Everything we don’t do is done for the worst, so it might be better not to do anything.

So it happened that I needed to take a taxi. The taxi arrived, the driver, according to the tradition, speaks Russian with an accent.
We have already gone to our native village, wandering along a narrow village road. At one of the turns on the opposite side is a truck, and so that people have to travel around it and meet it while silent, but to get out.
We approach him, and suddenly a large such crossover begins to travel around him, while coming out to us almost in the forehead. A woman driving. The taxi driver reacted, but late, the woman driving the crossover also stumbled. The mirrors did not disappear. The taxi driver stops, insults with bad words in his native language, from which I realize that the woman is clearly the daughter of the devil and in his homeland women are not allowed to drive. The woman also stopped and waited.
I ask the taxi driver how much the mirror costs. He pretends, he calls the sum. I put my wallet in, I get the money, I extend it. He is confused, says the police need a protocol, let it pay.
No need, I answer, I am in a hurry, and a woman like that can be regretted.
He calmed down, took the money, went on, he nodded his head, what a noble man, a woman regretted.

Well not to explain to me that I didn’t want to read about the following in the protocol of the GIBDD:

Citizen of Durnevo, driving a vehicle of the brand K, belonging to the citizen of Durnevo. She went to the lane intended for opposite traffic and allowed a collision with a vehicle of the brand H..y, under the control of Jamsut Ravshanov. The witness, who was in the a/m mark H..y - a citizen of Durnev, the husband of a citizen of Durneva.

I grieve when I see vacancies as the advantages of working in this company - timely payment of wages. You would still write - you won't be beaten at work, or something like that...

We are on vacation.

I am a husband:

Today is the day I dreamed of as a child. For breakfast – cake, then into the park on the carousel. Lunch with ice cream. For dinner a cake.

The husband:

I am for. All with cognac.

Retribution is the belief that good will triumph, and Justice is just a profession.

Half of

We live in an apartment on the first floor. We are four – my husband, my five-year-old daughter and grandmother. Our grandmother is 80 years old, and for the winter we take her out of the village, and in the summer she definitely returns to her house, not wanting to sit in the city. The garden still plants and goes fishing.

With my grandmother to us always moves the cat Bubble - a white-red bandit in the village, but very affectionate in the apartment. His grandfather called it a bubble when he was still alive, after the cat struck his bubble with valerian and tried to open it for three hours. Grandfather could not withstand these torments, opened the bowl and dropped a little on the penny. The cat sat there and slept for four days, not even eating.

Then there was a thunderstorm, and the rain wiped away the remnants of the smell. The cat was still approaching for a long time, smelling the foam and breathing loudly. Grandfather he loved very much, and he called him kindly Puzik. When his grandfather died, the cat went to the cemetery every day for 40 days. Then it stopped at all! Such a mystic.

And recently, the love of the cat for the valerian turned into communication with law enforcement forces for the family.

That evening, my grandmother got something upset after watching her favorite series and decided to drink valerian. But accidentally the bubble fell and a little liquid poured out on the floor. There was a characteristic smell in the apartment.

The bubble, feeling a favorite smell, issued a wild cry and rushed to lick the floor and roll in the medicine. My husband didn’t come up with anything better than opening the balcony to ventilate, and I ran to the bathroom for a cloth to wipe out.

The grandmother was seated in a chair, and Puzik with uterine rattling turned out on the floor. By these sounds the surrounding cats understood – here they are poured!!! And rushed to us through the open balcony - the first floor!

They also made strange sounds. The bubble began to defend its territory, a big cat fight began. The husband ran to close the balcony so that new animals did not find, on the road several times was scratched and bitten. The grandmother was attacked by a hysterical laugh, and the daughter hid in the bathroom and ate from there.

There were more than a dozen cats in the apartment. What was to do with them? They did not give up and fought with each other. Neighbors were frightened by the wild noise, knocked on the door, but we were not before them. Then they decided that there was some kind of murder and called the police.

The police who arrived were shocked by the deceased — the husband scratched, all in blood, a bunch of cats and a whispering grandmother in a chair. They did not know what to do and called an animal rescue service.

Two uncles arrived, quickly caught the cats with large baggage sacks and sent them to the balcony through the fork, where another 5-6. We had to pay for the “release of the apartment.” Our cat was thrown out!

I had to run to look for him. Fortunately, he was already well - he was lying on the bench, not going to run. Under the balcony, people gathered and had fun.

Then my grandmother and I treated my husband, calmed the child, cleaned up in the apartment. The bubble slept happily on the window. We did not risk opening the windows and the balcony for a couple of weeks - cats were constantly pushing around...

If my son becomes a priest, will I have to call him a “Batty”? Is he “my son”?

I work in a kindergarten. Sitting on the bed, I lay a boy (5 years old). He says he is going to marry the girl Anna. I know he always liked another girl, so I asked why. So he said to me, "You understand, it's better to be with a girl who plays games with me, gives her candy, likes my mom (their moms are friends), than with one who likes, she's beautiful, yes, but will never play with me in Robots and will eat all my candy." And then I realized that some kids are smarter than me.

Once in the kindergarten, I was given the task of blinding some fig, for years I don't remember what exactly. I glued all night, tried very hard, the next day I proudly presented my masterpiece to the teacher, to which she told me, say it is very beautiful, but the next time blind yourself, and do not ask the adults to do it for you. Imagine what it was like to hear a five-year-old boy who, instead of watching the baby’s quiet night and going to bed all night, glued this unfortunate figure from plasticine. At that moment I just cried...and two days later the garden burned.

Xxx: The first and only time my comment had a 2000 plus I was even a little scared))



Yyy: Just imagine, you have influenced the lives of two thousand people with one short message, made them feel and think about something... could many have done so half a century ago?)

How many officials do not plant, but in the top leadership always stand for them!

The state of Indiana recently passed a law banning abortion. For all things is the will of God, for pregnancy too, and who are we to interfere with the act of God’s intent. In the process of discussing the bill, one representative of the Democratic Party proposed an amendment: a ban on the sale of funds for erectile dysfunction should also be introduced. Because if the will of God is for pregnancy, then for the unstable too. There is no interference with divine providence.

What, father, are the visas given to you?
For whom is the visa...

It just doesn’t get your money in excess. Other people’s money is full.

On January 27, precisely on the Birthday of Pavel Petrovich Bažov, a holiday was organized at our mining department.
First, they paid a prize of 14,300 in honor of the writer’s anniversary – 143 years he knocked (by).
Second, they arranged a buffet with shrimp, shrimp cookies and other supermarket gifts for employees.
And now, when everyone had begun to take off the dishes, the wet silhouette of the guard, the old man Propoich, as we called him, was painted in the door.
His years were not too many, but the nickname was attached intentionally. Probably because of lifestyle.
Sitting next to me, he whispered: “In the midst of a loud ball,” followed by a drunken maternal rhythm, from which it followed that he drowned the service gun an hour ago. “Accurate, listen, in a non-freezing pond on the outskirts of the mine management,” he explained, imitating P. P. Bažova. I wondered how it happened. He pictured his hand and said, “Yes, goose-lobby.” It turned out that he decided to hunt the ducks, which this year remained to winter, began to sing Rosenbaum's song "Duck", tears began to stifle him and shake his eyes, the hand was frightened and at the time of wiping tears the pistol slipped out and "blowed into the muddy waters, going straight to the bottom with a stone," he told me.
I was surprised and immediately told a couple of employees about the incident. Those - the rest, and soon all our trouble fell on the bridges - to look at the loss "in the muddy waters". The water was indeed muddy, and some were heavily inclined to look at the bottom, and the head of the fleeting shop leaned so much that he even “feed” the fish. Here I felt such a familiar tick under the ribs, as gently, but strongly. Next to her was a bright Lisa.
"Well, don't brake, Tventin, her smile drew me no worse than a magnet, I pulled to her, but after returning the kiss, she continued. You have a separate...
I broke her and rushed for the magnet. The rope was found at the workshop. And I, attaching one end to the hook of the magnet, and the other to the perils, asked the old man Propoich, where exactly he folded the weapon. He shrugged his hand, pointing to the right of the bridges. I dropped the magnet and pulled it. “A net came with one tin,” the old man Propoich quoted behind his back. Although there was no tin on the magnet pulled out, but a pair of coins: modern 2 rubles and 50 rubles 1993 gv. “Oh,” Propoich said, “give me now.”
But I gave the magnet to Lisa, she threw it slightly to the left and pulled out the steel ceiling from the glasses, 2 coins of 10 rubles and an incredible size nail. “H,” said the head of the float, ran and returned with his magnet on a rope. Here and other employees were interested in what was happening, building up in a row - to throw a magnet to try their luck. A bunch of pulled iron objects grew, everyone was enthusiastic about the process, and the upset and forgotten old man Propoich, dragging into his body, fell asleep sadly on the couch near the entrance, dropping his moustaches and tired eyelids.
Having picked up a handle from an old coal coal, I suddenly said, "What if the gun doesn't magnetize?"And immediately some used to google, and some began to vociferously prove that guns are magnetic.
At this time, the HMG "flown" on the bridges, so we call the director's wife behind the eyes, because she often sunbaths on stones in the summer.
- What are you throwing out the weapons? - she asked without prejudice and pulled out of the bag of PM Propoich. He was sitting on the table completely unattended.
Magnetic fishing continued, despite the discovery of the missing, - the hazard that encompassed the employees, joined the team much stronger than the official fisherman.
And we gathered the little stuff before leaving the mountain, pouring it on the table of Propoich - for beer in the morning.

HMG - Master of the Copper Mountain

Yesterday Dmitry Anatolyevich gave up and he did not say anything like that.

Xxx: I told the kids about democracy in the evening, by organizing voting for what movie to watch and what pizza to order. Then I chose the movie and the pizza myself, because I only had the money.



YYY: It is a dictatorship. Democracy is a little different.

It was necessary to secretly question each child, and then announce that the majority of votes had ordered a pizza and provided a pleasant bathe film.

And when the deception would be uncovered, to declare that nothing like this, the counting of votes went honestly and smoothly.

And whoever is dissatisfied will eat the shells of the pizza standing in the corner for discrediting the power.

The most worthy victory is to prevent conflict.

Childhood

I go home somehow from training... And I see in one of the streets a huge tree with silk. The branches are straight to the ground, and on them mature, until falling from the smallest wind, berries. I did not endure. I am standing and starving. And here comes by a decent sailor with his son. The child looked at me and pulled himself to the branches. My mom said, “Are you mad? They are dirty, now we will go to the store, I will buy you, we will wash at home and you will eat. Never, you hear, never do like this uncle. These are microbes, they can kill you!The child breathed and looked with regret at his uncle, whom, according to his mother’s version, the terrible microbes had already been drawn by the foot into the straw and there to eat. And the uncle was frozen, with his mouth filled with berries and leaves. My childhood passed before my eyes.

You wake up, grabbed bread, sausage, and a knife. My mother cried, “I will kill you.” You scratch yourself in the finger. With your hand behind your back, a barrel, on the wall, you go out on the street. The whistle talks on the hair.

You glue it with the glue PVA, above the roadster. The important thing is that my mother doesn’t know. Because it will hit. On Barcy Street. Eat a sandwich for two. You are brotherly, you are brotherly. The sandwich is falling. According to the law of wickedness, the sausage down. But in our childhood, there was still the law "fastly raised is not considered to have fallen." You cut off the sausage, you continue to eat with Barry. He jumped to his friends. They played warriors. You were kicked out of the roof. Once on 15. The survivor was what. You sit and dress as a traveler. They made a tarzan. You are the most courageous, you have been plunged ahead of everyone. You land face to face in the store. You break your nose, break your lips, scratch your teeth. Blood rushes through the fountain. Picking a traveler in the nose.

The important thing is that my mother doesn’t know. It will kill. My grandfather and sister made a roof. It is when a person sleeps, you stretch over him a slate and say “the ceiling falls!” I spent three days on the lip. I tried to eat cora. Grandfather walked down with a rod, bubbling, “Hey, the shovel would be good now.” I bet on the bet. Three on a bicycle. Someone’s leg was knotted with a chain, someone crossed the steering wheel. Not everything has reached the destination. The combat losses. Along the way, they struck cucumbers, tomatoes and peppers from the colloquial field. Most importantly, at home in the garden, everyone has their strawberries.

The trophies taste better. At the bet you break the watermelon on the knee or on a stone. Without a knife and a fork. You sit satisfied, sticky, all in peanut seeds. The flies on your head are licking watermelon juice. I bet with the boys that you’ll swim over the bet.

You have been swimming for three days. Rescue a man on a boat. You sit down, spit off the frogs and frogs, and pray that they don’t tell your mother. My mother drowned herself. Dried up, burned the fire. There were ammunition and shiffers. Buried in Oregon. After the "shooting" was carried out on the plateau, that is, with a blade on the ground. The enemy does not sleep, you raise your ass - they will fall. Throwing the potatoes into the fire.

They were eaten together with peelings and heads. In the evening we went to bring the neighbor’s cherry. The neighbor dropped the dog. The dog bitten his ass and heels. Good afternoon, we haven’t seen each other for a long time. The grandmother drove home and licked a stick on the hill. You thought, “Fig with him, just don’t talk to Mom. My mom will bite. In short, we were not afraid of any microbes as a child. The microbes were afraid of us. I was only afraid of my mom.

My mom will beat!

Maxim Melnik

Under the government of Russia will launch a center for the development of artificial intelligence.
...and it is clear: with the natural somehow does not come together...