bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133061
 03.09.2016
Disconnect from the Internet. I had a story. The home internet began to turn off every morning and turn on in the evening, and with each day to turn off earlier and later. It was at the end of the winter, just when the light day increased noticeably. Support could not answer anything reasonable and we had the idea that this was due to the turn-off of the light in the entrance. I checked, it turned out not. The mystic continued. A few days later, they risked to assume that the active switch was in the neighboring entrance. And the bingo! It was really him! I don’t know what the workers did, but the internet switch really was there. So don’t laugh at those who try to shame with all the available means.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133060
 03.09.2016
Cell phone in the back of jeans
Light vibration - message on whatsup

Something has happened! I feel the ass!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133059
 03.09.2016
xxx: for the first and last time, I put my eyebrows with bacon in a deep plate!

It is much more comfortable to lick

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133058
 03.09.2016
How do you teach fat people to fall faster than thin ones? The physicist is confused.
—————————————————————————————————————

Physicist Kun, and in your opinion all parachutes descend at the same speed regardless of the weight of the jump? Then, according to your Kunov physics, under the usual d1 5u tanks you can drop to the ground, right? and :)
P.s A physics textbook is two.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133057
 03.09.2016
News on riafan "The head of NASA tired of paying Russia for the delivery of astronauts to the ISS"
The only comment: "Buy a tramp!!!!!!)))) andquot;

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №133056
 03.09.2016
The new Russian football team defeated the national team of Turkey with the score 0:0.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133055
 03.09.2016
You have such a deep inner world that the very idea of fucking you doesn’t seem dirty, but dangerous – you will suddenly fail.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133054
 03.09.2016
<xxx> Here in the park, teenagers are playing a crocodile, and they were puzzled to show tolerance now.
<yyy> You have not been arrested. Be careful, don’t break your pants!
<xxx> How do I show tolerance?
<yyy> Start beating them and then show the cross with your hands.
<xxx> This is spirituality.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133053
 03.09.2016
and ENOTA:

Don’t be afraid of cameras. Make yourself a terrible Halloween costume and make in your city the rumor that "Whoever the monster will have a pumpkin, he will have a whole year."
People are good, and you taste good.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133052
 03.09.2016
What do you do when you are not bathing?
YYY: I am sleeping
XXX with whom?
With a pillow.
XXX: How are you?
YYY: Super straight
XXX: Isn’t it a scam? Not a board?
YYY : No. I can make any form.
XXX: Soft, and there is something to hold?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XX: Well I wish you happiness with her for many years.
YYY: Thanks from us.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133051
 03.09.2016
Where is this asteroid going to be? Or again all the videos on the regic, offensive, I want to shoot in a normal full HD.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133050
 03.09.2016
It’s time to give up to the fuck! In other words, in sale.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133049
 03.09.2016
As a teenager, she went to the surgical department of the regional hospital for a long time (joint trauma, surgery plus rehabilitation, in total almost six months). I have to say that I was the right housewife from a strict family, for whom the limit of hooliganism is to return home later than I promised, causing my mother to get nervous. In the hospital, I learned a lot about the shadow sides of life.

For example, in the department was a 14-year-old Vanya, who at night went to fuck to his 12-year-old girlfriend, whose room on the roof of a private house, once broke and injured his leg when falling so much that doctors did not know if it would be possible to avoid amputation.

A couple of years later, the father mocked his younger brother for what his mother said to his parents, and he didn’t seem to understand why I was nervous.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133048
 03.09.2016
I just accidentally picked up a guy’s phone.
XXX: There is a correspondence with the left grandmother. How can I bring him into conversation?
YYY: Is it by chance?
ZZZ: It is not
zzz: you go by this way, and there on the screen "take me"
ZZZ:...
Zzzz: I just made it worse :D

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133047
 03.09.2016
We went to lunch at the dining room (through our body). At the entrance there is a place for smoking, there is our new practitioner Cole, yesterday’s student, in jeans and a black jacket.

I go back, in the same place stands a man of fifty years of the same height (completely, indeed), in the same jeans and black jacket. It was a miracle to keep him from noticing that smoking made him very old almost in front of his eyes.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133046
 03.09.2016

by c010b0c:
I recently had an interview with June (truth in Python, not Java). Three stages. First test with answers to language knowledge options - passed. Then the conversation with the guru distantly on logic and consideration - passed. Followed by a conversation with him on organizational issues plus a short DISC test. I decided to make a joke and on the request to describe the ideal candidate for their company, I replied that I see him as a worker with psychological training as a cosmonaut. In a week, they wrote that I was callous, but they were callous with me will work. The conclusion - you can't guess why they won't be taken to work.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №133045
 03.09.2016
Artemides have children! After a year and a half of working with clients, I met a man with the name "Artyomovich"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №133044
 03.09.2016
I’m a cracker and always want to eat in the morning, so I eat a tight breakfast. I also like to cook. In general, my sister gave me a book of “One hundred (or how many there are) breakfast recipes for every day.” Looks like the perfect gift, right? But now I am dying of curiosity and I want to see people preparing breakfast with a cooking time of three hours and twenty minutes, clearly intended to be eaten at once, not cooked in the evening. This is who they are, how their lives are built and, by the way, where they work and/or when they sleep.! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133043
 03.09.2016
Comments under the video in which a security system specialist tells you what things to install in the car to minimize the likelihood of theft. At the same time, the video shows a very deep disassembly of the machine and the installation of complex, expensive equipment:

- No matter what my car is stolen, I roll the wheels in the evening, glue it in the morning and go to work.
I remove the engine in the evening, take it home, and put it in the morning.
I sell my car in the evening and buy a new one in the morning.
I have a ZAZ-968.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133042
 03.09.2016
<v4vlad> go in quacu via hamac
<tazar> no, with my inertia only in the third heroes, and then by correspondence.

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