bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116997
 06.08.2015
And we are living risky again, the astonished world is trembling, and the hours of Peskov are ticking, and the cheese is burning in the oven.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116996
 06.08.2015
It’s not the first time I’ve seen stories of joyfully weight-loss girls spit on those who for some reason don’t lose weight. Apparently, weight loss gives +100 to the heart rate: like, I now have 42 size, and you are all fat cows, who also eat the hell knows what, and so on.
What do you really care about other people’s dimensions and lifestyle? Your decision to lose weight is just your decision, and it doesn’t make you better than others. If you don’t like someone, turn away and that’s all.
I had to successfully lose weight and maintain the result ( from 50-52 to 46-48 sizes, but this is what I wanted to), and just without nutritionists: it was necessary to slightly adjust the diet and start playing sports. So, full women have never irritated me (and do not irritate me), unlike self-loving leaners.
I also had to hear my full colleagues talk about losing weight by eating pizza with mayonnaise (!And something that did not cause me to desire to teach them or to say to them behind their backs: “Well, idiots!” Of course, it is understandable that you can hardly lose weight, but it is their problem, not mine. Per they will gather and change their regime, and not; I will not think about it, which I wish the rest.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116995
 06.08.2015
I sit in front of the telecar, jump the horror, drink a beer, look at something about spider monsters. And the door to the apartment is open for the length of the safety chain, ventilate. It was dark in the room and I got into the story. And suddenly I feel my nails squeezing into my legs, and crawling up. I jump a meter from the couch with fear and throw away some shit over the entire length of the room... The poor neighbor’s cat was as scared as I was.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №116994
 06.08.2015
Hawking is still so stubborn and boring today that λ Eridan is all flying around for three parsecs. And the idiot, ready to fly into the past to him for a party in the whole universe will not be found!

Greetings from the 7068 year of your calculation!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116993
 06.08.2015
Why is your cat not like your owners?
He is receptionist.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116992
 06.08.2015
News: We patrol a trio with California police in the face of officer Jacobs.

Officer Jacob and officer Nescafe

Oh God, what a joke.

xxxh: this is I still about "Jacobs - three in one" joke stunned )))

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №116991
 06.08.2015
= = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
Under my balcony a aunt walks in a giant hollow chicken shirt and shirt. The Russian beauty, Karl.
I remind you, Sevastopol City, August, on board +32. I understand that it was cold after yesterday’s storm, but not so much.
= = = is = is = is = is = is
Quiet, only quiet, this is not an open-door day at Huthor, but just a promotion of some approaching fur fair. (Hutor Petnicki - our city psychiatric hospital)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116990
 06.08.2015
In my eyes, on August 2 at the crossroads, the Mazda and Honda clashed :) the aircrafts (from both cars) hit each other's hands, hugged each other and departed on different sides :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116989
 06.08.2015
Sometimes it seems that the Russian government is playing a heroic strategy of the type of Civilization.

The people rebelled? Increase the influence of the church. Leave the zombies.

Does the population not grow? Prohibition of foreign condoms.

Captured a piece of foreign territory? Start propaganda about fascists!

Has the world begun to get upset? We prepare for isolation, limit the import of food. Let us say that these are counter-sanctions.

There is one problem. The strategies are not people, but units.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116988
 06.08.2015
I’m sitting with my iPad in the innet, suddenly accidentally calling Siri voice assistant (s), and she’s waiting for my command. Well I say to her "close"
S: It’s not very beautiful.
I’m sorry, but please close.
S: Don’t worry, it’s okay.
But it never stopped, the infection.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116987
 06.08.2015
xxx: Yesterday, I finally got a monopod with AliExpress.
yyy: Hipster Vasily made a great selfie with a new one-legged.
YYY: And I put it in a fast-track.
Zzzz: Ughu, and I immediately got 2000 morals! Hurra my comrades!! to
XXX: You are in the shit.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116986
 06.08.2015
My husband has fulfilled his childhood dream today.
Finally, he pushed his finger into the working fan.
As a result, the cut to the bone, the blood sheds, and he is pleased,
He said, “I have dreamed all my life.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116985
 06.08.2015
Are you sitting on the Fedora?
Yuri: No, before there was a sweetener, then it became lazy and I moved to kubunta
One day, I decided to pick up a toy. I searched and collected the libraries for two weeks. Twice I went to FF. I played the toy for two days.
Tim: Has this experience been useful?
Yuri is yes. I changed the distribution.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116984
 06.08.2015
* Conversation on the photo of the questioning enot

Maya: He will ask for anything.

by Vladimir:
I am a trained cat. Today, this cattle was so upset that it shouted like a tarzan with a complaining mouth.
Reason 1: He has to eat. At the same time, half of the day he ignores me stupidly in the morning - like I feed his bad food (and my mom bought some experimental bags). And as normal goes, I can also demand them. I don’t care, I don’t care about the kitchen.
Reason 2: Eat and drink. Moreover, this cattle does not drink from the bowl, but you give him the fine water, the running water. At the same time, he just doesn’t want to drink from the crane, he doesn’t want to – he needs a pot. That is, sit and hold a hand or a phone.
I have nothing more to do than make a cat fancy in the morning. I told him that. So what do you think? He took the sleeping parents hostage and said that if I don’t drink him, he’ll wake them up.
Well, I poured him into a bowl of water, brought this majesty to the bowl and tried to show him what to drink here. So this animal, in sacred horror, rested on its limbs, as if I had gathered in this small bowl to melt it.
But as soon as I let him go, he changed his attitude toward water and his parents. Water is naphid. Parents are protectors. Especially the sofa.
You are speaking of a miserable man.

by Maya:
It is great)))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №116983
 06.08.2015
The boys in the Duma speak unwritten, so that the foolishness of everyone can be seen. ~ Peter I
It just became interesting, if we apply this to our state Duma, will their speeches be very different from the “master of the oratory art” of Klitschko?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116982
 06.08.2015
Even if Peskov has a clock worth a few million, there is nothing surprising about it. It is pleasant when people start to count the money of managers. How do people imagine a situation in which rich capitalists will be ruled by poor officials? It’s like believing in the election or in Santa Claus.

*** by
A good attempt, dear patriot. But not.

In this slim theory does not fit the bad Obama with clocks for 400 backs.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116981
 06.08.2015
Or the machine of time was invented, but everyone in a row was not allowed to use it, and in the 20-21 centuries in general quarantine, and for attempts to drive there translucidated, this is the same time of mass disturbance, the infection will be brought from there. Or traveling in time requires low costs, and simply by "go for tea" no one ran out to spend an annual salary on electricity.

*** by
You are all so inventive. They are cute in their naivety.

Third World War, and it is the last.
It was quiet, calm and without any inventions.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116980
 06.08.2015
Talk about the grandmother in the bus.
My daughter is so crazy in the buses that they stop smiling, and they are not happy at all that they caught the girl. She doesn’t ask them about anything... and why, she says, you have such a red mask, because you are old and terrible, you want to be more beautiful? And it’s with such a compassionate face... She’s really worried about grandmother...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №116979
 06.08.2015
My little niece saw a cat give birth. Then he tells:"The big chicken lay down and the small chicks escaped from it, escaped"...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116978
 06.08.2015
From the smartphone:
The screen is bright, but it was not possible to check in the sun - Peter...

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