracts (he said so and said “the row for cataracts”). We would give the doctor 100 rubles and my aunt would have been operated yesterday, and today I would drink an oxygen cocktail in the prophylactory “Green Pine”.

Is this education? They do not teach anything at school: neither physics, nor mathematics, nor this, like her. The chemistry. I read all the literature by the age of 16 (“I listened to all the music by the age of 18, I reviewed all the paintings by the age of 20,” I thought). And they don’t know the world literature at all: neither Drun, neither Senkevich, nor Mopassan (Zama’s brother was the director of the maculature collection point, so Zama’s home always had the freshest literature).

Is there anything good in Israel? I asked with hope.

Zyama silenced, poured a glass of vodka into himself, with a precise, trained movement threw it straight into his stomach, without rushing to snack a champagne chewed with a goat baking, thought a little and replied:

The clothes will dry quickly.

Somewhere in the Krasnodar region, a woman judge, whose daughter's wedding, where Baskov, Meladze, Kobzon and Brezhnev sang, was discussed by the whole country, suddenly froze in front of the TV and whispered: "God, it was possible???"

I want to officially apologize to the creators of the pornography industry. From childhood, he considered this "scientifically popular art" documentary and boring. And, if “the most important of all the arts of cinema,” pornography, to this day, is “the most important of the cinema!” In which there are no bloody scenes of violence, no lies and no scattered political propaganda.

Thank you Uncle Vassula!

It was a recent story of news on the 1st channel about new standards in the reception of patients at the Sklifosovsky Hospital. It was said and shown there that when receiving injured patients, X-rays are now made straight at the entrance by such a device on wheels. Oh a miracle! It is :)

In the summer of 1981 I was 11 years old. Mining village in the Far East. We spent the holidays and as much as we could. That day we climbed the trees and roofs. A branch broke under me and I climbed on the fence from 2 meters. I was fortunate that the fence was low and the area of the district hospital was across the road. So I first got off the fence, clogged a hole in my right side with my hand and drowned into the hospital. Tired, he just started to breathe slowly after a painful shock, the bloodshed chopsticks, sat down on the wreck of the laboratory and here a good aunt goes. She saw me in the blood and said in a good voice, “boy! You have to go to the hospital and go on. The Pilates! Where am I going?
Arrived at the ambulance, there the man is pulled out of the eye. Sitting on the couch to wait. Here they saw me and led me to the surgical department. To the middle of the staircase to the 2nd floor reached himself, then cut off.
I was lucky for the second time. Surgeon from God Uncle Vasya Cherepanov!
On the couch, at the entrance to the department, I was taken a X-ray just by a wheeled device, put a catheter for future droplets, and since then I know my blood group. The hospital was repaired, so I was operated in the "dirty" operating room. Not many people know how protective birds sing in the summer outside the window after getting out of anesthesia. I was already discharged from the local gynecology (repair however!!!) is
On the other hand, Uncle Vasy’s one eye had a glass prothesis.
A lot of people have been saved by Uncle Vasya!
Low tribute to you Uncle Vasya Cherepanov for my salvation, long years if alive and thank you for the new standards in the reception of patients in the hospital named Sklifosovsky, established in that far away 1981 in the simple, Soviet, district hospital of the mining village in the Far East!

Presentations at weddings and corporations. The Cossack Choir. and expensive.
Ask to Vladimir Vladimirovich

People usually see kindness as a sign of stupidity.

As a child, I was a very active child. My parents did not have it easy with me. And although I was not capricious, but managed to quickly exhaust anyone, because the energy in me was like that rabbit from the advertisement.

One day my mom’s beloved aunt came to visit us. They have not seen each other for several years. In the city, my aunt was on the road after a long trip and was going to stay with her beloved niece for a few days.

I was 4 years old then. I passed through our narrow two, like an army of Hunts, leaving chaos and destruction behind. My aunt only had one day of contact with me. By evening, she had already picked up her bags, said goodbye to her mother and rushed home on the train.

My parents were so worried about my excessive activity that I was even drunk with valerian and driven by doctors. At the reception with another neurologist it turned out that I was completely healthy. Meanwhile, the doctor asked my mother if I was the only child in the family. Her mother jokingly said that she would not dare to have another such active child soon. The doctor said very seriously, “You think so. After all, if one child had to be tortured well, the other will be a “gift.”

This reception at the doctor made a strong impression on my mother.
A few years later she gave birth to a younger brother. As my mother later admitted, the doctor was absolutely right. Indeed, if you struggle with one, the other will be a “gift.” This was the “gift” for me.

“I was born” – I was born. It is “I was born.” We are used to doing everything ourselves.

There is nothing more unpleasant and annoying to a professional historian than a credible fact.

Jason Ohart writes:
"I played golf with a busy 78-year-old old man who constantly gave life advice. I have never met a bigger puppy in my life.
After the game, he told me, “Don’t talk to me in the parking lot. My wife will take me away, and she thinks I was deaf five years ago.”
The legendary man.”