bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №117197
 12.08.2015
It does not follow from the fact that you are offended and humiliated that you are bad, but that you are good also does not follow, but only that you are weak.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117196
 12.08.2015
There was a small case at work. As a result of my not very competent excavation in the database of the site, in our catalog got an old-old service, which we do not provide for several years. At the price of 0 rubles. In the evening, three purchases were made. Okay, I call the customers, explain that the mistake, accidentally got, everyone understands everything, they say that they specially arranged the purchase so that we can fix our basket. All except one. The man begins to download the rights, say that according to the law of the offer, we are obliged to sell him this service, there is a description, there is a price, I want to buy it, and I will file for you in court, I am a lawyer, etc. I understand that a man is either bored or just intentionally going into conflict. I answered, well, well well. We acknowledge your mistake, no problems, consider that the service we have sold to you, however, can not provide. Therefore, in accordance with the law on consumer protection, I offer you to issue a refund of money in the amount of zero rubles, zero copies. Or, if you do not need such money, and you still want to use the services of our company, choose any other available position. The difference in value you will have to pay.
The man was silent for five seconds, and then so long: "Well, you and суууууууука" and throws the phone.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №117195
 12.08.2015
The government proposed to limit livestock in private farms. At the same time, I propose to reduce the cattle in the government.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117194
 12.08.2015
Dna came to the cafe to check the mail, and the waitress told her: show the passport. And he says, here is another. He said, “There is no wifey. And she is him: and you have a tiramisu in the menu - and mascarpone from where, m? And he is her: and you have a rainbow on your shirt! And she is to him: and you have a picture of Eva Green naked on the wall, and the "18+" mark where?! And he says to her: I have to check again, maybe you have cowards! And she's like that - once, and the shirt raises: what, you're convinced? And he is like that: Well, we will not be without a passport anyway. She then says to him, “Okay, I’m 37, my son is eleven, divorced. And he says, “My thirteen years, I haven’t seen it for two years. Your eyes are beautiful. If very necessary, check the mail, password: the name of our cafe, only the opposite. And she says to him: thank you. I left the phone later.

by _DNA

The quote is not mine, just liked, a year ago, it would be deleted.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117193
 12.08.2015
In general, the whole list of your fairy tales tells about life in a big city in Soviet times (or in general childhood).

My parents were acquainted. In the 90s, she married an American, not poor at all and not even a middle class. One of the parents (I don’t remember who exactly) is a descendant of “white immigrants.”
Not the essence.
She regularly visited her parents. Once I came with my husband, about 95-96 years old, I was studying at the institute then. We came to visit them. I remember very well how he said at the time, “You don’t understand what country you ruined. You have a child born (free) - it immediately begins to be treated for free. Then he goes and receives compulsory free secondary education. Then, if you want, a free high school. Then his state provides work, although he has zero experience. If he leaves to another city - he is given a place in a dormitory and put in line for free accommodation. In a few years, he gets his own free housing. And then the state pays him a pension that he can normally live on. And all this time he is treated for free. We have not even dreamed of this - even secondary education for children is a considerable burden on parents, and the higher many simply cannot afford. Own housing - a half-life loan, health insurance not everyone can afford. For serious operations, many sell everything they have. And you destroyed it yourself".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117192
 12.08.2015
The native Moscow. I only eat parmesan with chamomile, which I am acquainted with by customs officers (I am a moscovite). I don’t do anything, I live in one apartment, I rent 3 (I’m a moscovite). Periodically I get a tribute from the castle (I am a moscovite). Completely eaten. You say everything right. What did it cost me? and nothing. I was born here just like my parents and my parents, who were enriched by the Service for the Enrichment of the Moscovites at the expense of the rest of Russia.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №117191
 12.08.2015
Google becomes “daughter” of Alphabet and replaces CEO
Yandex responded to this with the creation of JSC "Abvgdeika"

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117190
 12.08.2015
Article:In Krasnoyarsk electric channels sing particles about safety rules
Anjuta: In the Krasnoyarsk administration would be better to sing bribes about bribery, retaliation and lawlessness)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №117189
 11.08.2015
The price of oil is falling worldwide, but gasoline is falling. Why so?
YYY: Because we do it not from oil, but from greed.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117188
 11.08.2015
A month ago, the management promised to change our working phones for more reliable (egg tubes at the construction site often break and the network is often not seen). It happened today!
Today, all 50 people received new phones!
They called everyone and distributed simple white boxes. and heavy. When they opened the rubber in the office it stood such that the walls trembled. In the box was a Chinese Nokia 3310. Blue, green and pink.
We are looking forward to objects...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117187
 11.08.2015
by Fuck:
____________
both of them. Trahatso has to travel, do anything, and they are who are dumb in the series, who are dragging in toys. % of the new generation.
____________
The fucking generation is lovers of telling others what and when to do. It would be better to fuck them in condoms at first.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №117186
 11.08.2015
My youngest in the room on the floor lay a carpet with a pattern of roads.
The games were also relevant... machines on the roads drive or put one by one, such as traffic jams.
As we come in the evening in the covering hole:
Yogurt is what?
This is a hole on the road...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117185
 11.08.2015
Among the comments to the news that the universe will cease to exist in some unthinkable number of years, one came out:
I don’t have time to pay the mortgage :-(

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117184
 11.08.2015
Call to TP:

Manager: “What do you see on the screen?”
K: “Eyeye, here the parol paints, here the mocked
It is painting!”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117183
 11.08.2015
both of them. Trahatso has to travel, do anything, and they are who are dumb in the series, who are dragging in toys. % of the new generation.
__________
Don’t tell me what to do and I won’t tell you where to go. Because with the same success one can say that it is yours to travel and engage in "something" consistently, work is necessary, and boring - so do repairs, take work and plant potatoes. And the other is that it is sinful to fuck, all the world is destroyed and it is necessary to pray and think about the soul. And they’ll be just as right, because that’s the meaning of life.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117182
 11.08.2015
>>[11:35:22] <Bantyc> The SBC wall brick pallet holds 480 bricks. 100 bricks is about a fifth of the pallet. Thanks for attention. Your K.O.

Vancouver! You are back!!! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117181
 11.08.2015
7 August
Good morning, saw you in the N community, are you interested in our site building courses?
Noop, I work in the backyard.
10 August
Good morning, saw you in the N community, are you interested in our site building courses?
Three days have passed and I haven’t had time to resign.
XHH:Soryan:D has worked out

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117180
 11.08.2015
This is the herb of our district - Horseshoe. The mother-pellican on the right feeds her three children with meat from her broken breasts :crazy: - well, so it is written in the decryption of the emblem :D and here's what it feels like to me, the mother of three children, to walk from work by such a emblem in the evening? :D

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117179
 11.08.2015
to this:
And the robot will not be able to "bear" the brain :) I think that because of this the popularity of male robots will be much lower than women robots :)

If a robot-man will regularly satisfy a woman in bed, he will not have to bear the brain.
___________________________
I have a personal life experience and a great experience of observing couples, the specificity of the work allows, women always bear the brain if they are not self-sufficient, to men this is also to be treated, so don’t la la, and the robot will be fucking like any household item when it will swallow or just from nothing to do

All good, bobra, and brew for bobra.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №117178
 11.08.2015
News: developed automotive amortizers that can extract energy from holes on roads.
In the CIS such roads that with such technology you can drive almost without fuel consumption.
YYY: A perpetual engine that works only on the territory of Russia.

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