I'm going to my wedding today.
XXX: That’s why I don’t work
Whose wedding is it?
XXX is Lenin :)
YYY: He is dead a long time ago!

xxh: my mom bought a cache, I decided to look in the internet, how it looks when unclean, called my mom to show pictures, for half a minute maximum cut off it, she left the pig kidneys cut in the kitchen, returned to the kitchen, and there our cat stands on the seat and folds from the table to the floor one piece after the other, and at the bottom the cat and their son eat fast-falled meat. Mom went to the kitchen, the cat saw her and went down to the family to grab meat))))))collectively worked )))))

Sasha: I generally believe that supporting trees with wooden sticks is like making bones from people’s bones!

Announcement in the newspaper:
The computer club requires a system administrator with knowledge of the program "Linex", z/p 20000 rubles."

There once lived in the area of pepper alone. Treated and adequate. Bukhoy is a whisper, "galakteko in danger!" Well, he usually stretched such an explosive to people - to the local cabbage. The establishments were shaken - two meters tall and ten years of experience, seeing from a distance the pepper wandering in the cabbage, stepped it 5-10 meters from the threshold, and when the pepper was within its reach, - simply put the palm of the pepper on his shoulders and carefully unfolded it. Pepper, not contemplating, not resisting, dropped back, thinking that it was going in the right direction, and if it still returned, it broke out, having fun, methodically repeated the procedure. No scandals and beatings.

xxx: 3 years ago, I was added by a girl who was looking for a boy... but I don't get acquainted, the time has passed now comes again authorization from her... her daughter is now looking for a daddy! Facepalm epic file

Q: I hate it!
Q. Do you know? and :)
K : Yes! It was worth in some century to open a photo porn, and when, white, the boss came in, I could not close the window! It depends! Scuco, I am without a prize...for the third time in a row...

Night shift, therapeutic department

I sit at the post at 2 o'clock at night, playing quietly in alpha space.

From the darkness, the grandmother suddenly came out... quietly so...wrapped in the dust...come from behind and quietly so asks "and the toilet is here?"I barely at the workplace the toilet did not arrange!!! to

1: A eight-meter monument to the hero of the film epic “Star Wars”, the robot R2D2, was proposed around the building of the Boguchan hydroelectric power plant. The author of the initiative was a resident of the city of Kodynsk Kezemsky district of Krasnoyarsk region, reports "Tajga.Info".
A man named Maxim (name is not known) addressed with a letter about R2D2 to Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. The text of the letter was published on the website NizhnePriangare.RF, devoted to issues of social and environmental development of the region.
Better statue of Lady Paddle at the time of conception of Luke Skywalker
2: and the signature "My husband is Darth Vader, and what did you?"

I understood now! Sobyanin is the main conspirator among the opposition. During revolutions and revolts, it is much more convenient to forge the pavement tiles and to put them into a hated mode than to painfully grind the asphalt for the same purposes!

The accountant calls the TP with an error.
What error does the program make?
- Thirim-tyrim, mem-param, contact the technical support.

Would you like to eat dinner with me on Saturday?
It’s nice, but I’m going to get married on Saturday.
Maybe on Friday?

Salad is delicious?
- Our mom decided to put the whole family on a diet, and cooked soup with celery, the diet was great, I didn't eat anything at all :)

I went on vacation, returned - the client has not been in contact for 2 weeks, then appeared.

Alexander : Hi you. How about completing the project?))
The Client: Hi
Alexander: And you
Before you had a lot of events.
I left Belarus forever.

Work should be approached with the head, to rest - without it.

Strategy of War
My classmate Anja with her daughter and old mother lives in the country near Peter all summer. The house is very old, grandfather built it.
Live and rejoice, only three years ago, the general idyll of the country village was destroyed by a new neighbor of absolutely banditic appearance and content.
The new master of life is called Artem - a healthy man with golden teeth (so far everyone guesses - he is an Armenian or a Gypsies, and they do not decide to ask, and do correctly...) Artem started with the fact that he bought two parts. Then he cut off his own possessions.
The neighbor moved to the right half of his new bathroom, and when he was upset, the city came in with expensive jeeps mixed with rugged coins, from which brothers of exactly the same unexplained nationality rose up and Artem under a general laugh, whispered the offended neighbor with his amber brushes on his lips, saying: "Learn to talk politely, then people will respect you too... he doesn't like my bath... And do you like to breathe air?"
When Artem became an artist. The membership fees of the Chairman of the Cooperative increased significantly.
But back to Anna. Her grandfather inherited an old well, which he own-handedly digged on his site with the help of a spade and a foolish vine.
No one had any more drinking water (the burdock that flows from the crane, no one had yet decided to drink). On the way out of the house, the holidaymakers picked up huge canes of drinking water from a column five kilometers from the village, for the weekend was enough with interest. So they lived. If some neighbor, left for a week old man, was running out of water, of course, Anja always let such a sufferer with a bowl to his well.
But here on the horizon, Arthem stumbled.
At first he, jealous of the happiness of others, began to look for water in himself. He pushed the excavators, turned his huge plot into a barracks, but there was no water.
Then a Roma or Armenian came to Anna and gave her an ultimatum: “Neighbor, since no one has water, your water should become public. All, your curly life is over! So I give you a week of time - cut the passage in your fence and from here to the well remove the beds, so that people will have a free way to your water."
Anja tried to object, saying, if we make a passage on our unfortunate six hundred, then what will be left of us? And the well is not bottomless, not always enough water, and...
Arthem interrupted her with a simple and honest question:
My aunt decided to fight with me. You are ready for yourself
The war...?
A week later, when the deadline of the ultimatum came out, an Armenian Gypsies with a gasoline pile cut an arch in a wooden fence, and through the hole that formed immediately became apparent that the Annie family was not ready for the war.
The daughter is crying, the mother's heart has grabbed, and Anja was not delighted with the start of the fighting. On this note, an old village grandmother knocked into the house, who had been wearing steam milk from her cow for many years.
Quickly asking - what is in the house for mourning, and the deceased is not, received an exhaustive answer and... amused:
Well, you are urban, just like children, you can’t live on.
You do not know how to value and protect yourself.
Anna objected to:
How to protect? With an empty hole on him? You would see him.
Even your neighborhood is on its folds.
I don’t want to watch, but not everything is resolved by force. I want my own
My son, Mitka, will go to the grave of life and take that shit away from yours.
The wells. You’re only on gasoline, but on beer. will do.
The next day, near the well was already painted an old, dirty village toilet. Usual such a wooden toilet - this stands on any garden.
Seeing this miracle, Arthem became angry:
You are fucking! How could you paraphinize your drinking water? Same
Now put your dirty stuff on. Thou thou! I even fell with you.
to talk!
On this Armenian forever turned off the fighting and lost interest in strategic access to the water, and his front intelligence never learned that there was no hole under the wooden house - it was a fake airfield, and the real bio-airport, as before, was inside the house.
But the war has not yet ended...
Grandma's son Dima, after rebuilding the national economy after the war for half a liter (he made a gap in the fence), said:
- Here is the cattle base, such a fence ruined! Don’t worry, I’m just
I will punish him in my own way.
Artem's house on one side went out on the busy track and on Sunday evening, Dima passing by, stopped and carefully laid several ordinary plastic bags with garbage under his windows.
All the rest was accomplished by the herd instinct of the holidaymakers, hundreds of kilometers wrapped in the traffic jams home.
Half an hour later, near Artem's house, a garbage hole grew up of such size that you can play the "King of the Mountain" at least ten times.
Since then, two years have passed that the poor Armenian Gypsies did not do: and carried out the washing machine and the face was beaten by the sinkers, nothing helped. The instinct of the holidaymakers going with the garbage on the grass is stronger than any Gypsy Armenian, even as brutal as this one. So he still lives near a huge stinking bunch of garbage, next to the advertisement plaque: “Do not throw garbage!”

There was a rumor that before the President's visit all the prostitutes were expelled from the city. I walk past the town hall today, I look – no, everyone is in place, to work with portfolios are in a hurry...

When I was asked about the list of my achievements, my father replied briefly.
This DOBOEB yesterday couple who starts at 2 o'clock slept

Acquisition of Motorola Mobile – $12.5 billion by MasterCard
To see Steve Jobs’s face when he found out about it was invaluable.

For concerts under the phonogram must be paid with photocopies of money.
by Ronnie James Dio