Physicist: Well tell us, Michael, what are the fields?
Hm... the corn?

I want a chocolate, a huge red cat and fuck!! to

I stood smoking on the balcony, the kids in the yard playing Harry Potter:
The Abruz Cadabrus! by Pszcz
Ladies and gentlemen, Ladus Kalinus! Grandma
This is a forbidden shit!

Yesterday I was at the bar. I ordered 9.5 kg of popcorn at the nearest theater. When he was ready, I went with another guy. They guessed the whole popcorn to spit into two huge garbage bags (40 liters). And now imagine the picture: there are two healthy young guys with garbage bags, sometimes they stop and eat out of these bags.

The only stability I’m sure of is that my cat will come to the kitchen in the morning and demand his share of the sausage.

I just heard someone sneezing in the street. Reflectively shouted:"Be healthy!" Answer "Thank you, the shock" made me very happy.

All for the exhumation of potatoes! Hurra comrades!

zzzzz:Guess the puzzle "The red head climbs into the hole"
Fuck, I know the guess.
ZZZZZ: The Thief
Yyyyy: I know the guess, but I can’t remember.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! to
Yyyyy: Well so what is it???? to
zzzzz:That’s what you’re doing!!!! to

I apologize in advance for the annoying shit.
Marina Hysamova, please forgive me for all my nonsense that I have done. I am a complete fool. I want to go back in time, change everything. I know, now I don’t need a drop of you, you don’t care, I’m the fault of it all. But I need you, I need you, fuck you like air!
I love you very much.

I apologize again, dear brothers. Everyone is happy and, most importantly, love :)

Having a girl is like having a puppy. We need to walk with her, feed her, spend time with her.
Sometimes throw a stick.

Today in the pool I heard a delightful dialogue between a 8-year-old boy and his father:
Why are only girls taking synchronous swimming?
Because it is a female sport.
Why is?
“Well, imagine my hairy curved legs above the water – it’s not aesthetic!

On torrent commentary to the movie "pregnant":
XXX is a movie! Everyone must watch it!!! This is this year’s best film. Djokovic is playing badly. A very high-quality plot that makes you rethink your whole worldview and bury your head in the sand so that no longer such selective stupidity can be seen!

In the interview:
What is your weakness?
Sometimes I confuse reality with fiction.
Okay, what is your strength?
I am a crazy Batman.

Talk about wages in the city.

xxx: Find yourself an outside occupation other than the main job ) believe, and sitting at the computer at home you can do 100 thousand a month clean ) It all depends on you. Everything comes and goes with time.

YYY: Not everyone has a webcam and big.... ambitions

At the wedding, the father of the bride speaks:
Congratulations on your new husband!
The bride is married for the first time.
Everyone was in shock, and only the bridegroom calmly said:
I probably don’t know anything about you yet.

News on Yandex:
1st Moscow is expecting a cold and rainy weekend
2nd In Moscow, 57,000 umbrellas were stolen from the warehouse

White nights is when girls invite guys to the night :)

What is a tragedy for the country, then for television talk show.

and :-(

Memories of a former mother.

Every night I went to bed and started to fantasize, smoothing my stomach... here the daughter looked at me for the first time, here she smiled to me for the first time, but here is her first step, but here we are already walking on the street, I lead her by the pen, she whispers, and I show with all my appearance how happy I am, because I am a mother... I usually fell asleep at the moment when I gave my daughter married.

The date of the examination is 38 weeks and 4 days. I go to the reception room with a heartbeat. And then a cat runs out to meet me and begins to climb to my feet! I, overwhelmed by such a kind reception, stand at the entrance to the reception room, and the midwife, seeing this picture, with a nightly voice reports that I am giving birth in the next day or two (while she didn’t even know what my term was!). A little later, I was explained that by the behavior of this cat, for several years, it has been unmistakably determined which of the women lying in the prenatal department will give birth in the next day or two. Accuracy of 100%

In any city, if you drive all the time on a good road, you can come to the mayor's house.