From Habr, a discussion of the identification of a person by how he collects text:

The xxx:
And what if I’m right and my right hand is occupied and I’m tapping on the left? Or will it suddenly be in the plaster, in gloves, and so on? Yes, banally after a couple of bottles of beer) Something tells me that I will not be able to use my banking app.

YYYY :
> Yes, banally after a couple of bottles of beer) Something tells me I won’t be able to use my banking app.

Maybe even for the better?

and ZZZ:
It is not only alcohol that affects behavior. Exercise, stress and endorphins I fell in love and my bank account was blocked.

and TTT:
But this fit in general must have, with automatic removal in two months.

A very fat cat came to us today.
very much
When his grandmother approached him, he didn’t run like everyone else.
He just turned and slowly left.

to this:
Why are the majority of shops called "Our Own"?

Because if you name the store "From yourself", the firefighters will stumble.

A month went to the gym, lost 6 thousand rubles.

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon called on Ferguson to exercise restraint and respect the rights of the people to peaceful protest and freedom of expression.

In Rome, beer was used only as a strengthening agent for the sick, and healthy people were not recommended to drink it.
Yyy: -Dear, I got sick today, go for a half-piece of Zhygulevsky.

Listened at the exhibition:
A woman sells a Persian cat.
A man fits, admired the beast, appreciated, says that they like Persians very much...
"But" – says a man – "My friends often come to me! What if I take a cat and they come in costumes?and "
The woman, not long thinking: "Well, in costumes and will go!"

and Tamara:
Girls who want to catch the bouquet of the bride, approach the bridegroom!

From Habr, the post on the self-made automatic watering for flowers:

XXX: Can you tell me what the connector in Figure 3_1 is called?

YYY: Oh, and I don’t know. All the wires with a hole I call sprinklers, and with a stick sprinklers.

Here you rusted over the Psaki Sea in Belarus she found. And in the sale appeared shrimp production of Belarus.

This is another...

I work on commands, live in a dormitory for 4 people in a room.I came from work, tired. I took a shower, washed my trousers and socks. The socks were so long, with so much heart. I go into the room with my dirty socks lying on the bed. The strangers washed...

— — —
Winter, Ural, eight years ago My car (the usual white field) is filled with snow to the middle of the glass. For an hour and a half he broke the path to her through the whole courtyard (with a shovel) and swept away from the snow (with a hat) until he reached the room. And only then remembered that he put his evening in the garage.

I work on commands, live in a dormitory for 4 people in a room.I came from work, tired. I took a shower, washed my trousers and socks. The socks were so long, with so much heart. I go into the room with my dirty socks lying on the bed. The strangers washed...

neoSENS: I’m on the motorcycle, the gauges often stop (it’s okay) tired already. Yesterday, in a certain century, I went on a big, I think cool, the gays will not stop, and in the courtyard I am caught by the crew of the PPS and check the big for theft. Winner of life.

The topic is discussed:
The Ministry of Defense of Poland will deliver humanitarian aid to the Ukrainian military. and ==

XHH: Two thoughts 1 with apples?
2 - humanitarian aid to the military - something deeply perverse is in this phrase.

It will now be necessary to teach Lobachevsky’s geometry instead of Euclidean geometry.

Interview at the Cage:
Man: I live alone, I want to have a friend - a cat.
The farmer offers a cat for castration.
Man (indignant): Why do I have a friend castrate?? to

He didn’t have half a tile in the bathroom. Because his father once decided to glue another gum. The children chewed and he cried. It is falling on the head now.

AAA: In a quiet turmoil the devils lead, and once a month the devil himself visits them.

From the chat (talk about the waitress):

A: She is not sociable at all!
BBB: Nifiga is not sociable, I was sociable for 400 rubles yesterday!!! to

I like to think.
In most people, the mental process is associated with painful sensations.
I like to make other people think with my head.
Am I a sadist?