bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68849
 22.08.2012
When he opened his first cafe - began to write and call classmates, when he opened the second - the former began to name. Now I have two questions, if I open the third, will the same girl find me - the first love from kindergarten? And second, do the grandmothers really think that I need them with my children from my first marriages when I have two cafes? In fact, I don’t have to cook, but I’m touched on the job every day)))

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68848
 22.08.2012
I know you love every trash.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
You want our own country?
YYY: He does not exist.
Five friends decide to have a fun weekend and go to a mountain lake. There are rumors that it is enchanted and guarded by warriors from the outside world. Are they ready to meet them? Yes, they just came here for that, packing their jeeps with weapons and ammunition. Will they manage to cope with the squads of zombies, ghosts and other uncleanness, and not be late to work?
YYY: The link!! to
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68847
 22.08.2012
I belong to that generation when the word ‘gouf’ involuntarily corrods, because it’s forgotten "and".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №68846
 22.08.2012
“Happy is he who does not want to be in a foreign place.“ (John Stallone)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №68845
 22.08.2012
Not everyone knows that in the USSR, scientists in the masses lived poorly, but were the same patriots as everyone, especially before foreigners.
A colleague from France came to the academic institute, who visited us 12 years ago. He brought the photos of the first visit and showed them to us, happy to know others (in academic institutions the flow was close to zero, so that almost all the participants were present). Finding one colleague on the photo and finding him in the audience, the visitor with surprise noticed (rightly) that the costume in the cage was the same. To which a colleague, not stopping for a second, replied that this is his favorite color and style, and ordered them from the same carpenter.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №68844
 22.08.2012
The most important thing in life is not to let yourself be smaller!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №68843
 22.08.2012
Picking in the couch in the shape of the buttocks of Alexei allows him not to slide from the couch at angles of the slope of the couch up to 60 degrees! This allows you to use a sofa on a ship with a storm of 7 points, in a building with an earthquake of up to 6 points, as well as as a cockpit for a Formula 1 car, and even as an astronaut's seat when bringing Alexei into orbit! Science and Life 2012 :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №68842
 22.08.2012
A friend who lives in the most bandit district of Novokuznetsk:

"Demon and I discussed the horrors of the upcoming civil war and came to the conclusion that nothing will change in Zapsibe.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №68841
 22.08.2012
YYY: Pretend, we had an application - to update the Yandex card. We have roasted. Someone was there, Irka sent. he comes, the client shows him his house in maps unbuilt, says, I have completed it already, update!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №68840
 22.08.2012
I set my alarm at 6 in the morning, when it wakes you up, you break me off, okay?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №68839
 22.08.2012
My girlfriend’s real conversation with her husband two hours after she called him a goat:
Go to me, my cat.
She: I am not a goat, I am a thin goat.
If the husband is a goat, the wife is a goat.
She: Love of evil, and I am a thin lion

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №68838
 22.08.2012
With VIO:

Which laptop is better to buy HP or Asus?
A: Judging by the question, it is better to buy pink.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №68837
 22.08.2012
Rain, traffic jams, bus battles... stunned, the windows naturally stunned.
Two 17-year-old girls in general silence:
How wet are the windows? Why is the water here, when it must be outside?? to
Blythe is accurate.and (
Well, I realized, I just put the glass on the wrong side.
Under general applause and applause we touch)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №68836
 22.08.2012
// 1 Do not forget about the tea.
// 2nd Remove your hand from your face.
// 3 Straighten your back.

The Mom? How did you get here?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №68835
 22.08.2012
Father of 82 children

by Azatello Enikeev
They planted forests and built a city.

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68834
 22.08.2012
I've been to the hairdresser a hundred times, but I still don't know what to answer the question:"You have straight or steep hairdrinks", and they all ask and ask (

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №68833
 22.08.2012
XXX: Motivate me to write this fiction, or I’m so upset...
YYY: Lulu of N-Nada?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №68832
 22.08.2012
We have a new admin from the entire women’s team of 24 girls who chose the most terrible, thick and stupid. I learned to go to the gym, read books, and watch myself. She taught me to cook, wash, clean... In general, she was so clever, so beautiful that all the babies were jealous. At first, they were much better than her. But he decided not to take the ready, but to blind what he needed, from scratch.
Admin, are you talking about it? Does he not work for Gente?
Oh yeah, how did you guess?

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68831
 22.08.2012
I: Sorry, it’s not easy with us. He: Yes, yes, I know) And we sit on, we drink a cup. And in my head it revolves: “You are a fool, a fool... For three years I have never understood why I don’t go out to date with anyone, and why every new girlfriend of you causes me such an irritation.”

And 3 years ago "You are my friend, I can’t sleep with you!"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №68830
 22.08.2012
If your girlfriend stopped smoking and drinking beer, she started eating healthy food.
Do not jump from the joy that she will go to fitness in the future, will take an elastic ass and a tightened figure. Maybe she’s just pregnant =)

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