bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №132391
 20.08.2016
My brother still does not understand that it is not so: four years lived together, he outside of marriage on parental money bought an apartment, the flight is normal. “We are free people of the 21st century, we don’t need it.” Here the girl's relatives die, leaving her several apartments at once, but here's the trouble: moving in them is meaningless, geographically. She decides to sell, for the money earned to buy a home, the amount is drawn for our places is very decent, begins to look after a good cottage for the future.
...and here it turns out that for a brother the legal marriage is very, very important. They just have to play a wedding in the next six months!
I always knew he was a fool, but to be so stupid was news.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132390
 20.08.2016
"Explanatory note: I, the technician Ivanov I.I., came to the application to the client, as a result of the diagnosis, found that it was necessary to carry out work on the TCD. As I climbed into the technical room to the TCD, I saw a rat. She stood on her back legs next to the box and looked at me. I picked up the stick and struck the rat with it, after which it struck me. I turned and left. I was afraid that she might attack me and cause harm incompatible with life. Please ensure the safety of my workplace and eliminate the cause of failure to execute the application.”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132389
 19.08.2016
What are you doing, aaah!! to

There were cats on the way.

The poor cats.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132388
 19.08.2016
Sysadmin has been arranged to us diversely developed.

His name is Pushkin. And in accounting he was nicknamed Gogol))

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №132387
 19.08.2016
I am in shock! I don’t know with whom to share.
I went to a shop in the village. On the way back, the road stopped - to the house about a kilometer, it was lazy to go. While I was driving, the man asked me if I liked cognac. I say no, I don’t like it at all, at all. If you need to drink one or two glasses of vodka. He said, “Well, buy yourself something delicious, and put your hand in a bag of food. I come home - in the package two papers: 500 and 100 rubles. What was it?! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №132386
 19.08.2016
The biggest misconception of a woman is that she will change.
The biggest mistake of a man is that he will not go anywhere.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132385
 19.08.2016
(Woman goes to the gym)
There will soon be no shirt on your blade!
I wear the size M very well.
The word “mammon”?

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №132384
 19.08.2016
Where is Karl? Did you break it up and put it in a box with socks?
YYY: What is it? I don’t have a box with socks.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №132383
 19.08.2016
My grandmother lived with two strawberries.
They ate sushi and drank sushi.
Lord Jesus.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132382
 19.08.2016
We were kicked up by the kids at ZAGS. They gathered little things, bought beautiful rings from wire with glass. Mom and Dad, if you were already married, we bought you rings. (The oldest was 7 years old). Well, I had to inform the state about intimate relationships. The third child was born in joy. Nothing except my name has changed. The property was distributed in equal shares before the wedding. We might go to the ZAGS right away, but there was no money for the wedding, parents on both sides sent us to a walking erotic, two students, 19 years old, friends without a year week, what a fun wedding, run away in a year. 13 years, the flight is normal. And it happens, yes. FIG knows what’s going to happen next, we’ll survive – we’ll see.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №132381
 19.08.2016
That is, her family was looking for a way to solve their apartment problem at the expense of the wedding, and he was an adapter? The beauty! A model of female logic.

Idiots wrote that. The family was looking for a way to solve the apartment issue for a young family.
Everyone understood his own corruption.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132380
 19.08.2016
and LIFHACK:

I was looking for a cat puppet. In the process she was bitten, scratched, scratched. Whether the hair is thick, or the cat is blunt. not found. But Michai, the cat, pleased, wants to play more )))

How to find a cat's bud: somewhere in the middle of the cat's bud can be felt a small depth. Here is his puppet.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №132379
 19.08.2016
Property transactions are better done without being married. This as an example.

A notary to help you, you can do in marriage, only with intelligence. As an example, a couple decided to buy an apartment, she had two lamas, he had three, notarial shares in common property and all. Where did they get? In the case of divorce, the property was sold, the parents helped) divides according to shares.

And all your excuses are just insecurity in your partner that this is what it is, for the rest of your life. Not the love of Nietzsche.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132378
 19.08.2016
In our boys several girls in the sixth-seventh grade were constantly striking their shirts, then all kinds of places were touched... I dreamed that I was in their place, I would smell eggs for such a thing... Well, or at least a heels with all the feet or leg bones...
and breath.
But for some reason no one touched me.

Therefore, they did not strike what they heard - from this sting can be. A "care for equal" boys are neither taught nor taught.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №132377
 19.08.2016
I see, many are trying to underestimate the value of marriage - and divorce easily, and generally no guarantees... without understanding the simple thing - the pursuit of worship is not a guarantee, but an intention.
Yes, there are no guarantees... But there is a desire and a desire to live life with this person. Is it not?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №132376
 19.08.2016
Equal is when you have flowers, candy, restaurants and other delights, and we have beautiful eyes and promises to think?

I once offered a guy a box of candy, he was offended.
and :)
Are you sure you will get a bouquet of flowers in response?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132375
 19.08.2016
xxx: I wondered - why HR climb on social networks to candidates, and then wonder?
xxx: they would still climb into cowards, and then fight in hysteria, finding a member there.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132374
 19.08.2016
One online store where I buy all kinds of household stuff is good for everyone, except for one: call with an offer of the type "we have a stock - three garbage cans at the price of two!"" succeeds at the most inappropriate moment (well, and generally begins to hang what is ringing, not writing). I can get a suggestion from the boss, perform a marital duty, or wait there at a dying grandmother’s hospital bed – they’re here like here!

Whenever I read on the Internet complaints about irresponsible customers who do not value good treatment, I remember these beautiful people. I want to kill immediately.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №132373
 19.08.2016
I watch the series. I come to the conclusion that the structure of American society is as follows: psychotherapists, psychotherapists, psychotherapists, lawyers, lawyers, lawyers, lawyers, psychotherapists, lawyers, psychotherapists, and all this is slightly diluted by maniacs and farmers. Other combinations are allowed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132372
 19.08.2016
xxx: Do you know what is the difference between flash and Steve Jobs, who buried this flash?
The funeral of Steve Jobs

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