bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №117217
 12.08.2015
Have you been on the internet lately? There was recently one with psychoses, now a girl with panic attacks from one kind of children. Are there grandmothers among you? Well, let’s demand that all men stand still and smell violets, did not try?
No one goes to a psychiatrist.
You can’t love even blacks, even bus drivers. But demanding that they play ghosts when you appear is a bit too much, right?
To hurt her is shameful. Shame not to be treated.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №117216
 12.08.2015
X: I don’t put up the giraffe! After the shower he belted with a towel, bended and broke the towel on his ass!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №117215
 12.08.2015
Steroids are synthetic hormones.
= = = is = is = is = is = is
You can’t read it anymore, and you understand that you’re stupid. Steroids are hormones based on cholesterol. And these are sex hormones and hormones of the adrenal cortex. So I went to teach biochemistry.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №117214
 12.08.2015
When I was 19 and my brother was 5.

I was on my brother’s back.
All over the house, from the end to the end.
“Don’t hurt me,” my mother said.
“Don’t be upset,” said the father.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117213
 12.08.2015
Serehio: I’m going past a wife sitting on a women’s forum. I see the topic of the forum "I am looking for a man 19 cm"
Serehio: Well, I think the aunts were completely shrinking. Not only is "c’s accuracy up to a millimeter"(c), but the forum also writes about it.
Serehio: I told my wife. She looked at me, you would see.
serehio: It turns out to be a forum of porcelain doll collectors. And dolls, it turns out, have standards of size. 12, 19 and 25. And there some lady asks where to buy a puppet man with a height of 19 cm.
Serehio: Now it is somehow uncomfortable to look a wife in the eyes.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №117212
 12.08.2015
xxx: A separate boiler awaits the authors of the Kursk station of Moscow in hell
YYY: but they won’t find him.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №117211
 12.08.2015
What is the point of offering 3-4-5 times more money, if such a salary with a very high probability will come the same muddle, who wants to stress less and get more?

Our city fathers also discussed this year, determining the salary for beach rescuers at the level of the subsistence minimum (about 6 thousand).
After a month of the beach season, they convened a meeting in the city council and sincerely astonished, looking for the culprits: "how is it so!!! No one wants to work"

When they were told "the boys, so the salary about nothing" the cry was still that "you all translate into money, so you can't" (at a salary of 150 it's easy to say that you can work for 6)

This year there are no beaches without rescuers.
Because all the youth went where money is paid.

Who is wise?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №117210
 12.08.2015
>>> For some reason, Russian cheeses have no taste and are more like a tasteless chewing gum. The taste is only in Kostromsky - salty.

You, if anything, read the label to the end, now there are cheese products in the form of cheese, here they are really rubber rubber. My colleague jokes: now the cakes on the street consist of components: water, thickener, flavor "Cake".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117209
 12.08.2015
XXX: Flowers of grief and sorrow painted my face
MeGoMa4o: What is it?
and xx :(
MeGoMa4o: Are you a sad guy?
XX: Are you, like primitive people, able to decode information contained only in primitive graphic images?
MeGoMa4o: What?? to
Thread: XD
MeGoMa4o: What is RJosh?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117208
 12.08.2015
Benefits: A pleasant spa area. Disadvantages: PHOTOGRAPHER PAVEL, who offers intimate services to everyone
And who can do it with dignity.)

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117207
 12.08.2015
An American raped a horse.29-year-old boy explained to law enforcement that he wanted the animal to get pregnant from him. I wanted the goat to get pregnant with me. I hoped that we would have a centaur." A man explained...And what are you ready to do to your dream?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117206
 12.08.2015
The Russians, of course, have a difference between "can’t", "can’t at all" and " categorically prohibited", but it is inversely proportional to the force of the prohibition. My wife took pictures from her trip to the United States. On one of the photos, they all stand on the shore of some muddy lake, right behind the sign "DANGER! The alligators! Do not cross!"

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №117205
 12.08.2015
We replaced our usual favorite food with more affordable... instead of cabbage we used shrub leaves, ate frogs... within a month my mother and older sister died... (Jack Griffin) a memory of a man who lived in the United States.
It is...
Great googling exercise for beginners. The task: (1) to find the source and (2) to understand what is written there. Questions for Self-Control:

1st Who wrote the story of Jack Griffin?
2nd Who translated it into Russian?
Three How old was Jack during the Great Depression?
4 is From what bush did Little Jack eat the leaves?
5 is What other animals (other than frogs) did the hungry boy eat?
6 is What year did Jack’s mother and sister die? When was the Great Depression?
7 is Do you think the English text is reliable? Why is?
8 is How is the English text different from the Russian translation? How do you explain this difference?

Indication: everything is open access and indexed by search engines.

And I advise the preachers to take a quote about the Great Depression from Steinbach, “The Grains of Wrath.” Maybe from a book, maybe from a movie.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117204
 12.08.2015
Talk about knives.
We had a field in the yard, but there was no gate. We gathered all over the courtyard and broke a large iron gate near the school from the neighboring area. Then the students of that school came to us and closed their gates at us. We did not shrink and opened the door for the second time. They stayed here, they have been here for 20 years.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117203
 12.08.2015
Attention to Megaphone customers
Due to the unusual positioning of the hands of the new leading programmer,
It is recommended to approach the service with extreme caution "promised payment",
The amount of the commission is automatically deducted from the promised payment.
And as a result, the internet (bubble crack) does not appear!
If you want to drop the missing amount to make a review.
for the main service, then this money (the thunderstorm) is paid in part.
The promised payment, and the internet (thunder and lightning) DOES NOT appear!!!! to
crowdfunding action - give us 10% of the type))) Well...you want to live - know how to turn.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117202
 12.08.2015
From comments to a new company based on Google:
Google didn’t have anything to buy and he decided to buy himself

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117201
 12.08.2015
My Russian friend knows badly.
I don’t want animals at home, I don’t like them. And in general, I’m a sadist—a shocked girlfriend slowly digests the news. He sees her face and understands that he said something wrong.- Well, that is, the gardener! The gardener!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117200
 12.08.2015
xxx: Pips, do you have familiar specialists who can conduct a deep audit of a complex system?
xxx: the client is willing to pay well
xxx: is interested in the person, not the team
XXX: Because everything is over confidential
Yes, one person is easier to eliminate.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №117199
 12.08.2015
I want to drink French wine on Saturdays and eat cheese with mold, why is this condemned by many who sit here?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №117198
 12.08.2015
How I earned on freelance:
1) registered, gave 50 cents (27 rubles) for registration;
2) Waited two weeks
3) Deleted the account and took his 50 cents (32 rubles).

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