bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70709
 28.09.2012
Sooner or later, everyone
Meeting this person: C
Which will be good...
Comfortable and quiet...
Or buy an X-box.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №70708
 28.09.2012
All girls have their cockroaches in their heads, but there are girls whose cockroaches in their heads have their cockroaches in their heads.! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70707
 28.09.2012
You know what’s different about throwing a tie from throwing a bouquet?
YYY :?
xxx: The bouquet at least someone tries to catch, and from the bandage everyone like neo in the matrix tries to turn away)

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70706
 28.09.2012
Commentary on Patriot Demotivator:
My grandfather fought, and you watched Anime.
I am just hentai.
Oh yeah, then you can.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70705
 28.09.2012
Damn, I don’t have to do it with her :(
Try to burn.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70704
 28.09.2012
“Egyptian teenagers washing American tear gas out of their eyes must be very surprised to learn that the US is supporting change in the Middle East.”
by Julian Assand

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70703
 28.09.2012
The ambulance has long been a passenger service.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №70702
 28.09.2012
Side Effect

Support the domestic producer.
Only in my opinion, the best support is the direction of their brains. Per because almost the entire last century the industry was predominantly military, and in the civil used "production waste", which somehow adapted to civilian needs. For example, the mixer of the brand "Energy" before the conversion was clearly a perforator, and the vacuum cleaner of the same brand accidentally sucked to the curtain can suck a hole in it. So the creators do not think about all the consequences of the conversion.
The own history.
Ten years ago, there was an invasion of cockroaches. Apparently from somewhere - in a private house, and all the products were hidden, but Nate, from somewhere.
First went into the course of Chinese grasshoppers / pencils / traps and other light shade, actively proving that the topoc is the most effective.
Then I accidentally, on some left bowl, got an unpretentious bottle, neither in sight nor in price - the offspring of some little-known chemical enterprise, apparently another piece of VPK. Unthinkable such, in the stinking "dychlofos" at least some design was present. And here everything is clear on the military "Viral-2M" and understand how you know what the cockroaches are about. Exactly the same restrained instruction, without excesses of type as it works on other animals, whether it can cause allergies, no, everything is simply sprayed in the room, previously closing doors and windows.
I decided to try. Located in the “Chief of Staff” (i.e. In the kitchen, I went into all the cracks I found. The smell was somewhat unusual, but not disgusting, for a while nothing happened... but then something started!! to
This is a vampire!! to
The horror movies are resting!!! to
Polls of cockroaches run from everywhere. (When I run forward, I will say, I then removed the tortoise bodies almost entirely.)
And crowds, in the style of films about the mummy or Indiana Jones, climb the ceiling!!! to
The ceiling is brown and moving!
Dead and half-breathed cockroaches will rush on my head, over the shovel... rain like that of cockroaches!

For two days I was nervous.
The turtles seem to have disappeared throughout the area. So far no one has seen anyone.
And manufacturers like this want to say one thing: “Thank you, of course, but you would still warn about side effects somehow!”

[ + 25 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70701
 28.09.2012
To earn 2.5 million. The Euro, Igor Denisov needs:
280 years as a foreign language teacher;
140 years of working as a subway engineer;
90 years as a manager of a large company;
- 1 year with the mouth closed to play in Zenit.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70700
 28.09.2012
We sit with our seven-year-old son in the theater, like white people, waiting for the start of the show. Slowly the light begins to go out. The son pushes me side by side and asks the whole hall: "Mom, and now the trailers of other shows will be, yeah?"

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70699
 28.09.2012
I read the announcement:
The number 13,14 from 8 to 17 will not have electricity.
The 1st thought
I'm not going to crack down (
The second thought
I’m still at work at this time.)
The next day, I came from work and the refrigerator immediately told me that I was thinking wrong!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №70698
 28.09.2012
On the Day of the Elderly, I call an old relative, a small grandson takes the phone. "And where is Grandma? - She went to school, on the Day of Poor People..."

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70697
 28.09.2012
Comics in contact. Crossover and miniature paintings.
Crossover: There are rumors - in Russia the speed on the highways can increase up to 250km per hour.
Will you stop bullying?! to
Comments on Comics:
11 is serious? by
Are there buses in Russia?? to
Are there roads in Russia?
444: Russia 0
555: Are the machines talking?
The 666?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №70696
 28.09.2012
I sit in the toilet cabin at work. I hear someone entering the neighboring cabin - and there is silence. Long.Suddenly "poppy shot" and bursting:"no, at least so..."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №70695
 28.09.2012
WOW :
I just need you tomorrow!! to

xxxxxxxxxxx:
O_O

WOW :
What is amazing?? to

xxxxxxxxxxx:
by Nafiga?

WOW :
I can’t get in touch with the old man. Not from the phone or the computer.? to

xxxxxxxxxxx:
And with the new?

WOW :
The new one is normal.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №70694
 28.09.2012
Army, military airfield, crew of 5 people, of them 1 supplier.
There were only 4 parachutes in the aircraft all the time.How did the commander present it, and the supplier replied: "Well, if it happens to jump, I will stay, I'm old already." Everything was struck after that.
After some time, this crew flies in the winter, in the mouthpiece.They fly by the instruments: in the airplane, the syrene rings, the red lights hit the eyes (emergency lighting).The pilots are nervous, sweat on the face.But still sat, uur. They come out of the cabin and see a picture: the supplier is sleeping.
All of the officers decided to stick over him:
They open the lookout, and there is a mole, it is not visible further to sit, the snow in the plane is thickening.
They wear parachutes.The commander approaches the armor and knocks on his shoulder and says:
Good luck! you are a great guy! glad to meet you!
The supplier waking up in shock, looks at the crew in parachutes, looks at the luke, the sirene still whispers.Not long thinking, with one blow cuts the Commander, takes off the parachute and jumps into the open luke with a star.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70693
 28.09.2012
Now in the subway in front of me stood a guy, not deprived of brutality, his arm had a plush something of a siren color, on the stomach of which was the inscription "Mudozvon"))) so myiilo))) probably, a farewell gift from the girl!)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70692
 28.09.2012
In general, correspondence through an agent is not the best way to communicate, it is. But not the worst either. Imagine we were in the Middle Ages. When the pigeons were sent with letters) the same agent just imagine that there is a dead person at all and messages come once in...eee... once a day. In the best case!

A pigeon can confuse everything and fly into another window. From here came the phrase "sorry, I confused the windows"

Well, or any other force majeure, will fly tired and fall into the river with the crocodiles. They will save him and courageously take on the courage to deliver the letter. You open the window and there is a crocodile in the teeth of paper. The eight-floor bedroom was stunned. And you will naturally shout "Y@pthumb!" and you will shut up the fork and it will fly down.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70691
 28.09.2012
In the forum talk about sensors on the excavator:
SWG: The navigation problem was originally solved.
Instead of building a map of the landscape, he builds the landscape on the map. The idea is interesting...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №70690
 28.09.2012
I work as a teacher. 8th grade English lesson. The class does not shine. There is a sentence with the word always.
What is always? Everybody thinks hard. Hearing thoughts out loud, such as "Something Familiar"
Here, as usual, the most intelligent from the back "This is a Pull"
Hence the question of the 1st party, so that few have heard "I do not know why they", again the answer from the 2nd party "Better do not ask!!" ) )

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna