bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101721
 12.08.2014
And it is unclear why all the TV channels show the tragedy of the Southeast and the bombing of our territory in combination with the fact that the government does nothing to stop it. Are they consciously wrapped?
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Any assistance without the mandate of the UN peacekeepers or other international organization – Russia’s involvement in a military conflict => openly demonized Russia => NATO action to peace Russia => war in Europe =>...
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[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №101720
 12.08.2014
The mouse.

What does a city cat do when it sees a live mouse for the first time?

Do you know what a citywoman is doing in such a situation?

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101719
 12.08.2014
On the Ural in the store I see competition only among local suppliers of products. Foreign here if it comes, then something long-playing and already very little to do with natural products. There are price conspiracies, but they are quickly and clearly explained to them all the depth of their misconceptions about government policy.
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The fucking. As a child, forty years ago, I read a book of ancient import anecdotes. And there was a mention of a fool who was not afraid of the price of flour, because he only buys ready-made bread. What is characteristic - there was no explanation, but even the child understood why it was a fool.
In the store you can see the finished products. From what raw materials they are made, you do not see. But the matter is not even that. Let you have a miracle of patriotism there, and everything is made from local raw materials. But is this foreigner eaten somewhere? In Moscow, in Peter? They will eat local food. You will eat in a day.
Well, how, in one head, the huge losses of Europe (that is, the slaughter was delivered to Russia a lot) and "we will not be affected, no one has eaten it"? Russia bought millions of tons of grazing in Europe and buried them at night?

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101718
 12.08.2014
I looked into the spoon, shaved with a fork.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101717
 12.08.2014
Our cat is terrible, visiting the bowl produces excavation work before bleaching, periodically providing a sound signal. So we try to clean him immediately, so that he does not suffer. In the pot filler is wood, from those that dissolve from moisture into powder.
Here somehow I come from work, the husband after the comp, from the side of the bowl scratches and trembles the earth.
Why don’t you clean?
M: (philosophically) I wait... until the half-life is over...

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101716
 12.08.2014
for the fun:

She sits at the table and looks at this circus with sadness.

Why immediately sad? We rushed.
– – – – –

We will go together in a few months, when everyone, including the inhabitants of the Lower Piperishes, foods will increase twice, and the salary will remain the same.
No, do you really not catch that the local producers left in pride alone will be delighted with the opportunity to foolishly hit the prices, leaving the quantity and quality at the previous level? Should they get rid of them if they can now get more money for the same thing?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101715
 12.08.2014
You have to live on an uninhabited island for a month. You can take something or someone in a single copy.
I choose a prostitute.
xxx is sure?
YYYY :YYYY
XX: What will you do to the lion?
XXX is a prostitute.
And the second lion?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №101714
 12.08.2014
Answered by mail:
The question:
Why are the answers always the first? :)
The first answer:
Go to Nashville

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №101713
 12.08.2014
They can in principle not lie and not spend the country's taxes on paid propagandists?
– – – – –
No, because not all the population of the country has learned to understand the text read or heard information.
However, huge progress has already been made on this path. Already in the news you can talk about the decline of the course, against the background of the picture with the rise of that, and speak about the general approval, showing the silent people.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №101712
 12.08.2014
I sat in the subway, played the Blood Bowl on a tablet (who is curious, this is such an American football simulator by Warhammer). He was completely absorbed by the game, rushed to victory and almost made a fateful mistake. But in a fraction of a second of the way I led my player to the touchdown, my finger suddenly stopped by a random stranger sitting next to me and pointed me to my mistake. It was my uncle, 55 years old. A very positive experience :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101711
 12.08.2014
In a box office, from one film forum: "...since this definition is more suitable for the Father of the Cross not just for this film".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101710
 12.08.2014
Explain to my friend:
Move and insert. Don’t worry, I didn’t do it the first time either. And removing, by the way, is more difficult. Move more out! Put it in immediately! Insert it more confidently!
Only somewhere in the middle of the process came out that on the side could not be very clear that I teach her to wear contact lenses only :)

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101709
 12.08.2014
There are city heroes. Are there city thieves? I imagine myself so:
The name of the red flag is the small town of East Krzysztof.
Honorary Order of Lenin city-destroyer of Huevo-Kukuyevo.
Three times the order-bearing city-buoyed alcoholic Tajiyil.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101708
 12.08.2014
From WoW:
- I sit in the bushes on the shore of the lake in Nagrande, I don't touch anyone, I catch fish, I wait for the line for pvp-urine. Beauty, fish and sun. Suddenly behind the boom, the earth is shaking. The quest "Uncle Vasya" has arrived. And I forgot about him. Do I need this three times passed quest when the curse is ripped? Have you been on vacation for three years? I wiped him with a whip. From the principle. I feared the fish here.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101707
 12.08.2014
I took a bottle of Italian minerals in the store, and the inscription on it was: without GMOs... Where are some organisms in the minerals?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №101706
 12.08.2014
The Novosibirsk Automobile Group. "Congratulations on the Day of Birth"
I tried for five seconds to figure out what the town of Tara was. Thank you, "feast" and the day of the middle kind led to the right thoughts.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №101705
 12.08.2014
This is not a new design, it is a new design.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №101704
 12.08.2014
You can’t become an alpha in a week!
YYY: That is, you’re saying you can bump a week and you’re not going to get anything?
XX: Yes, it is a skill.
zzz: The resistance (:
ccc: The youth

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №101703
 12.08.2014
My daughter is small, 2 years old. Go with her to the public toilet. My child cried with the corresponding sounds, then silenced for half a minute. She breathes up as if the universe’s sorrow had fallen on her and seriously says: “Well, fse, slip..."

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №101702
 12.08.2014
Maelihnon: I am troubled by the question. Why, how many, their mother, hair rubber you buy, in a year will not be one?
I did the experiment, I bought 50. A year has passed, two remains.
Somewhere there is a place where they go to die with solitary socks.

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