bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №117477
 19.08.2015
I have a 99 year old son, like a child.

The classmates are like cows.
There’s such a one in the assembly, like “Uncle Lena, Blabla...” and I look at her from the bottom up and think who of us is still an uncle.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117476
 19.08.2015
by Artem S:

How to transfer files from computer to computer?
There is an old netbook with necessary files. and 120 gigs.
You need to find the best way to transfer these files to a new notebook.

The option with the flash disappears (I don't have such a flash drive, and on the old 2.0 to a bunch), external hard disk (again +2.0), YandexDisk disappears, because it persistently offers to synchronize, and on the old notebook banally not enough space for synchronization, its own means of transferring files from Windows does not want to transfer files anywhere except the system drive, which again does not have enough space for files (40 GB free).

Help the good people :)

by GoreGrindGeek:

You do the C format on the old computer, and the files go to the file paradise. You make the format C on a new computer - and the files from it get into the file paradise. The files of the new and old computers are stored in the same storage. The Profit!

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117475
 19.08.2015
PAND: I don’t think about sex
PAND: I don’t have the opportunity to have sex
PAND: I just don’t get anything.
Panda: Hydro stroke, fucking
acsochka: what is it?
PAND: There is such a concept for drivers
PAND: If water gets into the engine, he’s fucking, he’s caught a water stroke and will never start again.
PAND: And nothing will bring him any more.
Tagged: horror
acsochka: you scared me so much that I would go and eat a candy in order to increase the hormone of joy

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №117474
 19.08.2015
After watching Mad Max: Fury Road, I came to the conclusion that Mad Max is the guitarist who was hanging on the rubber and the whole film was rubbed on the electro.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117473
 19.08.2015
If there were sex on a home phone, what would it be?
- Here you were called in the winter, you are standing under the door, finger to button. “Dear, what are you doing?” – “In the slugs and ice glaciers...”

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117472
 19.08.2015
A friend lives in Kline (on the border of the Moscow suburb) works in Moscow, the road takes about 2.5 hours in one direction.Tell: "She left the day before from work earlier, went to the electric station. I sit satisfied! I will be home sooner! I woke up (

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117471
 19.08.2015
In the beginning, I was called by the name Nabilina. But then I still knew her fatherhood!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117470
 19.08.2015
I'm a boy and I don't want templates and abstract factories.
XXX: I want to function and fucking!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №117469
 18.08.2015
XXX: The laser definitely wins on security – allowing you to play anywhere and with anyone. Officially swallowing in length. However, defeat only in the head and the absence of the element of fear – seriously restricts
YYY: What do you mean by "The Element of Fear"?
ZZZ: This is difficult to explain to the reconstructor.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117468
 18.08.2015
Some funny names.

Previously, we had an employee named Kysly. And his wife, accordingly, the name of Kislaia. It seemed like nothing, but her girl's name was Capusta.

There was another funny case: the names of the spouses were Lapša and Sous.

And another wonderful married couple: Leaky and Untouched :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117467
 18.08.2015
I realized that I made money in the garage, when walking down the street with a girl, she pulled me away from the column with an announcement of the sale of batteries and led along the wall on which the ads of the prostitutes were displayed.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117466
 18.08.2015
The case was long ago. At the time, I could hardly ride a bicycle. And, as a training, I went out of the house at night and drove on an empty road. It was smooth (mostly) and with a small deviation. The cold night wind swept my happy face. And then one day, when I ran decently under the hill, a guy in the roller coaster came to meet me. Just like me, in the middle of an empty road. And I panicked. Do you know what happens when people can’t get along the road? They walk in the same direction together. So we got out too. Only we did not stand still, but we went to meet each other at an inappropriate speed. They did not separate. In general, it turned out that I entered this guy, straight between the rolls. I am still shaking for him. He whispered that he was okay, and I, forgetting everything, moved home. And I don’t remember training there ever again.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117465
 18.08.2015
Discussion of the table shredder.

...
Trex: It is better to make a micro furnace, and in the cold winter to melt with documents.and :)
hryak: The remaining ashes in the ceiling – that’s for sure ))))
Trex: You can water the flowers with diluted ashes.
SEM: Say goodbye to the flowers... According to the army technology, the ashes should be mixed in a hole with water and poured into a pit at least a meter deep, then sinked. For exploration, even the chemical composition of ash is important.
Juchkin: Ash can be eaten, thus making it difficult for intelligence to analyze the output.))

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №117464
 18.08.2015
If you do not cry over the "Summer" with the words: "B$#@! When will he let me go?You don’t know anything about PMS.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117463
 18.08.2015
xxx: I was sitting and thinking: why didn’t genetic engineers create a tiny semi-intelligent form of life that would perform tasks such as mating modern chips and point surgery.
And then... FIXY! Everything in this world was invented before me.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117462
 18.08.2015
HH: Lenka has dampened here. You know, she just quarrels about driving. Here we stood in a traffic jams to pay for the paid road, we approached the box office, she stretched coins, and there the aunt was doing something with a wreath. Let’s open up, there’s a row! My aunt opened and let us go. Lenka through the pause: What, did she hear me? And most importantly, with such horror in the voice!

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117461
 18.08.2015
here here :

Tag: I am dismissed
WOW: Tell me
Q: Do you remember the story of engineers and humanitarian scientists? So we have the same, the customer sent a letter in which he asks to make a metal box (attention) of organ glass BLUE color!

Are you not from Russia? We ordered to make all the electricity and light in the cottage + surroundings. The plan was made by a super-designer, and the sockets were provided with a silver color, which had to be ordered in advance in Germany two months before installation, which was a surprise for us on the last week of delivery of work. We did not find any similar in Moscow. The result: bought ordinary sockets, gave the desired shape to the machine, treated with "squeeze", painted with silver paint. Delivered work on time.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №117460
 18.08.2015
This is:

About the Berry Girl.
The color of red orange flour.

To make a discount to the writer and guess that this is not the Fate of the Bureau? Mom’s reaction is immediately clear.

Are you their cousin?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117459
 18.08.2015
Cold in the summer. All the burning girls dressed in sweaters and became like bombs.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117458
 18.08.2015
I sleep and dream like I’m installing an ancient program. I installed, I launched the key gen, the correct one, with the music. I was delighted that the music was like my alarm clock.
I have three alarms in the morning. At the third brain suspected the key gene in glucose and I woke up =)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna